March 23, 2009
I was raised to respect my elders, not talk back, listen to my parents wishes and obey. My mother raised me this way because her mother raised her that way and so did her mother before her. It seems that as I got older I realized that I did not have a voice. The voice that was coming through my parted lips was that of my mother, her mother and so on. I wasn't raised to have an opinion. When I turned 30 and became sick (Lupus) I was shaken awake and realized that I was in a dilemma. Did I actually posses an opinion, individual thought or was I a sheep walking through life following the back end of some other drone raised to do the same thing?
As I got older I realized that I did have SOME opinions. Being a rape survivor I was adamant about a womans right to choose, I knew there was a God and I knew that I looked at the world differently than my mother. It has taken me several years to add to this list and to accept that it is OK for me to value my own thoughts and ideas. I think I value others opinions more now as well. I like to take in all forms of others truths without judgment or agenda. I respect that we all have individual life experiences therefore different views on what this life is about. I celebrate those differences and applaud life experience.
I think the thing I most look forward to is to having my own child and raising them to have their own individual voice while still being a respectful citizen of the world.
I always say that my 20's were my learning decade, my 30's were when I put those lessons into practice and my 40's are a time when I can relax into all of the hard work I did in my 20's and 30's. I will always be on a path to better myself and I look forward to the journey.