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VOF ASSIGNMENT WEEK 4 (...and she lived happily ever after)

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My vision for my life has changed drastically over the years, but especially within the last few weeks. Being here at World Pulse and hearing all these different voices of my sisters has made me realize some things that I have been craving really were not what I needed-nor, indeed, really actually WANTED.

My entire life I have felt lonely. I am an only child, and all the cousins were either 5-6 years older or younger than myself; or, alternatively, living far away. I lived in the country, so bus rides to school were long and fraught with stress as the older kids felt we younger ones were fair game for anything. When I did have friends in school, they all had their own cliques inside themselves, and never invited me to things they thought were "not something I would enjoy" and thus missed out on seeing an entirely different side of me. I had, recently, been translating this loneliness into the need "to find my one, true love" A very Shakespearian/Disney-esque idea. Not only did I have to succeed and be perfect, I had to find the man that was meant to be with me for the rest of my life.

This all obscured the fact that, several years ago, the Beloved told me that I was supposed to take a different path. At the time I thought it was the priesthood, but eventually I found out that I had no real faith in the religion and I covered up that memory of lying there in the presence of the Divine with tears running down my cheeks and swallowed the same thing that girls everywhere are being spoon fed from birth-that women are meant to find a man, marry, settle down and have children. That we were meant to be seen and not heard. That we are not worth anything if we are not the status-quo's vision of beauty, success and motherhood all rolled into one.

Now my vision has changed. I no longer believe that I have to find a man to bring happiness, nor do I believe that having my books be successful in the same way that J. K. Rowling's are will be my ultimate success. I believe, now, that I was meant to be a teacher, a bard and a mediator. A teacher to those who need instruction in their life and works. A bard, a storyteller, singer, songwriter, composer, artist, someone who goes forth and brings everyone together through their own personal stories. A mediator, someone who makes the way easier between two sides of drastic, opposing viewpoints yet are striving for the same goal.

I believe that being a World Pulse correspondent would help me achieve this, both for myself, my community AND the world at large, because it would help me create and use tools that would get me further than the brainstorming process. It would help, overall, to make me take that step out the door that is so very hard, but ultimately necessary to achieve the success and change I would like to see.

Being a correspondent is something I would like to do, because it not only helps me with achieving my goals stated above, but it also helps others in the process.

To finish, I would like to share a quote I got from my Starbucks cup the other day: "There is a subtle difference between a mission and a promise. A mission is something you strive to accomplish-a promise is something you are compelled to keep. One is individual, the other is shared. When a mission and a promise are one and the same…that's when mountains are moved and races are won." ~Hala Moddelmog President and CEO, Susan G. Komen for the Cure

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Genice Jacobs's picture

week 4 assignment

Hi Bonnie,

I'm Genice from Oakland, California and I'm your reader for week 4. I could relate to a lot of what you wrote as I also grew up an only child and was single for many year. I just got married for the first time at age 44. I adopted my daughter from kazakhstan at age 40 and now I have two step children to boot. So I am now a firm believe in "you never know what is going to happen in your seemingly predictable life."

Your essay was very engaging as it took the reader through your story and allowed us to get to know you and to see how you have evolved in your thinking and how your plans for the future are evolving. My only suggestion is that you could have abreviated the story a bit and spent more time flushing out your vision for what you would seek to achieve as a correspondent. In moving through your own blockages, what would your set out to achieve. How would you contribute to the global conversation and help advanced the global women's movement. Just some things to consider.

Overall, great job and a very inspiring life vision.

Keep up the good work.

Genice

Genice Jacobs
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