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Maria de Chirikof's Mentor Love Letter

Just wanted to post it here so people can post suggestions on ways to improve my writing!

They say that love at first glance is a myth spread around to make woman believe that the attraction they feel is more then a physical reaction. It is true that thoughts of you caused my blood to beat faster with a desire I dared not name. I was never the kind of girl who could say openly what she wanted and certainly never one who ever expected to get it. I hoped, at most, that you would nod to me in passing as you headed to a brighter woman then myself. I opened my heart to you and revealed my true self and you found me of interest. In my heart I knew we were meant for each other and our passion would set the world on fire.

I really like this idea of citizen journalism since it provides the world a chance to see honest and open opinions from people who they would never have thought to ask before. Or rather, they did ask but in the wrong way and ended up getting tongue-tied replies instead of a more meaningful dialogue. I hope to learn new skills and develop my writing to help others understand the things I am passionate about.

I am a mother of 4 daughters who I adore more then anything else in this world and they are the ones I want to change the world for. I am an Alaskan Native, an Aleut, and am very interested in empowering other indigenous peoples since our wisdom comes from a time and place when people valued the Earth and treated it with respect. This, in turn, led to treating people in this same respectful way. The world earnestly seeks these ideas yet are unsure how to regain this connection. I believe I can help change this.

Comments

Maria de Chirikof's picture

goals

I think I should have added in more about my goals since one important one is raising awareness about abuse of woman, especially emotional abuse. I figured the opening paragraph would show my self-doubts in a way so would be enough but I wonder now if I should have changed it to show more clearly my goals.

Fluff is a word I use when I critique my daughter's work and I mean it is interesting but not necessary. Our main problem is I am good at 'fluff' since I use it a lot when writing my novels to grab and keep the readers interest. It is one thing I will need everyone's help on for this though!

So, please, never be afraid to point out places where I use it too much. I probably would suggest to my girls if this was theirs to rewrite that whole first paragraph into one sentence and build from there. Because it was called a 'love letter' I figured it was not formal and meant to engage so used fluff but in other ones I will need help cutting it so please never be afraid to note places I do it!

It will be a fun challenge to figure out how to write and meet the word count limits.

Maria

Hi dear Maria,
I am still afraid and don't feel quite competent on giving advice,
but at the same time it is a sudden contrast between 1st and 2nd paragraph.
In the beginning I was in love following the lines and the style,
but then suddenly it was like a BOOM and chance of style and like a wake up to the reality.

Anyway,
my reason to write was to give you a welcome non-diplomatic hug :)

I love you love letter!
And I haven't yet dared to read this assignment yet!
Feels like I am going to be a bad student :)

So nice you doing novels, since when?
Cheers!
V

Victoria Vorosciuc
Project Coordinator
"Empowering women to participate
in community life"
WorldPulse Media Corresspondent

I think we all would love to hear how to improve oru writing so never be afraid with mine to say this part needs fixing! I can see what you mean though.

We will all be here to help each other keep each other motivated and encouraged so don't worry about that part of it since I am sure we will all feel that way at some point during this! I think was one she intends to include with our profile so it is just a chance to let the mentor see what your writing style is like to start us off, at least that is how I am thinking of it.

It was kind of interesting browsing the sites she mentioned and I look forward to learning more about it all.

thanks for the hug, can always enjoy them and all are appreciated!

Maria

jap21's picture

Objective and positive

Dear Maria:

Sorry it took me so long to answer this. I like your love letter because it is straight forward and inspiring. I didn't know fluffs existed. Good to know. I will look them up in my writing.

Thanks for sharing- You are the first who was brave enough to post the letter.

Warm hugs,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

Maria de Chirikof's picture

smiles

Not bravery so much as I think it was partly I wanted to see everyone elses and had already finished mine since I was sooooooooo excited I did it right then and there then began to worry mine would seem silly compared to everyone elses!

Maria

The first paragraph was captivating and invited the reader to join you in the flirt, it was extremely tantalizing!! What are your novels about. I was excited and very proud to learn that you are a single mom and bravely homeschooling your daughters you truly are a superwoman or would you perfer wonder woman? Your choice, but you are certaintly above a six figured woman, a line I read in one of my favorite novels, that is a woman is truly a mother who is fully matured, and actualizing her goddessness.

Great to have you as my friend. Hope to rise to the scale of novelist, I have certainly read my share. Began to write one, but have not completed the task as of yet, waiting for my mentor to show up and encouragement.

Maria de Chirikof's picture

this summer

The 3 I wrote earlier, all mysteries, I do not have anymore. But I have the new series brewing in my mind and can picture it very well so will start writing it down this summer once the girls' school is over. I am planning a sort of combo thing which I think will work since the second one features the lady who is the 'author' of that first one and is sort of based on the events in her novels as actually having happened and getting mixed up in real life espionage. She is a normal stay at home mom so totally unprepared for all this intrigue but her mistakes she makes along the way lead many groups to believe she is a sort of master mind but no one is sure whose side she is on. It should be more a comedy of errors type then the thriller one. Hopefully I can write them as I picture them in my mind!

The oldest graduated last year with honors grades and the twins are graduating this year with honors grades (A average) and the youngest is on her way to graduating with honors grades so hopefully we can keep it going until she graduates! 2 more years after this one.

I plan this summer to start writing them. Before we were working so hard just to get by that I didn't feel ready to start writing but now with 3 of them graduating next years pace wont be so hard for us! Oh funny, I think I was always partial to Wonder Woman, a tv show when I was a kid and I so wanted to be her! Amazon woman rock!

What will your novel be about?

I loved the first paragraph best too but wanted to make sure my mentor knew I was taking it serious so tried to be very serious for the next 2 ones but still upbeat...

Maria

dr edonna's picture

New Novel

I just read a wonderful novel by Rosalind McLaymont, whose husband I just met. Its about the death of an ambassador and the discovery of her daughters adoption and struggle to find her mother, the writing is excellent and involves characters from North America and Africa.

As for my novel, it will be a spiritual thriller. I have been working on it for sometime but don't have the time to complete it yet. Congratulations on your daughters successes!

Wonder woman was always my favorite show to watch also. I watched her religiously growing up.

Maria de Chirikof's picture

haven't read it yet

I will add that one to my list of ones to look for next time we are at the library, and hope I can remember to bring the list this time!

A spiritual thriller, sounds interesting, set in where? Isn't it so hard to find the time you can just write and not have to worry about time or being somewhere quickly! I think there are several here who are writing books and I joined one group on here but haven't done much there yet except join so far.

I rented a dvd of it to show the girls. I said it will look hopelessly "cheesy" to them but they had to watch her transform at least once! They thought it was kind of sexist but agreed her 'thing' was very cool. Xena is their heroine, have you seen that one yet?

Maria

jap21's picture

Awesome

Dear Maria:

It is awesome that you have 31 writings! I wish I had only one. When are you going to make them available to the public? I would for sure be your first reader.

Let me know any news about how I could get a copy to read. I am here to be your first customer.

Best,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

Maria de Chirikof's picture

I meant 3

It was 3 I wrote and do not have anymore, sadly. I was mad when I wrote the first one and it took 3 years to complete and then read a very similar plot in another mystery so tore it up and threw it away and the same with the next 2. About 5 1/2 years worth of writing gone but I started a new one a few years ago and will write that this summer but who knows how long to finish it. I have the ideas in my head though and can see what happens so just need to sit down and begin writing them. I am hoping this summer I can take the time to do it!

Do you write? That would be great to read it! I hope to get a rough draft written this summer then begin finding a publisher and all that maybe next year. Who knows what will happen but I hope for the best!

Maria

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