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VOF Week 2 : (The Road Less Traveled)

fork_in_road.jpg

I have a lot of ideas. I wanted to challenge myself to write them down, and reach more people through them.

When I speak to people face to face, they tell me that my words are passionate and my stories are inspiring.

But, living in the North American continent these last few years, I feel surrounded by strangers. I feel no deep connection here. Ever since I left India and my birth family behind, the feminist and social justice work I do here seems to forever be lacking in some way.

I wanted to see if reaching out to the courageous women I see in the Pulse Wire community would ground me again in some way, bring me back to myself. Why do I feel like my true self is splintered into many pieces? And where does gluing myself back together again start? And when does it blend into helping communities and groups of women thrive and knit themselves strong ? And how can one exist without the other?

I have always taken the road less traveled in my life. Every time I came to a fork, as I journeyed through life, I chose. Sometimes I chose with wilful blindness, sometimes with reckless overconfidence, sometimes with sublime courage. But always it was the unfamiliar path, the one not marked on the map, the direction that no one in my family or community had taken before. And always I questioned, always I doubted my gut. Through my childhood years of unburdened happiness and paradoxical nightmare existence of sexual victimization; through my schooling at my mother's knee of the poetry and pathos in fractured, oppressive yet inspiring Indian society; through excelling in science and leaving home shores; through deep depression and chronic ill health; through abandoning the cold embrace of science for the warm hug of creating art and practicing social justice through helping women; through discovering and revelling in my queerness and full sexual self; through forgiving the man who loves me for the sins of his brothers - I have listened to many stories, yet feel too shy to tell my own.

And I always wonder, are there other stories like mine out there? And will someone want to hear what I have to say? Will it help others in some way, when it is their turn to choose at that fork?

That is why I am here.

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Comments

TUMAINI's picture

Share your sentiments

Its great reading your story....its very similar to mine and you've put it so eloquently. You may be shy but you have taken a huge step in sharing your thoughts. I want to hear your story and its because as humans we simply want to feel connected and know that we are not alone experiencing certain emotions.

Please keep on sharing your stories, because you never know who could be reading your story. They may simply be shy to respond, but they are reading your story......like I am right now.

Peace and Blessings
TUMAINI

ShukThi's picture

thank you

for your encouragement.

Soumya

pearld's picture

The Road Less Traveled

Hi Nsoumya,

Your words are very strong and I related to a lot of what you have to say, in a different context, but a lot of the same feelings. I understand how you were led to this forum. I have to share with you, although I am from the US and lived here for almost my entire life, I remember when I returned from living in Belgium for two years, I have never found the connection that I found while living in Europe and traveling to different countries. It's different here, people do not share their voices so easily like in other parts of the world. If, I were to ask someone in Brussels how they were, I expected to talk with them for at least 30 minutes sometimes or longer if they had a story. Here, we tend to just say, "fine" and that is it, the same for everyone. But, there are those of us who feel the way you do with wanting to have our voice heard, to be listened to and to listen to others. I think this is a great forum for you. You are a wonderful writer who expresses yourself well. Continue sharing your stories, there is much need for inspiration, especially right now.

Kind regards,
Theresa

ShukThi's picture

thanks

Hello Theresa or Pearld?

Thank you for reading my journal entry and leaving a comment. It took me a long while to start doing that - leaving comments, that is. It's so strange, because I am not at all shy in face-to-face settings!

It's true, one of the reasons I find it difficult to adjust to leaving India is the distance between people, in general. But I am slowly working on building a community and more connection. I think i am finally coming to realize that the best thing is probabrly for me to continue being my true self, and the rest may not matter.

love
soumya

sunita.basnet's picture

Dear nsoumya, Your words

Dear nsoumya,
Your words are inspiring. Don't feel shy to write your stories we all have the same stories. Yes, every member of world pulse will hear your story. It will also help them to inspire in their life because we all have same stories.
Keep writing.
With Love and Regards
Sunita

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

sunita.basnet's picture

Keep Writing

Dear nsoumya,
Your words are inspiring. Don't feel shy to write your stories we all have the same stories. Yes, every member of world pulse will hear your story. It will also help them to inspire in their life because we all have same stories.
Keep writing.
With Love and Regards
Sunita

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

ShukThi's picture

thanks

dear sunita

thank you for the encouragement. I look forward to getting to know you better as well.

soumya

meg.peterson's picture

Your words are passionate and

Your words are passionate and inspiring. Your writing is vivid and powerful! I hope you find a community here in North America where you can share yourself and experiences and feel that same passion reciprocated.

-Megan

Brige's picture

VOF - Week 4

Dear Soumaya,
I read you post and I feel that you have lots to say, don't ever be afraid to express yourself, many women will feel touched by your experiences which can also help them in their own lives. Thanks, Brigitte

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