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Family Rape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Family Rape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Family rape is an issue commonly happening in our homes. We live with very close family relations who abuse our children daily and go unpunished. MOHCAM is a nongovernmental organization where we strive to educate people and raise awareness against all sort of abuses geared towards women and girls.

Most children in our community (Cameroon) are not looked upon as human beings capable of expressing their wishes and feelings. In Cameroon children are often spoken to as “do as you are told”.

Incest is a criminal act and must be punishable. If is not father, its mother, aunty or uncle, it’s a nephew or cousin. Incest is so rampant but no one talks about it. Our girls/boys are losing their virginity and abused.Some have had children out of this evil relationships and are frustrated in most communities.

Martha had come to the end of herself and felt that she should share her story with me, maybe I would know what to do.
Martha is a young girl of 16 whose father has been longing to have sex with her since she was 12.She has lived in fear and has not been able to share her story with any one.

As she told me her story I could see how desperate she was.
Her looks could tell how much she needed my help,

Tears were streaming down her face as she told me “I love my family and wouldn't want my mother to be hurt and have problems with father. But father would stop bothering me. He wants to have sex with me or stops sending me to school”. She said something that touched my heart profoundly.

There was such a sadness in her voice, I could tell she was speaking from the depth of her being. It was the cry of her heart, her frustration, her inner war of values; she wanted to be free. She is not the only one going through such trials and tribulations. There are many young girls out there like Martha and they are in a dilemma.

Martha asked me, "What should I do? What can I do?
How can I survive and keep my family?
She doesn't want to stop going to school,
Neither would she want to have sex with her father,
Or even tell mother or the police.
She loves her father and wants him to change.
She is confuse and needs your help too.

For security reason her names and identity have been changed and Martha is one of the girls in the picture. If you want to help Martha you could contact us through our email motherofhopecameroon@gmail.com or call +23733051311.

https://www.facebook.com/motherofhopecameroon

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Adahmbah's picture

Incest is punishable

Incest is punishable and can't be ignored.Many women and girls loss their virginity very young to family members.This is most at time ignored and they live in fear.

hanasazi's picture

What a terrible dilemma to be

What a terrible dilemma to be in for such a young girl! How sorrowful that this is a rampant occurrence in Cameroon. And how wonderful that you are there for children to talk to, a compassionate adult who can let them vent their frustrations and pain safely. I'm sure you have done plenty of research to try and learn the best way to handle such a situation, but a Google search turned up these resources that might help you help them. Some of the resources that are in the US only might provide good patterns for a program you can start in Cameroon. I'm sure you can contact any of them to get information and maybe even help from these organizations that will help you develop a program to help the incest victims in Cameroon to escape the abuse and begin the journey of recovery.

http://www.rainn.org/get-help/sexual-assault-and-rape-international-reso...
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/links
http://www.wcasa.org/pages/Resources-Info_Sheets-Incest-2004.php
http://www.survivingspirit.com/resources_trauma_sexabuse_incest.php
http://www.bandbacktogether.com/incest-child-sexual-abuse/ (this one appears to be very rich in resources and models)
http://www.siawso.org/ - a program based on the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step strategy
http://www.cambridgewomenscenter.org/programs/projects.html
http://www.incestresourcesinc.org/index.html
http://www.makinguplostground.com/readpost.asp?id=1 (lots of information here)
http://www.novabucks.org/otherinformation/incest/
http://www.svfreenyc.org/survivors_factsheet_37.html
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081129213635AAXS8eD
http://www.heartsandminds.org/self/links/abuseincestfamilyviolence.htm - resources that might be of most help to you are toward the bottom of the page
http://www.ithappenedtoalexa.org/
http://www.ncadv.org/resources/InternationalOrganizationResources.php
http://www.bmj.com/content/282/6260/250.1 - this is a link to a pdf with medical research on children born as a result of incest. From the #4 medical journal in the world.
http://nonviolentchoice.info/2012/03/rape-incest-treatment-prevention/
http://www.mensresourcesinternational.org/africemplate.php?page=africa-e... - Based in Nigeria with link to more African resources
http://www.d2l.org/site/c.4dICIJOkGcISE/b.6035035/k.8258/Prevent_Child_S...
http://www.stopitnow.org/
http://www.protectionproject.org/activities/international-human-rights-c... - this is more about human trafficking, but might also provide resources that can help you.
http://www.facesofsurvivors.com/images.php - a photographic art project created by a survivor who has shown the exhibit in the US and internationally. Includes a contact form so you can talk to her about the project and get suggestions for something similar to raise awareness in Cameroon.
http://www.arttherapyblog.com/sexual-abuse/benefits-for-sexually-abused-... - ART IS A POWERFUL HEALER!! This article details how and why art therapy is a worthwhile investment of resources when helping incest survivors.
http://www.heartandsoultherapy.com/incest.html - helpful discussion about how to help incest survivors
http://www.heartandsoultherapy.com/art.html - informative overview of art therapy " Art therapy is a powerful tool for accessing material buried beneath the surface. It can assist in helping us more easily identify problematic feelings, beliefs and patterns out of the normal range of awareness and provide unique solutions to dilemmas. It can also help identify parts of the self that need support, parts that require boundaries, and parts that offer guidance.

One need not know anything about art to participate, nor is a talent in art required. What is required is a willingness to experiment and play. Everything put down on paper, even a squiggle or a stick figure, gives invaluable information. All that is created provides an intimate story about your particular personal journey and will give a deeper understanding of your self and the ways out of your struggle.

While the conscious mind can trick us, the hand has direct access to the subconscious where truth and a greater understanding of the self reside. Through this process can be revealed deeply held emotions and feelings, repetitive mind battles, splits within the psyche, and lost parts requiring reintegration.

Art therapy can be a wonderful way to access and express bound feelings and energies and bring through a new feeling experience and understanding of our emotions. For example, underneath anger, when given the authentic expression it requires, will come art that is reflective of peace, rest and greater lightness."

There is much more, but I think I've given you enough homework for now! I wish you, Mother of Hope, the best of success in formulating a strategy to help child victims of incest in your country. I will be praying for you and the children you seek to help escape and recover from this terrible form of abuse.

Adahmbah's picture

Thanks Hannah

With all these resources i shall be able to combat the fight of incest in communities in Cameroon.Thank you my dear sister and keep the spirit.Thank you very much and together we shall conquer violence against women and girls.
Adah

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