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How do you deal with anger?

I think I always wonder about is things like how do we deal with "anger" that is inside us? How do you turn this negative energy into something positive for yourself? I think for a lot of woman we were never allowed to express many emotions so it is new and ones like joy or freedom are ones we can figure out on our own what works best for us but some a little guidance would be nice.

I would love to get a lot of examples from woman all over with how you deal with these feelings of anger!

I know I am sometimes surprised when I feel very angry or rage at something. I was a bit embarrassed on one post where she wrote a beautiful poem about a boy she had introduced us to in another post. It brought up a lot of feelings I had not realized I was very angry about. Part of it was my one sister who is just a year older then I wrote me an email a few days ago. It was short and said she needed my help and to please call her. I was worried it was something serious so almost called her on my cell phone but there is always that feeling of mistrust there so I was very hesitant. I asked the girls what they thought and we all agreed I would just send her an email back since my cell phone shows my number and we did not want her having it. It was just her finding an old boyfriend on facebook and wanting a picture taken to show him.

I was glad I had not called her. She wrote again saying something like 'remember how you used to come over and we would watch movies?' I felt a boiling rage but don't like feeling that way so didn't write her back again. I just wanted to grab her by her shoulders and shake her and say 'how dare you! don't you remember when we were desperate and were at your place and you put in a movie showing a girl getting tortured and we said it was too disturbing for us. How you threw the remote at my head, called me a pain in the ass and said I would need to ask our cousin for help instead since you would not."

I just refuse to get involved with them again though I think it is a shame. But it was also remembering how she would torture my mom with calling her names and making her feel bad about herself when we were kids that surfaced when I responded to that one post. I was thinking to myself 'Wow, where did that anger come from?" and that led me to thinking we should share the ways we handle it in a constructive way so we do not do destructive things.

I think there are a lot of us who would like to read your thoughts and what you do so please share with me/us even if it seems a simple and obvious one to you since some of us don't have much experience with allowing us to feel anger in the first place and how to handle it constructively.



Fatima Waziri's picture

For me, when i am upset i

For me, when i am upset i count to ten before i respond just to cool off to avoid staying stuff i would later regret.


TUMAINI's picture

Im not good at handling

Im not good at handling anger, i try and avoid being confrontational, but if i feel its something i need to let out i wait a few days when i can truly relate to how i felt when i was angry. That way you see that i was hurt rather than angry.....Most of the time i find that i am more hurt than angry.

Other times i just walk away and chose to be the bigger person.

aliĝngix's picture


In a positive way, I really have to think about it, about what I'm doing or I'll blow up. I've gotten better, but I usually stay away from the thing I am angry at, and cool down. If it's an outside force, I just tell myself to be a better person than they are being. After all, the best revenge is being happy is the best revenge you can have...See ya.

sunita.basnet's picture

My Opinion

Dear Jackie,
Thanks for your post. For me, I would drink a glass of cold water and see the mirroe. When I look at the mirror, I started to laugh. Finally, I will forget my anger.

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

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