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WHAT ABOUT WOMEN WITH UNCOMELY ATTITUDES? - ‘Domestic Abused Men’

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I wish to start up my own point of discussion here with an objective and rational view.
We always focus on domestic violence being perpetuated by men, our hubbies’ extramarital affairs and other negative aspects associated with our male folk.

To be candid and just in expression there are equally women who engage in husband battering, promiscuity and other vices when their husbands or partners happen to be gentlemen.

Biblically it is written in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3 – ‘But I will have you know that that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man…’

Verses 8-9 explains further that – ‘for the man is not of the woman: but the woman is of the man’.
‘Neither was the man created for the woman: but the woman created for the man…’

Oh! How I love this interjection in verses 11 -12 –‘Nevertheless neither there is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man in the Lord’.
‘For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things for God’.

This scripture enable us women to understand we need to respect our men and don’t usurp power but then the respect should be mutual for we both need each other. This boils down to gender equality for both sexes need to correlate for the betterment of our society.

What are your personal views as regards to sisters who are unruly and indulge in husband battering?
As an insight of this subject it is my wish to crave your indulgence about this group – Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women (DAHMW)

SERVING VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women (DAHMW) provides intervention and support services to victims of domestic abuse. We are a unique organization in that we specialize in offering support and services to male victims of spousal and intimate partner violence. However, our services are not limited to abused men; we also offer support and services to women in abusive relationships.

The topic of male victims and female perpetrators of domestic violence has been the controversial focus of debate for over two decades. Some say that men cannot be victims of female violence because men are more domineering as well as bigger and stronger than women. To understand how men can be victims, please visit our resource page and click on DAHMW brochures and literature.

HELPING MEN AND WOMEN IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

DAHMW was founded in October 2000. Since that time we have had thousands of calls come into the helpline from Maine and around the country.
We collaborate with a number of the established women’s domestic violence shelters in the country that also understand that the human capacity for family violence is not limited or dictated by gender. DAHMW offers support and practical services to victims, to the best of our ability given our limited financial resources.

Our trained volunteer advocates (90% of which are women) cover our toll free abuse helpline in shifts throughout the day and night. They take calls from victims, their family members and friends who are concerned about them, as well as social services agencies looking for referrals and supportive services for their male clients. 100% of our volunteers (and staff) are compassionate, caring people who want to make a difference in the lives of victims of domestic violence.

Comments

Hi Enie

i think i understand your point. i know that there are women who abuse men, even if it is not physically. i also know of men who abuse women. however, i would say that, only 1 out of 5 abusive relationships that you will find that a woman is the perpetrator.

i think, it was good that you mentioned the bible in your post, because i believe this is one reason why men abuse women. most men, because are said to be heads of women, take that as an excuse to abuse women. in that, they do not really care what women think. they think they have all the power, and should make all the decisions. whether women like the decision or not, they should agree to the decisions. that is why in the house, if a child asks for something from the mother, there is a high chance that the mother will ask for the child to go to "daddy" first. but if a child went straight to "daddy", "momy" will only come to know once the child has already gotten what he / she wanted.

one more think is the culture. because women are culturaly supposed to be soft, they cannot talk back to men. if a man says, you should do. happy or not happy.

still at the issue of culture. i believe there are men that are abused by their women. but because of the cultural believe that men do not cry, we will not find a lot of men talking about their abuse. they can be laughed at by others. "how can a man complain that he was beaten by a woman?"

feminist is fun!

ENIE NDOH CECILE's picture

You're Absolutely Right

Hi Justina,

You know in life we always try to justify our actions. In doing so we stick to certain comments that are in our favour and kind of ignore what is not.

This aspect is predominant in the biblical setting. We always transcribe and interpret the scripture coining it to suit or perverse deeds. Like the man and women stuff another example is the portion where parents stress on their children the scriptural message of 'Children respect your father and mother so that your days may be long on earth' but then they ignore the section where the message states 'parents do not provoke your children and push them to wrath.' This equally means as much as children are to respect their parents, parents also need to respect their children too. Respect in the Bible should be reciprocal.

As rightly stated men will hardly openly profess their domestic abuse especailly in Africa, but i guess the reason of this organisation set up to give them the opportunity to speak out.

I read several stories of women killing their husbands. Like a case where a woman in Nigeria used a cudgel to kill her husband, claiming he had AIDS and he disregarded their agreement by insisting to make love to her without a condom.

Another is a recent case in England where a woman bit off her boyfriends tongue and spat it on the floor during what is suppose to be an intimate kiss.

i love investigative stories and always watch a program in the US on Forensic Files, and thers was an interesting case of a woman who shot and killed her husband on the head. She claimed it was due to self defense since her husband always drink and abuse her, so this time she decided she had enough. But with investigations and post mortem conducted on her husband, it was discovered at the time of his death; the husband had no trace of alcohol nor drug in his system as the wife testified. it was just cold blood murder.

Thanks for your comments

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