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652 Words

There are two ways a woman can live: afraid or unafraid. Fear can wear different faces. It is not necessarily always mortal fear, i.e in extreme cases that too many women are sadly facing, but also smaller fears such what one’s parents will think, one’s brothers will think, one’s husband will think, one’s neighbours will think, one’s society will think, one’s country will think…what the WORLD might think! It is exhausting merely thinking of all the ways women can be subdued under blankets of fear, but how easy it is for it to happen if we ALLOW it. There are always two paths one of resistance & thought & the other which may appear easier & less commanding; often it is the ease that seduces women too afraid to do otherwise. “I have a dream,” a woman thinks..“ but he/she/they won’t approve & so I shall keep my dream buried, sacrifice my own self-growth & always wonder what could have been”.

How encumbered we women are, how the shackles hold us prisoner…of our own minds. I know women who seem to have everything; wealth, family, home & yet they are unhappy & complain about their hidden ambitions & how they will never be content. We make choices. That is the first lesson to learn. Those choices dictate our lives & so our lives are our responsibility, entirely. If you CHOOSE to sacrifice your true self, you have chosen, & you should be aware of that for the sake of your own sanity. I am the motivator for so many of my female friends. They turn to me to ask what they should do in order to feel more alive. “I want to take art lessons”… “ So take instant,” is my answer, however somehow the Fear always creeps into them. My father-in-law won’t approve, my husband won’t approve. This is making a choice. Don’t make it if you feel you have short-changed yourself. Ultimately, creating new humans by having babies, & fulfilling a prescribed role is not necessarily going to be a cure-all for your demons. You have been given a life, a blessing, use it wisely.

It is not necessary to do something grand either. One small thing that you do just for yourself is one step towards yourself. That is the second lesson: Break out of repetitive self-emolating behaviour in order to rise like a Phoenix. Fear is not our friend. Independence is the key that can unlock many of the doors act as obstacles. I have seen women in remote parts of Pakistan who have nothing start believing they can change their plights & then against all odds actually do so. In Mianwali for example this one lady who was living in a male-dominated village, having to cover herself from head to toe decided to seek out sewing skills. Slowly, she built on this & started selling her clothes. Now, clad in her burkha ( full covering) she travels to the big cities from her village selling her clothes. She has managed to overcome tremendous fears, & become independent. There is no reason for any human to be oppressed, so why should a woman be by her society, culture, family or country?

A myriad women understanding their own desires & harnessing the power to manifest them is my vision, as a correspondent I would have the chance to perpetuate this vision, both by acting as an example by my own choices & by using all I have, words. WorldPulse in particular is a strong platform from which to speak, with its many empowered voices & the vast geographical, cultural & societal net it has succeeded in casting. If one downtrodden woman in any part of the world can read what I write & be moved & inspired I feel my work is complete, but if many can be moved & inspired perhaps it is I who becomes complete.

I too have a personal dream. I have always wanted to travel, talk to women, document their lives, their stories & then share them with the world. I am therefore, facing my own demons & making my own one step forward towards my dream by connecting & writing with women from everywhere, & all walks of life on WorldPulse.

Additional: Dear Ladies, Check out the gumption of the women from Murshidabad...Fearless & Fighting even in the face of the ultimate violence against a woman



TUMAINI's picture

Extremely Powreful Piece of Writing

Hi there, i was really touched by your writing and it was indeed very moving. You highlighted many things that will seek to apply in my own life and they are:

You are right, i for one certainly take the easier & less commanding option in life. I have done it so often that when i do take the commanding position people are amazed and taken aback and chose not to think that i am the same person. I blame myself when this happens because i have taught them to have this attitude, i have taught them not to expect much from me. Im simply passive at times, and i am angry at myslef that i have often chosen this option and I chose to change this about me. For when i CHOOSEto be passive in life I sacrifice my true self.

You have taught me it is not necessary to do something grand either. One small thing that I do just for ME is one step towards myself.

I will PRINT these words as a reminder to myself that i will no longer be passive but will CHOSE to be a perosn who actively participates in life with ACTION.

Thank You :o)

I showed this to them earlier and they loved it a lot and said they are glad someone said these things so clearly and powerfully. It is so true, too! That we let our worries about it override our actually doing it. One small thing at a time and we can build up our life to what we want it to be. It is why I love the idea of empowering woman like this since it will give us all the confidence and courage to just put one foot in front of the other and start to make our dreams come true.

thanks for such a beautiful and powerful article!


akhtarjournalism's picture

The heart wells

I am deeply touched by your comments Maria & Tumaini. I thank you for taking the time to read what I wrote & leave comments. This is truly heartening. Bless you

Katie McDonald's picture

Thank you

Hello akhtarjournalism,

Thanks for sharing your vision and reminding us of the importance of small steps.

Best wishes,


jataia's picture

I hear you!

I was very happy to read that you are also out there on a path of awareness.
The power of the mind, the heart and love with focus and intent is what I help create awareness of for the change and healing of the people on this planet.
Thank you for also speaking your truth.
In love and light always

Brige's picture

VOF - Week 4

Waouw thank you, I like the way you think about women' necessary search for autonomy, it is so important for our development, find our places of excellence! Brigitte

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