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Food that liberates

A few days ago whilst thinking about how much my body had changed over the past years. I had put on so much weight and that was affecting my confidence, work and studies. In simple terms it was just wrecking my life and relationships. Whilst I was sitting in my bedroom trying to read another book that will finally spark the switch in my mind then there the holy spirit revealed to me about how much wrong food I have been eating, so many cups of chai tea (amounted to so many tea spoons of sugar) and my then habit of eating whatever I was offered all because I was always trying to be kind and off course I had fallen in love with "food". Then I started to realize just how much society has made it easy for us to be unhealthy and please don't get it wrong, it does not only amount to weight gain but also fatigue, confusion, low self esteem the list goes on. So, I have been on a journey of what I will like to call conscious eating only feeding myself in a loving way. I am sure it is different from person to person however I will like to encourage you to join me because the saying its true we can't begin to love our children, friends and others until we begin to love ourselves. May we be always honest with ourselves at all times especially if you know that you have been called to be a vessel to empower, educate and help others.

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Susan K.A.'s picture

Thank you for reminder...

Dear PrincessZar,
Thank you for the reminder to be kind and gentle with ourselves and listen to our bodies. It feels so good to take care of ourselves and you're so right that we can only love others to the extent that we love and care for ourselves.

I just finished reading an excellent book called "Women, Food, and God" by Geneen Roth that addresses our relationship with food. She leads retreats to help women find their way back to trusting our bodies, and truly loving ourselves. The author herself gained and lost more than 1,000 pounds since adolescence. This is from the epilogue:

"It is the last morning of the retreat. The eighty women who wanted to wrap duct tape around my mouth six days ago are now wishing they could camp out in the meditation hall until the next retreat. A Chicago woman says, "I wanted to kill you in those eating meditations; every time you told me to put my fork down and notice if I was hungry, I thought, 'I'm bigger than her; one little snap of her neck and I'd be able to eat my damn pancakes in peace.' Now I'd like to live with you forever. Would Matt mind?"
I don't take it personally. I know the change in the group is not because of anything I've done, but because of what they've seen, felt, experienced: there's nothing like realizing you don't like the food you've been bingeing on for thirty years. Or tasting a strawberry for the first time in your life. Or understanding that your pain won't kill you. That you are more than your stories, more than your personality, and that no situation is unworkable, ever.
But there is also fear in the room. Once you discover joy, you always want it. Once you discover freedom, you want to capture it, never let it go. And so I take this last morning to speak about the basic message of the work: it's not about food or feelings, but it's also not about any particular state. Hatred is as welcome as happiness. Loneliness is as intriguing as ecstasy. Big openings are sometimes followed by big closings, but as long as you are as curious about your disappointment as you are thrilled about your joy, you will not need to use food as a drug. Obsession is an unexpected path because it relentlessly points you back to yourself; whenever you want to eat when you are not hungry or don't want to stop when you've had enough, you know something is occurring that needs your kindness and attention."

THere is soooo much wisdom in this book and she tells is with such compassion and understanding. I have spent many nights not knowing how to stop breaking off another piece of chocolate until I feel terrible and can't get to sleep. I'm learning to see this as an invitation for self-inquiry. What's going on? What am I needing (that I'm hoping one more piece of dark chocolate can fulfill?)

Anyway, PrincessZar, I appreciate your post and want you to know that I'm on this journey with you!

With love,
Susan

______________________________________________________________________________

"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being."
-Hafiz

PrincessZar's picture

Thank you!

Dear Susan

Wow! Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for sharing your thoughts around it. Most importantly for being in this journey too. I also own and have read the book however maybe at that time I was just too distracted to get the message behind.

Yes! You are so right, whenever we are feeling hungry or craving a specific thing like chocolate or sex, we also need to check what are we really hungry for. I must say that I am finding it difficult to spend time in silence with God in the mornings and have come to discover that maybe thats my real hunger.

However, I must say that the beauty of life is in the little discoveries and embracing change whenever she knocks at our doors.

Blessings Zandi

Keep your fire burning!

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