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Struggles of a Nigerian woman in our Contemporary days

In my country, Nigeria, men live in a world of mastery, a world where men can have as many wives as they desire and yet the society honours them as real men, a world where wives are expected to do all it takes to keep their husbands as it is believed that if you don't care for your man, another woman could steal his heart. This is the type of world that women in Nigeria have to contend with.
We are faced with the responsibility as women to take good care of our husbands, to pamper them , to do all it takes for us to keep them most especially since we are not ready to live with the stigma that divorcees and unmarried ladies daily face in our communities. This we have lived with over the years and it is no longer strange to us knowing we live in a man's world but these days there is an additional burden on women that is killing.
In our communities these days, most women have been saddled with another responsibility of providing sustainance for their families. An informal interview with about one hundred and twenty two women revealed that the women have become the bread winners of our homes. Women provide the food for the family, pay their childrens school fees, cloth the family( including their husbands), provide shelter, cook the food (after providing it), wash his cloths (after buying them for him), clean the house(after providing the house rent) and lay his bed(in readiness to give her body).
The prevailing poverty condition of the country is also contributing emmersely to the struggles of the woman in our days, Mrs Adeoti while narrating her ordeal said her husband is an engineering graduate but couldn't get a job for 10years hence she was left with the responsibility of carrying the responsibility of the home. she is a teacher. Responding to the question on why the man could not find a small business to embark on, she complained of capital to start.
Friends, what bothers me mostly in all this is that, women can take up the responsibilities of men in the home but men cannot take up the responsibilities of women such as cleaning the house, cooking and caring for children. We see it has a taboo in my country when you see men doing house chores. At the rate we are going, marriage is becoming unattractive to the younger women since they see it has a big burden on them.
If you had an opportunity of choosing your sex and Nationality in another world, would you choose to be a Nigerian woman?

Comments

Ashtianna's picture

Very interesting dynamic

Hello Funke,
That is very interesting to hear of the responsibilities expected of women in your country. I am from the United States and I remember learning in school that with more and more families in the U.S. having two working parents women still tend to carry the majority of the household and childrearing tasks. I do agree that women are being overworked and are under appreciated. I am curious how you and other women in your family and friend circle feel about getting married? Do you think there will be shift where less women in Nigeria will get married in the future to avoid taking on such heavy responsibility loads? How do you think such a shift will change your culture?

Thank you for sharing your perspective,
Ashley

Think big, dream big, believe big, and the results will be big!

Dear Ashley,

Glad to read your reaction. In an attempt to answer your question, i don't think there would ever be a shift where less women in Nigeria will get married at least in the nearest future because there are still great cultural barriers to single lifes especially for women. i am sure no woman would wish to face the stigmatization of not getting married. Though if some could dare make a decision such as that, it would result in better gender equity as time goes on and probably change our culture in the aspect of the man owning the children.

Thanks
Funke

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