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Introducing myself and my journal: heal yourself

About Me:
i am a mother of three children, i live in kigali, i love peace, and need every body to have peace, that why i am straglling to fight domestic violence at all level.my husband is proud about my project and he also changes after starting this project.

My Passions:
travel, theaters and films

My Challenges:
money

My Vision for the Future:
to change the community

My Areas of Expertise:
sociology

Comments

JaniceW's picture

Karibu

Welcome to PulseWire! Your words are an inspiration. I believe that by you telling your story, one more voice may feel empowered to speak out and take a stand against domestic violence. I encourage you to reach out to other members, or start a dialogue by commenting on another journal entry.

You might like to connect with member, Maria, who courageously took herself and her daughters out of an abusive relationship and is a role model for so many. You can become her friend by clicking on the "add to my community" button just below her profile image. Maria can be found at:
http://www.worldpulsemagazine.com/user/1437

To get started, you can share your ideas and dreams by writing in your journal, reading other member's journals and offering comments, and joining groups to participate in the discussions. Our group directory (http://www.worldpulse.com/pulsewire/groups) is full of amazing voices who have come together around a single topic or interest. You might also consider starting your own group where you can build a powerful network bringing together PulseWire members with similar visions who want to share ideas or actions.

I look forward to reading more from you. Best wishes,
Janice
PulseWire Community Director

aliĝngix's picture

Welcome to PulseWire!

Hi! Can't wait to hear from you, what you plan to do in your area about domestic violence, your thoughts on whatever subjects come to mind will be nice to hear. Hope you enjoy here, and see you around.

charlottenyiraneza's picture

stories

thank you my friend i have been sick now , i am coming to fill my stories,my journal will be the expression and stories of our neighbor, we need your ideas.

My name is Ingabire , I live in Kigali. During the Rwandan Genocide, I was still 20 years old. I was raped by the Interahamwe militiamen for their simple pleasure of having sexual relations with a victim’s girl. In this way, I was infected with HIV/AIDS. Before the genocide, I had a fiancé, but he left me after he learned that I had been raped and infected with HIV.

At this time, I live an unhappy and pitiful life. Because of my poor health, I cannot find work because I am always sick. I am allergic to anti-retrivirals. No one is here to take care of me, my family was exterminated during the genocide. I am the only survivor. My friends have all left me because I am a burden to them. The neighbors, whose family members committed genocide, they laugh at me, saying that I was a prostitute and I caught AIDS. I live a life of complete anguish. at a certain time some one come to tell me that he loves me, he pregnanted me and he lives me because he has a good education that I don’t have, I accepted to give birth and suffer with my baby girl who has no value in the family because she is a girl, I am working in a saloon, with little money I earn my living with my baby, but I don’t know what wrong with me, now , I did a fornication with a man who came and tell me that he is going to marry me legal, but I am more suffering than ever , because , I am the one to pay rent, to find food and every things of our needs, and some time he leave me with some materials, and after I see him back. this is Ingabire ‘s story.

As we called our journal heal yourself, and we see that the big problematic of domestic violence In Rwanda is that culture ask women to keep quite, now we are helping them to express their problems, so this is an openly debate for you to give advices and think how women together we can release our friends from ignorance and oppression.

for me Charlotte , i told her to know about women's right, and tell her that the goverment is serious ho handle this problem, she asked me if she is known by the authorities,

No communication in my family some one told me, I am well educated and my husband also, but I am wondering why this happens to me, my husband don’t care about me we live as a brother and sister, he could not remember to have a time of taking decision together, to plan doing this and this in the family, he just inform me that he finished doing this, and when I did some thing without his concert he is very annoyed with me. To day I have a big problem, we didn’t talk about family planning we have to children and he was talking himself that they are enough, in our life I can’t refuse sex, because this is Rwandan culture that woman must not refuse sex to his husband, this is what your aunt told you when you are going to get married. Now I came to find myself pregnant, and now I have a lot of problems, my husband is very angry for me, he always says what wrong with you? You say you are sick, if you don’t eat I don’t care, there was a time I was feeling to die with hunger because when I am pregnant I feels any food bad and there are some I try, but I have no way because he is the one who is working in the family, he is not happy that I am going to sit down within 9 months and over without seeking a job. What is very bad is that my uneasiness make him push me, he say are vomiting, it smells very bad in my room, take other room and we live in a small house, what do I have to do now, this is a problematic, tell me what I can do?

After hearing this story , we need your advices for such woman, she need peace and be healed of her spirit, I think , there are other cases in under developed countries, this open to everybody to read and give your opinions, and I also think that there will be others who has the some thinking or behavior like this, myself to handle this big problem inside families , I put those cases in scenes so that some one who behavior like that can have conscious examination , we are waiting to your comments which will be helpful or any way you think you can handle this problem.

Je réponds au nom de MUKARURINDO Clémentine, j’aimerais vous parler un peu de ma biographie pour que je puisse respirer. Bien entendu il m’est difficile d’exprimer mon chagrin, […..] je vais essayer.

Comme vous me voyez, j’ai l’air vieille et pourtant j’ai 22ans révolu. Cela est dû à une vie malheureuse que je entrain de mener par suite d’un jeune homme qui m’a trompé dans l’amour lorsqu’il m’engrossa à l’âge de 16ans.

En effet, je suis issue dans une famille pauvre. Mon père est décédé quand maman était au troisième trimestre de la grossesse (lorsque maman se prêtait à me mettre au monde) et j’ai perdu ma mère après 9ans de naissance.
Ma grande sœur dont le mari exilait à cause de la guerre de 1990 entre le Front Patriotique Rwandais, FPR en sigles et la coalition des miliciens Interahamwe et Inzirabwoba du régime de l’excès président HABYARIMANA Juvénal et à cause du génocide des Tutsi de 1994, s’est charge de m’éduquer avec ses 4enfants pourtant elle n’a pas réussi cette tâche puisque au lieu de me laisser poursuivre mes études primaires elle m’a exigé de garder ses enfants. Ce jeu précoce des responsabilités m’a poussé de quitter et aller chercher la vie dans la ville de Kigali.

Depuis mon arrivée, juste en 1998, jusqu’au 2001, j’était employé comme bonne dans différents ménagers et pendant cette période mon salaire oscillait entre 2000 et 4000 Frs par moi. Hélas en 2000, un garçon qui étudiait à l’Université Adventiste Lait (UNLK) m’a violé et je suis automatiquement tombé enceinte. Il m’a demandé de chercher un docteur pour m’aider à avorter et je refusais. Remarqua ma position, il a augmenté la consolation et comme la grossesse avançait, il m’adonné 50000Frs et m’a demandé de quitter avant que le secret soit connu par tout le monde. Et, j’ai encore refusé. Comme il craignait le châtiment et la suspension de se études, il m’a promu que si je le laisser tranquille il va légitimer l’enfant et faire le mariage légal avec moi. J’ai du accepter.

Dans les premiers jours, il m’a assisté et un an après nous avons célébré le mariage pour me témoigner qu’après son étude nous serons ensemble à jamais. Je me suis chargé de l’éducation de mon enfant et aucune personne de la belle famille qui me visite jusqu’aujourd’hui parce que nous avons fait toute chose à l’insu de sa famille. A l’hère actuel, il a terminé, il y a 2ans et pourtant il n’accepte pas de vivre avec moi et mon enfant et il a épousé une séparée ayant 4 enfants. Lorsque je lui demande la séparation définitive et de prendre son enfant, il insiste qu’il m’aime et qu’un jour laissera son deuxième bureau pour réaliser la promesse.

Ainsi, je suis dans l’embarras puisque mon enfant de 6ans n’étudie pas, ma famille respective comporter à mon encontre, mon cœur n’est pas posé et l’idée de saisir la justice ne revient pas dans mon esprit parce que l’image de ce garçon est toujour gravé sur ma conscience. Ohٳ mon futur est incertain et je suis toujours marquée par le chagrin ; je pleure ma vie, je regrette me vie et pleure mon mari que je perdu vivant.

MUSHINZIMANA Christopher, actor in
Achieving a better life group

JaniceW's picture

Journal entries

dearest Charlotte,
Thank you for these posts and reaching out to the community. Because you have written them as "comments" in your first journal entry, many members may not find them and I would so love for everyone to read both "No communication in my family" and "Stories". If they are journal entries, then they will appear in our Voices Rising section for all to see.

Make sure you are "logged in". To create a NEW journal entry, click on the "Journal" tab on your profile page. Click on the "Post to your Journal" orange button on the right. This will create a page on which you can paste your original entries for "No communication in my family" and "Stories". I recommend you paste them in as separate entries with the titles being the same as before.

Should you need help with these, please don't hesitate to let me know, by clicking on the word "reply" at the bottom of this comment box. Best wishes,
Janice

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