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How To Break Free From The Chains of Low Self - Esteem

Self-esteem building workshop @ Zengeza High Zimbabwe 2013

# 1 of 15 (b)


Love of one's self is
not just a self-esteem
boosting piece of advice.
It is the prerequisite to truly
loving others.

Last week we started with self - love 1 (a) and will continue this week with self - love 1 (b).

I place a lot of emphasis on self love because it love forms the foundation of your single, most important relationship . The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. Love of one's self is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving others. The Golden Rule tells us to "love your neighbour as you love yourself". You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others. OR better still"do unto others as you want them do unto you", Familiar with that right? Let's take a more closer look though, and you will find that at its very centre is the command to love yourself.The Mistaken Identity of Self Love: 
However there are a few myths surrounding self - love.Let's dispel some.
× Self love is not about being arrogant or egotistical.
×It is not about comparing yourself to others to determine if you are good enough.
×It is not about always putting yourself first at the expense of others.
×It is not about always getting your way.
×It is not about always winning.
×It is not about "only looking after number one".

It is about being in awe of the miracle of your existence.
It is being comfortable with who you are........comfortable with the self/body you're in.
It's about embracing you and your whole package and appreciating it just the way it is.
×It is to accept yourself as you are - the "light" parts and the "dark", the "good" and the "bad" - while knowing that the real you is above the perceived dualities of the physical realm.
×It is to be willing to receive as much as you are willing to give and do both equally.
×It is about knowing your values and your boundaries and honouring them.
× It is about teaching others how to treat you by showing them how you treat yourself.
×It is about being kind to yourself and then to others.
× It is about looking after your mind, your body and your spirit; all three.
× It is about knowing you are worth it, not because of what you have achieved or what you look like or what others think of you, but because love is your birthright no matter what.

What are some of those compliments you like to hear from others?  Take a moment to think . Whether it be that they love you, admire you, accept you just as you are, appreciate you, forgive you or anything else. write them down somewhere. Make sure to exhaust your list. You will find that what you most want to hear from others is what you most need to tell yourself. Those are called affirmations. You should now have a list of positive affirmations tailor made for you. Repeat them every day, morning and night and include them as part of your life style to always compliment yourself. You will soon enjoy a sense of self- love and inner peace that you never had before.

You Can Only Give That Which You Have: It is an obvious statement that you cannot give something that you do not possess, yet so many people desperately love others without having or giving love to themselves. It is little wonder that in time their reserves of love are exhausted and their relationships falter. To give love, you must first have love. To have love, love yourself. Only then will you be able to truly love others for the pure joy of loving them. Give the love you wish to experience to yourself and you will find all your relationships transforming in miraculous ways.

When you know and understand the truth that you are one with the One Source of All Love - that your very essence is love - then you will have discovered unconditional love for yourself and unlimited reserves for everyone and everything. You will know that to love yourself is to love the One Creator.

The Benefits of Self Love: 

*Loving yourself is a win-win for all. It provides you with an inner happiness, confidence and peace of mind that is not easily swayed by outside events and opinions.
*It enables you to make healthier choices and the best decisions across all facets of your life from your intimate relationships to your finances.
*It allows you to be very humble
*It allows you to truly rejoice in other people's good fortune rather than wondering "why, not me" or even resenting it.
*It enables you to be more genuinely loving towards others and to be of greater service to the world at large. Ultimately, the more you love yourself, the more everything and everyone you encounter benefits.


"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection"

Self-love is not selfish or egotistical

In a nutshell,Self -love is a prerequisite to loving others.
Your relationships are only as strong as the foundation you lay for your self own self- love. So do try to release any belief you may hold that loving yourself is selfish or egotistical.
Replace it with the truth that your very essence is love.
Replace self-hate and self-sabotage with self - love.
That unconditional self love is your birthright. When you know that you are one with the One Source of All Love, that you are connected to every thing and every one, you will know that you cannot possibly experience true love without first loving yourself. You will have discovered the truth that self love truly is the greatest love of all.
That nature even bordered to make you one-of-a-kind is simply priceless.

To be cont' Next week.
Meanwhile you can email me at for questions or feedback or speaking engagements.
Get my books at Amazon and Barnes and nobles .com
And hey! forget to invite family and friends to join us on this great empowerment journey.

Author Bio
Marie-claire Nabila Kuja is the Founder and CEO of False Labels Global Inc. and author of the bestselling False Label Series.Not long ago she heeded to her calling and began to use her gift as an author/inspirational/motivational & transformational speaker to do the work God called her to do. She is a passionate speaker in numerous panels and workshops, primarily those devoted to the enhancement of self esteem of young girls and women throughout the world. Her passion is to inspire, empower, encourage and motivate others to overcome any strongholds that have held them back for so long. She respects and embraces her calling as a true gift from God and is ready and willing to spread her wings throughout the world . She's a nurse and mother.From Cameroon and lives in New York.


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