November 6, 2013
October 6, 2010
Dear World Pulse Members, i am a Young woman aged 34. One of the woman who has been subjected to gender based violence since my childhood. I became so existed when i came across this website, since it has been my dream to be one of the people to fight for women and girls and be able to empower them . Please lead my journal to hear more about my story. I am so grateful to join this world pulse where women are able to raise their voice and share experiences and make change .
I am a young woman aged 34 born in a family of 3 girls only. I am one of the woman who has been subjected to Gender Based Violence since i was a child, because of being a girl.
My parents were originated from the northern part of the country where a girl child is of lesser value than a male child by culture. It then made matters worse that my mother conceived three girls. As such me and my sisters were regarded as of lesser important to my fathers clan. We leaved like slaves in my own fathers house. We feared my father like a lion, we could not talk on top of our voices whenever he was around. We could not cry while being bitten A day could not pass without being bitten for no apparent reason. We had peace whenever he had gone for work outside the city where we leaved.
Being the elder child , all the violence that took place is clearly remembered and still fresh in my mind. I reached a point of asking GOD why HE created me a human being and not an animal so i could not face all the violence that was taking place. At the age of 15 i thought of getting married so i could rescue my mum and my sisters, but this did not workout
Let me share with you some of the incidences that have affected my life.
In 1991, when i was 15 , my mum was falsely accused of having brought a boyfriend home who happened to be my father’s relative when he was away for work. When my father got the fake news from his younger brother whom we used to stay with , my mother was severely bitten for 4 days. My father then called me on the forth day to see my mum in the bedroom where she was rocked. I entered the room found my mother naked, swollen and her body was black. He turned to me and said have you seen this prostitute? I felt pain inside me but there was nothing i could do. On the fifth day my mum fainted. She was then referred to hospital. My father warned me not to break the news to anyone or else he would do the same to me. So i stayed quiet and my mother was discharged after 7 days.
We always remained silent since we did not know where to report the incidences , and the violence became part of our everyday’s life.
In 1997 , 27th January, my father came back from work and went to the kitchen and found a plate in the sink that was broken. He then confronted my mother about the broken plate, as my mum was about to start explaining, my father started beating her in the presence of his mother, accusing her of being careless for letting the plate get broken. I felt pain inside me seeing my mum being bitten because of a broken plate . I could see my mum dying as my father held her oesophagus and my mum could not breath. I woke up from where i was like a magnet, grabbed a strong kitchen chair and hit my father on the head. He then immediately left my mother and turned to me . He grabbed both my hands and said how dare you touched me. He regarded himself as god who is untouchable. I do not know where i got the courage that moment , i replied why did you want to kill my mother. He then told me to leave his house and look for my father since if he was my father i would have not touched him. I left that night but feeling bad since i knew i had left my mother in trouble.
I stayed out of my father’s house for six month and returned on 13 july, 1997. I was then severely bitten as a punishment for what i did.
In November, 2000, while at the university my father left the country after loosing his job. He left us in the hand of our mother who was a house wife. Me and my sister struggled to finish up our degree levels because of luck of financial support. My father left while he had already infected my mother with the deadly disease ( AIDs ). Me and sisters struggled to take care of my mother since we were still at school and no financial support.
My mother passed away on 27th August, 2003. It was painful to accept her death. Since i felt she had gone too soon without tasting the other side of life. I still feel bad when i remember my mum telling me that she was dying because of us ( kids) . She used to tell me that if she was financially well she could have left my father, but since she was not she thought she could not manage to raise us and be able to educate us.
Though i did not manage to fight for my mother’s rights because i was young and i did not know who could here my voice. This does not shatter my dreams of becoming a fighter for Gender based Violence. I know i can raise my voice now and be able to save other women out there who are also experiencing what my mum experienced.
I have worked for 5years but also became a victim of sexual harassment by my boss. Since i did not tolerate my boss demands, he found good reasons to end up the project i was heading. I am now jobless for 1 year and 10months.
Through what i have experienced from my childhood up to now, it is my wish to undergo a masters degree in women and girl empowerment or the related field so as to get equipped with laws that do protect women and girls and there after join organisations that work to protect women.
I am so thankful for the founder of this networking group that is bringing women together, to share ideas, find solutions and be able to fight for women and empower them globally.