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SEX Boycott for Kenyan women might lead to thrashing from their husbands.

"We will thrash them if they try, they have to know who married who, their work is to serve their husbands and their husbands to serve God, let them try, they will see."

These were the words of an man in the Kenya street after an appeal by a Womens activist NGO for Women all over Kenya to Boycott sex for a month to protest over the bad leadership the country has experienced (Almost 80% of Kenyan leadership comprises of men).

As funny as this sounds, it an indication of how much more women in Kenya have to work for their rights ...rights to their body, equal rights to make decision on leadership and the right to lead. If a man can say on national tv that he will thrash his wife if she boycotts sex to champion for good governance then maybe there is something really wrong with our community.

In most communities globally women have been relagated to sex objects and working machines. Is there a difference between the man who beats up his wife because she cant have sex with him because of a reason she believes is valid, or a course she believe in like say abstaining from all pleasures for the sake of the country with the rapist who attacks a waom while walking home? Please tell me the difference!

When the Afghan president okayed a bill allowing rape in marriage, some journalists and human rights activist termed him and his government as worse than taliban. This act dehumanises the victim, the worst form of abuse a woman can go through!

Women should be free to make their own decisions and show leadership.If i dont wanna have sex for whatever reason, my husband should understand that and be able to live with it. Because thats what love and companionship that make up a marriage are all about.

In my blog I speak often about the forms of abuse to women , because I believe that there are many women out there whose rights are violated everyday and have no one to speak for them. Women in warzones, women vulnerable to rape on our streets, women who instead of comfort in their homes live in fear and anxiety wondering what the husband will do to her when she gets back,women who are beaten to a pulp in different brothels but have no where to run because they dont even know where they are.

Comments

jadefrank's picture

Abuse

Hi Logwell,

This quote, "We will thrash them if they try, they have to know who married who, their work is to serve their husbands and their husbands to serve God, let them try, they will see," gives me the chills. This man's response to women abstaining from sex with their husbands for a month in the name of pressuring the government to change leadership, clearly paints the picture of male attitudes in your country and the bumpy road ahead for women to achieve equality not just in the office, leadership roles, and the government, but in their own homes. But this road is being paved by courageous and determined women like you and the numerous other Kenyan women on PulseWire who I so admire. And I know that there are many other women in your country who hear you and will join you in your push for equality.

Thank you for sharing this information - and thank you for raising your voice and working so hard to empower the women of your community.

Warm regards,
Jade

aliĝngix's picture

Her right is what's Right

My title is lame, but to to think of the strength and perseverance of the Kenyan woman to go to such lengths to gain their rights. I believe that woman everywhere should not be violated because 1) They are people, humans and your right, they are in a "partnership" they they both are in, and 2)I don't agree with the facts you are protesting, and that a real man can respect what his lady says.

So congradulations on your protest, and I hope all goes well. I know words don't mean as much as action, but I want you to know I heard, and show my support for this great endeavor. Best regards.

P.S. I believe the messages you wish to send will be heard.

LOGWELL's picture

Hey, Let me make some

Hey, Let me make some correction. The Boycott period is one week and not a month as quoted in the blog.

Thanks Jade and Aligngix for your comments and encouragement. This issue has indeed become a national debate with some women stating that they have been reduced to mere sex objects by those calling for this boycott as there are other ways of protesting against bad governance and leadership.

Others on the other hand claim that sex is a powerful tool that women can use to make changes meaning you deny a man sex, he acts...blah blah blah the debate rages on.

Whatever the debate is , the bottom line is Kenyan women need to take leadership on issues of governance in their country. The have been in the back seat long enough despite being majority of the voters. Wether they decide to boycott sex with their husbands, hold a demonstration , the bottom line is that its time they raised their voices and if this is the only way the Kenyan leadership can listen and bring changes then maybe its not a bad way at all!

The Kenyan women have take a step..it might not auger well with many and as as much as they have raised their eyebrows, they have raised their voices too. They have stated their concerns and someone ought to listen, sex boycott or not!

Cheers.

Logwell

JaniceW's picture

More information

This is such a hot issue right now and I am so thrilled that members such as yourself have brought this to our attention. Stella has also provided some background information on the issue and her post can be found at:
http://www.worldpulse.com/node/9656

The BBC World Service has also written about the issue and the link to their article is:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8025457.stm

Our hearts go out to the women of Kenya and in particular, the women involved in this boycott. There will no doubt be repercussions and we just pray that the women remain safe and that their voices are heard.

Jennifer Ruwart's picture

Quote from BBC Article

I love this quote:

"Great decisions are made during pillow talk, so we are asking the two ladies at that intimate moment to ask their husbands: 'Darling can you do something for Kenya?'"

I keep thinking about all the mediation and intervention (armed or peaceful) that happens in the world to address our global problems. I love the idea that pillow talk could end them.

Brilliant!

Jennifer Ruwart
Chief Collaborator
JR Collaborations

LOGWELL's picture

Hahahahaa isnt that just a

Hahahahaa isnt that just a thought Jennifer....! where are the wives of the world leaders?

Sandra Dean-Marlowe's picture

Mixed Emotions

Well, the original post hits me in two places: 1) that sex as a bargaining tool between men and women is an ancient, and sometimes effective, albeit debasing practice, which most of us have engaged in, consciously or not; and 2) my heart aches for women whose reality still resides in a place where they are objectified and subservient to the masculine run rampant. I am sickened . . . and moved, all at the same time, by displays of such brave, yet dehumanizing, effort. Even the most beautiful and intimate dance is reduced to some form of negotiation between the masculine and feminine. But I am inclined to agree that “desperate times deserve desperate measures.” And treating sophomoric male attitudes with childlike correction just might do some trick. Brings to mind a close friend who was repeatedly abused by a former husband - she finally said to him “if you ever beat me again, you will never again dare sleep at night . . . “ She meant it, he knew it, and he never beat her again. And of course, she left him not long thereafter. That’s just one story, of course, but it’s a terrible cycle . . . no wonder the pain body that women experience as a collective is huge. The Madre is P.O’d!!

Greetings! I just posted links to all the conversations about this topic in the Kenyan group.
http://www.worldpulse.com/node/10140

Jennifer Ruwart
Chief Collaborator
JR Collaborations

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