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“VOF Week 2 (Bruised But Standing Tall)”

Life as the saying goes “is not a bed of roses” but for some I would say it differently.
I grew up lonely and independent, never had toys and did not have an elder brother or sister to look up to but had to learn from my own mistakes. My Mum was a single parent, while my father has another family, he pays us visits from time to time and supports us (my mum, and i) with feeding money and educational requirements.

Life as a teenager was one I never which to experience again, there was no one to talk to me about the changes that take place in a woman, career and sex. I had to learn the hard way which is from my experiences, my mum is the most eldest of her parents (known as Ada, culture demands she must shoulder the responsibilities of her siblings in her family), a caterer by profession who has to cater for her younger ones education and well being. The responsibilities on my mum were more than she could shoulder and things became very rough for us which led to families deserting us to our fate.

At the age of eighteen after my senior secondary school examination, I was abused by a man friend of my mum but could not disclose it to her because I was afraid he won’t be supporting us financially anymore as it may lead to a break up in their relationship. Hence, i kept avoiding being alone with him, refused going to his house. Thereafter, through my first relationship I became pregnant and had a baby girl at the age of twenty. When my baby was a year old I left her with her Dad’s mum in search of a greener pasture, but that road was even rougher. Hanging around with one friend or the other led me to my fiancé who was God sent at that time of my life and is still the best thing that has happened to me.

His first words to me was “Ib you are educated and you have a brighter future” you could go beyond this level especially if you are determined, reconcile with your father and let him know you want to go back to school. My father felt nothing good can come out of me.

After spending 2001 to 2004 on the streets, my fiancé’s supported me in 2005, I applied and got admission in Rivers State Polytechnic, Bori to study Business Administration and Management which after three years has made me an holder of Ordinary National Diploma Certificate.

Being a part of Voices of Our Future is a dream come true, the opportunity to Speak Out for the women of my community and globally is more than I can ask for and with the yearn I have for more knowledge which Voices of Our Future offers, will enable me to impact more knowledge to the mothers/leaders of tomorrow.

Comments

LauraB's picture

You've touched me

IB,
I read your story, hear your voice, and stand with you in your growing power. Today I spoke with a friend about our journeys, relationships, businesses, education and dreams. She has been to Kenya 3 times and I listened mesmerized. I am listening to voices that are half way around the world on the continent of Africa and you are one of those beautiful songs that I am hearing. One of my dreams is to come to your vast, huge continent someday. I don't know how or when, but I want to come to your continent and touch my feet there.

I will continue to listen to you throughout the VOF. Your story is strong and getting stronger. I am so happy that you found someone to share your life with. I found a partner 7 years ago who I describe as the best thing that ever happened to me. This is my own personal great blessing. He sees the real me and wants for that part to shine bright- what a gift. This is true for your finance as well, yes?

It's a pleasure to hear you and know you.

Love,
laura

IB's picture

so many stories are yet to be heard

Hello Laura,

There many stories that are yet to be heard and somany live and die with
there stories been unheard not even their family or friends heard their stories.

Yes My fiance' sees the real me and He is the force that pushes me forward
whenever i face challenges and would want to relent.

It's my pleasure to speak out for the women i work with and i will take your advice
to comment on other VOF journals.

Thank You.
Cheers

Ib

olakitike's picture

Kudos to you

I am happy for you, your chance to be educated is such a great opportunity. Keep moving

jadefrank's picture

Knowledge is power!

Hi IB,

Thank you for sharing your very personal story. You have overcome so many hardships to make it where you are today and you are truly an inspiration! I feel honored to read your story and know you here on PulseWire. I wish you the best in the Voices of Our Future program. I think that if you continue writing from the heart in such a truthful and thoughtful manner, your writing can reach many and take you places you never dreamed of!

Warm regards,
Jade

IB's picture

Road Blocks

Hardships are what i call road blocks and i have learnt that if you know how to go round
that road block there is a way through that leads to your dreams.

Thank you for your encouraging words, please keep reading my journals and do not hesitiate
to comment where you find i am wrong.

Cheers

IB.

LauraB's picture

IB, When you speak out for

IB,

When you speak out for others, your voice grows stronger. You clearly know this and express this. I wonder what types of things you would say on behalf of the women you know? Giving details and vivid descriptions brings the VOF journal entries alive. I always love hear stories that completely draw me in.

It's a great pleasure to be your VOF listener this week. I hear excitement and gratefulness in your writing. You have found a home here at PulseWire. The more you read and comment on other VOF journals, the stronger your voice will become strengthening your leadership qualities.

Great to listen to your story and how you have overcome so much, so early. You are on a wonderful path!

Warm wishes,

Laura

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