Grooming for Molestation
Take care of your child; goats gain access to what is left unattended. Names though are exclusively meant for identification purposes but it can also be an indicator of level of importance to or appreciation, if you christened your child “empty calabash”, the world will identify with her as such or if the wife is called washing hand basin, so will she be treated, some renamed their wives, honey and they continually treat her so, except when isolation creeps in, if the wall is not cracked, the lizard cannot have easy access.
Child Sexual Abuse is soar at an alarming rate because offenders thrive on the busy nature of parents. We are busy with our businesses while they are busy grooming the children. Grooming is a process the molester goes through to break down the child’s resistance to sexual activity and to engage the child in the activity.
When a child is neglected there is the tendency to seek affection elsewhere and if such child falls in the wrong hand, it might become a life long agony to everyone involved, on the other hand if we consider the fact that conscience Is an open wound, only truth can heal it, offender can sometime be civilized, a new being with a soul, spirit and body no matter how hardened he/she is there are few occasions when the milk of human kindness may flow per chance, on such .rare occasions the offender may agonize too, who knows?
Remember, an offender needs isolation to penetrate the mind of a child before capturing it, it is still the same, pursue, overtake and retain/recover. Therefore, an isolated child is a fertile ground for the sex offender, giving too much time in the hand of a non-stranger is even dangerous because child sexual abuse is mostly perpetrated by non-strangers, hardly will a strange man/woman abuse a child. Often the molester will go through a process of getting the adult community that surrounds the child to accept and even welcome the molester’s involvement with the child.
Create time for your child, though time is money but life is more precious than money. What is spent in any reconstruction process doubles the amount budgeted before demolition, the child would have created a strange world, lived there, and if eventually it is discovered, from initiation to sentencing, police to therapist, much time is wasted on what could have been averted, scar leaves indelible marks .
Education and discussion is equal to prevention, develop a cordial training relationship with your child, those subjects we are ashamed to discuss with them are openly exposed by the offender, children are curious being, answer their question in an age-appropriate manner and they are content. Start from age 18 months, give appropriate names to body parts, immediately the child learns to talk, if you rename vagina flower good but do not forget that flowers are to be played and toyed with but later trampled, be careful. Life is give and take, no one will lie on a Delilah’s bosom and expect to wake up on father Abraham’s bosom, just the way Rome is not built in a day so also mutual trust between child and parents needs nurturing, do not leave your ward to the World, resolutely mould and build the structure on a solid foundation.
Groom your child; do not give room for mundane things to generate an everlasting, sorrow beware of that pedophile who in the pretense of love throws a child into everlasting darkness. Do not forget, believe your child, if you do not, who will?. An adage says, the real pain of child birth can be seen on the face of a thief’s mother, when you pursue his son with cutlasses and stick, she says oh! It is not my son, it is the devil, and on the odd occasion will you hear the mother of a thief say, ah! Set my son on fire, he is the troubler’ of my Israel.
Grooming takes time, the offender gives the impression of love and enough time the parent could not spare and the unmerited gifts must not go unquestioned. The child has spent his/her young life to protect you, bargaining with the offender who promised to kill the parent, protection of a child rests absolutely on the shoulder of responsible adults.
Permission for grooming is ignorantly granted by parents but when we display adequate knowledge about trends in child sexual abuse, especially the dynamics of sexual violence, incessant curiosity about protection and interest in all form of child abuse will set potential offenders on their toes when it concerns your child. If your heart tells you that something is wrong with a relationship, follow it because definitely it is wrong. Do not be naïve. Let a child be a child, think of the child first, do not leave the thinking for someone else, and child is a being in need of protection and attention but definitely not grooming from a potential offender.
There is danger in collaborating with offenders by keeping it secret, exposing the offender is rendering help to, an offender needs healing, other children in the neighborhood are potential victim, a leopard never change its spot but it is better to protect these innocent ones than protecting our interest. To an abused child, a twenty year old pounded yam, burns like hell.
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