Overcoming my insecurities.
Renee is one of the best make up artist in TnT, I gave her a hard time but she did magic. You see, I grew up with many insecurities, taking pictures and accepting when others said "you are beautiful" were two of those insecurities.
To me pictures reminded me of the fact that ugliness happened to me. The two scars on my face, one over my eye and one on my lower lip are testament to that fact.
Overcoming those insecurities to love myself has been challenging and a long journey. One of the problems which many persons have is the hiding of their pain. I masked my pain for years, I have pretended that all was well when in fact I was broken, sad, and weak.
I pretended to accept love when in truth I rejected it. I looked happy when off a truth I was depressed, alone, and sinking. I would be literally hungry while pretending to be fed. I would be completely broke while shouting "I have enough"
Have I totally overcome? Nah! Certainly not. There are days when I have to push through the darkness and pain, there are days when I have to manage those emotions and there are days when I just literally breakdown and cry asking "why me, why me father?"
Learning to be true to self, learning to open up and share yourself is a matter of putting your life on the table of scrutiny to heal yourself, help others and to be criticised by others. Sharing is always better than holding in the pain. Sharing is empowerment of self. If there is no shame in me then why should I feel ashamed or allow others to keep me in shame?
Love who you are and strive for healing and excellence.