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VOF Week 2: (A journey that is mine and yours)

A lady is lying on the hospital bed, screaming with the labor pain. Relatives are waiting for the “good news.” The spasm ceases, and the nurse announces that it is a baby girl. Everybody is disappointed-the excitement fades. Someone starts weeping-it’s my grandmother. She weeps because I am born. She doesn’t even hold me-a third grand daughter was the last thing she wanted.

I was told about this when I started understanding the world around me, when I was brought in terms with the fact that our society is a male-centric one and a girl child is perceived to be a burden to the family-who is supposed to be sent away to another family. Tending to her needs and investing in her education is purposeless. I could not accept this, and I never accepted it. I don’t know the source of my audacity, but I have always rebelled and have always fought to get everything equivalent to my brother (who was born after me, thank god my grand mom’s wish came true!). I had to face raised eyebrows from my folks many a times because of the kind of person I am. On my quest to prove that I am no less superior to any boy, I have worked hard. Today, when I see my parents beaming with pride over my achievements, I thank my stars.

After completing my higher secondary education, I wanted to join a college in the capital city of Kathmandu. Dad was not sure of my decision-sending a girl away for education was not ordinary then. Dad was in India to help my brother get admission in some good school in India (boys were of course allowed to stay away from the family). My deadline was approaching and my dad would not let me travel alone. Since it was very important for me to leave- I left for Kathmandu without informing dad-I had no alternative. Initially upset, my dad understood me and let me pursue my dream. Cocooned since childhood, coming to Kathmandu was a life-changing experience. Despite the challenges of coping up with the fast life here, the lonesome moments, the embarrassment for having to stay with relatives-I have loved every moment of it.

I don’t call myself a feminist but I am not oblivious to the hardships that scores of women face in the world around me. I joined World Pulse the moment I came to know about it because I felt that it is this forum that will help me advocate for issues that I strongly believe in. Words to me are the most powerful weapon and I intend to use this weapon to bring a change. I have read hundreds of sad stories of women, some original, and some fabricated. World Pulse brings to us uncensored stories, direct from the pens of women around the world. Each story at World-Pulse has inspired me to no end, and I applaud every woman for their potency and their endurance-you all stir me from within!

Comments

sunita.basnet's picture

We Shared same story

Dear Khushbu,
Being in a same country we have same story. My grandfather left my grandmother when my grandmother was pregnant so my father didn't have any sister. He was happy when I borned but after me, my four younger sister borned in search of my brother. That's why I have five siblings. Anyway we need to be patience, hard workers. Everything will be fine. we need to make our parents feel proud of ourself and we will do it and our younger generation will not be born like our situation. We need change our elders thought by doing good work.
Thanks
Sunita

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

Khushbu's picture

Re: We shared same story

Hi Sunita

Yes, it is pretty sad that our nation is joyous over the birth of a son, while a daughter is welcomed with scorn.Though my family is proud of me today, i feel terrible when i recall the story of my grandmom not ready to hold me in her arms just because i am a daughter. My parents have been supportive but i doubt how many girls are lucky like me....I hope the change comes in our society..very soon!!!

Khushbu

Khushbu Agrawal

olakitike's picture

Not Just Your Country

The problem is here too. I think the whole world may need a change, needs a change

Khushbu's picture

Yes Olakitike...the problem

Yes Olakitike...the problem is everywhere. Our country is changing...but the change is coming slowly....it will for sure happen one day, and it is upon us to change it...

Cheers

Khushbu

Khushbu Agrawal

misscarly's picture

VOF Week 2 Assignment

Dear Khushbu,

I had the honor of reading your second essay for Voice of the Future. Your writing is very clear, poignant and personal! I am glad that the Internet has enabled the words of women to reach others in different parts of the world.

Your description of the journey was like a journey itself, from devastation that a grandmother would shun a baby because she was a girl, to joy that you took a stance against the status quo and sought an education. I sense a rebellious spirit that you have used for good, and that can be very powerful! Words are indeed very powerful, not only as a weapon for fighting, but as a balm for soothing, a shoulder for comforting and a tool for change. You recognise this and have been active to use your words to work towards change.

I look forward to reading more and following your blog (which I saw on a previous post)!

with kindness,
carly diaz

Khushbu's picture

Thank you for your kind words

Hi Carly

It is so nice to read your comment..the fact that you empathize with me...I simply love World Pulse for what it has given to me.. getting to read your kind words in itself is an inspiration...

Thank you tonnes for appreciating my writing...i am learning to express myself...and i am glad i could strike a cord with you..

Cheers

Khushbu

Khushbu Agrawal

harinees's picture

Inspiring woman

Kushbu

It is women like you that inspire the many thousands of women all over the world. Thanks for sharing your story.

Overall, you have done a wonderful job of telling your personal story. As a reviewer, the only thing I would have liked to see more of in your story is your vision for the future - and how do you believe you can contribute to it further.

Harinee

Khushbu's picture

Thank you

Hi Harinee

Thank you a tons for appreciating...you are right..i have missed on some points..it is probably because i got carried away while writing my personal story.PulseWire gives us the forum like no other...all these feelings had been buried somewhere deep within...we were all looking for an outlet..You guys gave us the outlet..the assignment has been limited to 500 words...could not write everything i wanted....

I dont know how i got inspired to work for the community..it just came to me as i grew old...my dad always told us...you cannot go far unless you give something to somebody...i started volunteering for social causes when i was just a kid..i have tried to contribute to the society in every possible way....i got deeply interested in women's issues after i started working for an organization working for violence against women in politics...reading their stories...knowing their journeys was an inspiration...i did not know women suffer so much to achieve a little....i want to see a world where women are not treated the way they are because of their GENDER...i dont want to live a life like most of the mothers in my community live...i dont want to see scorn on people's face when i give birth to a baby girl...i want to bring the change...and i intend to do it through action...by proving that i am no less just because i am a girl.....

I thank you again for inspiring me to move ahead...

Cheers

Khushbu

Khushbu Agrawal

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