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The Lost Connection

Not long ago, it is the memory of my childhood. We used to live in a small community area, which was not very elite. there were small houses,connected very close to one another, just like the people, living in them. When i was Four years old, i used to see my parents, alongwith many people in my neighbourhood, at the end of every month, used to wait for a man , named, JAN BABA KHAN.
Jan Baba Khan was a celebrity for me.I used to believe , that Jan Baba was a very famous person, and since he is a very busy man, so, he only gets free time to meet all of us, on the days , i mentioned earlier.

Jan Baba , also , used to bring with him, an envelope for everyone, which, i used to believe, as gift money from him, or his autograph signed post card for everyone. But there was one question, which always used to ticker in my mind, like a Pop-up ad, on advertisement nowadays.

That question was: "On receiving envelopes from Jan Baba, why does some people used to Cry, or get tensed, while some celebrate, for some, the envelope used to bring smile on their face . and why do everybody used to share it with Jan Baba? Though he was famous , but still a stranger. then why share with him?. Who was Jan Baba Actually? ".

When i grew up, and turned eight, i came to know that, Jan Baba ,was, actually not a celebrity.Jan Baba Khan was a POST MAN of our area. Well, the biggest troublesome Question of my childhood had been answered by time .

Now, another question posessed my thoughts. " Howcome, everyone was So connected to Jan Baba? "Well, this puzzedled question started to reveal its mystery to me also , with time.

One day, Finally, i shared my thoughts with my father and, he revealed me everything.

Jan Baba Khan , a short heighted, chubby guy,with greyish white hair ,making an eclipse on his head, behind the ears (as he was half bald), with round chubby cheeks, white, Royal Look Mustaches, underlined by a sweet, smiley curve, WAS A POST MAN.

At the end of every month, he used to come to our area, carrying Letters with him, for everyone.People used to rush to him, on listening the ring of his bicycle's bell. Jan Baba was a very kind, sweet, loving and friendly man.He also used to read out letters to the ones who could not read for themselves.Like for instance, Mrs. Saeed, our sweet, old widow neighbour, who was in her 80's and could not read and could hardly see.

She used to get letters from her son, who was in Pakistan Army. I remember , one day, Jan Baba read out the letter to Mrs. Saeed, and the next moment, she was jumping with joy. Jan baba was happy with her and was congratulating her. She went inside her house and after a while, brought a glass of Coke and a piece of cake for him. everybody from the neighbour houses also joined Mrs. Saeed in her happy moment. it was revealed later that the letter was Good News about the promotion of their son on the rank of Major, and also, that he was coming to meet her mother next weekend. everyone was very happy happy that day.

Now, today, when i recall those memories of my childhood, i consider Jan Baba , a true Hero. He used to be a part of every joy and every pain of all of us. Where his smile and way of reading, used to bring Joy, happiness and shine, in the eyes of people, there, also, his words of condolence, and his company, used to be a comfort for people.

There was peace in the past times. People were closely linked to each other's feelings. 'All for One and One for All' was the slogan used to practiced in reality.

but today, as i am typingthis article, i am realising, that we have lost that closeness, that connection of Affection. Technology has brought us far away from that bonding , which was once present and felt strongly between people.

The comfor and love in voice, sweet words , tears, smile , hug and laughter , which Jan baba used to bring with him , can no more be felt in emails.Where technology and Modernism has made us advanced and successful, there, it has made us lonely as well.

Now, on a single click of the mouse, we get our messages and News through the e-mails. But now, there is no Jan Baba, to smile with us in our happiness and cry in our pain. Now, we have lost the Connection among each other. Love, care and affection has been replaced by selfishness and individuality. Now, we are no more connected.

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Comments

Hideko N.'s picture

WOW!

I am speechless. Your write-up is well written! I liked it so much because I can totally relate to your thoughts and feelings. But it is like going against the odds because everyone is now trying to use the technology to get connected with the people around the world. Perhaps, though it may be possible for you to feel the joy and closeness also by the technology. If you like please connect with me after taking a look at the work we do via on-line community. You may find some empowerment you are looking for...The address is below I listed for you to visit.

Hideko N.
http://www.swacin.com
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/swacin
https://www.facebook.com/Swacin

robo's picture

Dear Hediko

Thanks so much for liking my article. It means a lot. I have gone through your websites. Kindly contact me on
and let me know how can i contribute . It will be a pleasure for me to work for human kind .

Regards
Rabia Mazhar

Hideko N.'s picture

Dear Rabia, it was like a

Dear Rabia, it was like a thunder, to read your piece.
How would you feel like going so odd when everyone else is going for technology? Oh Rabia, you pointed out so clearly, something is missing that technology cannot provide. Oh well, I am trying to use the tech to gain back what was lost. Visit our Global on-line community, we call it Global Eco Theatre. The first 5 min. you will hear a skit. We meet every week. Let me hear your thoughts on this?
"Exodus" http://bit.ly/1idfdu3
"What is This?" http://bit.ly/1rcDmkf

Love,
Hideko N.

robo's picture

Dear Hediko

Your appreciation is a true source of motivation for me .The point where i am talking about the connection is lost, is in the society. Yes i do agree that Internet has connected people, but, that connection is globally. The point i am focusing upon is that, Internet or Social Media Family has made us weaken our connections with the society in which we live. This Family has given birth to "Individualism" and this little , apparently innocent , but disguised maleficent child is weakening our roots and our connections with our loved ones, our family (parents, grandparents etc. ).

I am not against Internet usage, because it is through internet today that my voice is reaching out to you and many others. All i am saying is that Virtual Reality is giving rise to Virtual relations and cutting dow tha value and worth of actual human relations in the society and this is a BIG DANGER in the coming time.

robo's picture

Dear Hediko

I will also be addressing some more serious and important issues.
Remember me in your prayers

Regards

Hideko N.'s picture

I continued to like your

I continued to like your thoughts. Not because I agree, but because you help me to think in different way. Will you send me notice by email? Here is my address: contact@swacin.com Thanks.

With appreciation,
Hideko

Susan K.A.'s picture

SO true.

Dear Rabia,
I just wrote a very long comment to you, spending a lot of time and somehow it got deleted--I pressed the wrong key I guess, and "POOF!" It was gone. So, (deep breathe) I will begin again.

I LOVE your piece on so many levels (such an apt title!), and it comes at such a timely moment for me as I just quit Facebook yesterday because of this sense of lost community that you describe.

I love how you able able to paint such an evocative portrait of your small community and you tell the story so well.
It is beautiful that you begin your piece from the perspective of your four-year-old self, witnessing these seemingly miraculous powers that Jan Baba Khan has in his ability to make people laugh and cry and to bring your small community together to join in each others' joys and sorrows. It is no wonder he seemed a celebrity to you! Jan Baba reading Mrs. Saeed's letters to her obviously had a lasting impact on you--this simple act of kindness was no small thing--it changed lives, including your own. It was a powerful act of love.

Reading your piece taps into my own longing for the type of community you so eloquently describe, this sense of "all for one and one for all." I want to be proactive in creating it in my own life. I agree with you that technology, while powerful in connecting us to each other across the world, can be mis-used--it can become a pernicious distraction from building our connections with the people who surround us--our family members, friends, and neighbors. And, yes, I agree that this is tragic, and, ultimately, as you say, dangerous for our well-being.

I have felt this loss, as of late, which led me to quit Facebook yesterday. I deleted my account. I found that, rather than making me feel more "connected" and giving me a sense of community and belonging, I felt more estranged, more unhappy. Scrolling through the endless ticker of "updates" and "newsfeeds" kept me from making more meaningful connections with my loved ones. It felt hollow and unsatisfying.

We have become so enamored by our wireless devices! I got a "smart" phone a year ago and have been dismayed by how easy it is to use as a distraction, from facing my own feelings and from from being present to the richness of life that surrounds me in the PRESENT MOMENT. I see all around me this turning away from the "real" people we're actually with to staring into these little ridiculous tech devices. When this phone konks out, I'm going back to the rudimentary variety! :)

Rabia, you're tapping into something powerful and timely here, and your story-telling is rich, evocative, and moving. (I love this simile: "But there was one question, which always used to ticker in my mind, like a Pop-up ad, on advertisement nowadays") How can we help to create this type of community that you describe in our own lives? How can we regain our close connections with our friends and neighbors? Unplugging from our devices is certainly a start. I welcome any more ideas you have on how to build true community.

Thank you so much for writing this! I enjoyed it and am inspired by your words.

Much love,
Susan

______________________________________________________________________________

"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being."
-Hafiz

robo's picture

DEAR SUSAN

I truly appreciate your effort and caring concern that you took out your precious time to read my article and give your honest opinion about it. It means a lot really. I am grateful.
As far as your question is concerned that how we can regain our close connections again ? . Well , the answer from my side regarding this issue is maintaining healthy boundaries with the technology can help us in dividing out time, attention and love to our Family at home and Globally.
But this issue is open ended and leads to several answers from several brilliant minds globally. So let us together welcome awesome people around the globe with their brilliant solutions and ideas.

I thank you once again for your attention towards this issue and my article .

Best Regards

Rabia Mazhar
( Robo )

Emily Garcia's picture

Thank you for sharing!

Dear Rabia,

You are a great storyteller and in reading your post I found myself very curious about who this Jan Baba Khan was that brought such excitement from your community. I never before thought of the postman as a kind of celebrity, but I can certainly see how he was in your town. I also remember the world before email, and how it was by way of letters that we heard from our loved ones. I also remember how we knew our postman by name (though I've since forgotten his name) and how friendly he was, always stopping on his route to chat with us or our mother. Still to this day, I love getting letters in the mail and me and sisters send letters to each other often. There is something special about a handwritten note.

This is an important discussion to have and I agree with you that the technology we have access to today can be a great distraction and danger to interpersonal relationships. Like Susan, I also shut down my Facebook account a few years ago because of the unhappiness it was causing me. I have since rejoined because social media is an excellent way to keep in contact with those from afar and I am fortunate to have many friends from different parts of the world. Before email or social media, I'm not sure I would still be in contact with some friends from years ago because keeping in touch is a challenge as life moves on. But I strongly agree with you that we must be careful to not let this kind of technology keep us from forming deep relationships with those we see everyday and spend our lives with.

What you say about interpersonal connections being destroyed by selfishness and individuality is very interesting and I think it's a great point. Though I love my family (and I have a great big one that growing up was very communal, coming together for childcare, celebrations, anything and everything), I don't think I would not want to surrender my individuality or the autonomy I have gained. This may be cultural, but I can see how technology plays a role in increasing one's sense of individuality. This is a big, big discussion and brings up so many thoughts. I'd love to hear more about your thoughts on technology and how you see it linked to selfishness and individuality in your community.

Thank you again for posting this story, Rabia. I look forward to hearing more from you soon!

Warmly,
Emily

Emily Garcia
World Pulse Online Community Lead

robo's picture

I agree Emily

Dear Sister Emily
I truly with your point that it is cultural. But Culture is dynamic , ever changing and ever accepting stuff from other cultures. The culture from which i belong to is totally influenced by other cultures and due to this, family system is breaking down in my culture, which was once known for having strong family bonding. But with the passage of time, i have seen this same thing in other cultures as well. which is frightening to some extent

I have also made a Documentary on this very subject . I will soon upload the film and will share the link with you.

I truly appreciate your effort to take time from your precious schedule and read my article.
Soon i will post some more .

Looking forward for your opinion on my other articles as well.

Much Love
Robo

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