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Mothers of special children

Nine months or less, and you are never alone again. What a joyous time. What an expectation. What if it's a girl? You wonder. Or a boy? .. As long as it's a healthy baby, we are even with life. It's just that sometimes the blessing comes in doubled: the baby comes with special abilities. Some people like to call them 'disabilities'. I like to see them as doubled blessings. Because you will need doubled strength to cope with his needs everyday.

At first, if the special abilities are very prominent, you will receive all kinds of attention and help. On the contrary, if the special ability is not noticeable at first sight, it could take you years to realize that you need the extra help. To get to know if you are a candidate for special help, please take the following into account:

1.- Does your baby hold up his head in a normal position easily?
2.- Does he sleep too much or too little?
3.- When you take the baby to the pediatrician, does he always get his special attention? Does he give you special hints? Does he require different types of analysis from time to time? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, begin your search.
4.- If your child is a little older (a toddler or kindergarten child), can he draw well? (not like an artist, but with a bit of idea of where the hands, the eyes and the feet go).
5.- If he goes to school already, does the psychologyst call you all the time to talk about his behavior or his grades?
6.- Does he have friends? Can he mantain friendship? Does he get hurt all the time? Does he forget about homework all the time?

If you answer yes to at least five of these questions, get ready for the quest. These are signs that tell you about the need to do some research about the behaviors that worry you. Get real. The situation will not get better with just talking about it, but by taking action upon the whole thing.

Most importantly, do not let years go by. Problems will only get bigger if you don't face them on time. You need to educate yourself. You need to show three times more dedication, love, research, and patience. Start working right away. Don't waste any time.

You will be blessed with the love a person that will always be completely loyal to you, if he is assured of your love. Most importantly, many families in this situation fall apart because of the load of work. If this is your case, relax, smile, let your partner go with God, and follow the right path. Keep loving your child. No psychologyst or doctor can do the work alone, neither can you. Get help. Work hard. Love him a big bunch.

I say 'he', just because I need to use a generalization, but I always mean 'he or she'-

Comments

aliĝngix's picture

Paternity class...

This will be helpful in cases of when, if ever, I will have a baby, as I'm sure it will help in other parents checking to see their kid's are alright. You are a nurse or personal experience? Sorry, that might be too personal to ask. But still, as always, thanks for sharing this information. It's helpful.

jap21's picture

My experience

Hi there,

It is my personal experience that I speak from. Twenty six years of it, as my first kid is special. Not very much. Not very noticeable at first sight, really stressing when you live with him, and surely hard on all of us.

I thought it might be helpful for someone with an alike situation, to be encouraged to find help, and to know that she is not the only one who lives with the dilemma of: Is this for real? Is it really hapenning to me?. Many times reading about this is like having a fresh water glass in the middle of the desert.

Hope it helps.

Best,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

Maria de Chirikof's picture

thanks for posting this

My twins were born early and we had to watch for signs of this kind of thing but luckily both were pretty healthy in that way though they did have the usual things that premature ones do. The first few months or so it seemed we were forever running back and forth to check develop issues to make sure they were doing good. The doctors were glad they were doing so well but not as glad as I was!

Wow, 26 year old child? I thought you must be around 36 or so yourself, I guess it is your vital spirit showing through! Hugs and love to your children! What languages do you speak at home?

Maria

jap21's picture

Good question...

Dear María:

My age! good question! I got married at 17 and had my first child a little less than seven months later. So ... I wish I was that young, but I am not. But I am flattered you thought I was so much younger. We speak Spanish and sometimes English at home. My mother speaks aymara (which I understand to some extent), and my grandmother used to speak aymara and quechua. All Bolivians have indigenous heritage at some level. I just regret I 'whitened' myself (I share that trait with Evo Morales, jajajaja), to the point of not speaking any native language. Since I came to live in the southern border and have worked with indigenous people here, I understand guaraní, the native language in this part of my country.

How old are your girls?

Hugs to you!

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

Maria de Chirikof's picture

languages

I find it fascinating the languages spoken at home and wish I knew more myself! My mom spoke Aleut with her family and used Russian words first before English ones of ones that were not in their language. I always found that so interesting. Listening to them I would wonder what they were talking about and it would go something like "blah blah airplane blah blah" and I would try to imagine what they were saying.

I think that is happening with a lot of indigenous cultures though where they 'blend' in and lose so much! I always think it is vital to learn your cultural languages and we plan to sometime. In my computer game I am designing I use made up words based on Aleut ones as the language spoken in that land. I am still working on figuring out how best to do it though.

I would not have guessed that you were so close to my age, I turn 44 this year but feel more like 30! My oldest is 19, the twins are 18 and the youngest turns 16 this summer.

Love,

Maria

jap21's picture

Nice ages

My oldest son Carlos turns 26 this July, my second son passed away three days after being born due to malpractice (they did not give him the right medicine), so I had another baby the same year, his name is Andy and turns 24 this December. The last one is my princess, her name is Jacqueline (just like me), and she just turned 11 in February.

I have been the proudest mother of all three of them, and now that they are too big to hug me a lot, I wish I had three more! If I only were a bit younger .... maybe I'd have one more.

Love,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

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