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Dreams Turning...

Today, I had my fourth write up published in the newspaper where I work as a freelancer. Which newspaper you ask? It is Bangladesh's largest circulating English daily -The Daily Star.

I know I was a bit cliche'd just now but I couldn't help it. It's not everyday that someone gets to work in a country's one of the most largest newspapers. Especially when you are a girl, like me. I've said it regularly for the past couple of years and I will say it again: I want to be a journalist. I want to work alongside my idols, Anderson Cooper and Christiane Amanpour. I'm taking my fumbling baby steps towards that dream but at least it is something. Each day I read the newspapers, and I learn about new people who had their dreams shattered because of reasons outrageously horrendous to something shockingly trivial. Some of them having their fair share of mystery surrounding them.

Today after a very long time, when I showed my parents, family, friends and teachers of mine my published work I could see the pride that they took in me and my write up. That said that he loved it. Very much. It gave ME pride that I was able to make the people dearest to me appreciate the work that I'm doing. A lot of people don't get that easily.

Over the years as I was growing up I had people constantly comparing me with my elder sister, asking me when am i going to start 'becoming' more like her. I hated it then. Many still do. I still hate it now. Being compared between siblings and friends is the worst thing that can happen to a growing child. It is never good for a child's mental health. This comparison has managed to crumble me down in many ways. The other part is being bullied by my classmates. If constant comparison is bad, than this is dangerous. I am not going to elaborate on what I went through because it is still painful and it still stings and angers me when I think about it. Going through all this over the years as I was growing I guess instilled the immense desire to 'prove' to people that I am not a hopeless little kid who they can keep pushing and saying this at. I am very arrogant in that way. But on another point of view, going through all this has also put the desire in me to talk about a lot of issues and fight for them which other wise would have been kept under wraps. I have had people trying to shape into something that I'm not. They have tried to make me a shadow of themselves.

So, when I tell people that I want to work along side my idols Anderson Cooper and Christiane Amanpour, I'm not lying. Every single atom in my body screams for the opportunity. I get inspired by everything that these two people went through and how they overcame all that had been put in front of them to be where they are. I know that one day, inshallah, I will get there. I've survived this long, so I can survive longer. I'm sure I'm being arrogant right now but I wait for the day when I will have achieved my dream and when I do, I would look at everyone who ever questioned me and doubted me and look them in the eye to show them who I have made myself into. And if they ever ask again why I want to be journalist and why I wanna work with those two people, I will be ready with my answer.

Comments

Emily Garcia's picture

You are an inspiration!

Dearest Raisa,

Thank you for for sharing this story, and congratulations on your accomplishments! I do not find you arrogant at all. On the contrary I see many positive qualities in you that I admire. You are strong, determined, and confident. I don't think believing in yourself makes you arrogant. I think it makes you the best person you can be. When you doubt yourself all the time and have low confidence, you take the easy road because you fear drawing negative attention to yourself, and you don't speak up when you see injustice. You, on the other hand, are speaking up, following your dreams though the road has been difficult, and making the world a better place in the process. When you are yourself, you can give of yourself your greatest gifts. I am so happy you're sharing with the world your talent for reporting. I'd love to see some of the articles you've written.

Thank you again for your honest blog post here and for being a part of the World Pulse community!

Warmest wishes,
Emily

Emily Garcia
World Pulse Online Community Lead

Raisa Ashraf's picture

Dear Emily, I am glad and

Dear Emily,

I am glad and honoured by the fact that you've loved my journal. :) And I'm actually really glad that you notice such qualities in me. However, unlike you, I actually wouldn't associate those qualities with me at all. There are, umm, a lot of things that I haven't talked about in the journal. Heck, there are some things I haven't talked about AT ALL with people. When I remember those things I am saddened, I am angered, I am frustrated at the world, and sometimes even weakened and embarrassed. So, when I mentioned that I was being arrogant, I meant it. There have been times when I have tried taking the easy road because I was too scared and low on confidence. These have been overly costly for me in more times than I can count. But I guess, these are now, even though belatedly, are acting as the fuel to the things I wish to accomplish in my life.

On a more positive note, :) since you have said that you would like to read my work, your wish has been granted! :D I have attached the links to my write ups to my profile here in Word Pulse, and you can read through them when ever you have time. :D And please do remember to tell me what you thought about my writing skill!!! :P I would Love to know. :D

Yours Truly,

Raisa Ashraf

Emily Garcia's picture

Hi Raisa! Thanks for the

Hi Raisa!

Thanks for the reply and I apologize for my delay in responding. Yes, I too can relate to having low confidence and taking the easy road. And I've had my share of moments I'm certainly not proud of. I like how you say, though, that those low times are now "acting as the fuel to the things [you] wish to accomplish in [your] life." I try to keep learning from my mistakes and use those mistakes as fuel to keep me striving to be better.

I will check out the links you added to your profile. Thanks again for writing back! =D

All the best,
Emily

Emily Garcia
World Pulse Online Community Lead

Raisa Ashraf's picture

I should thank you! :P Its

I should thank you! :P Its not a problem for the late reply by the way :) I was a bit too busy anyways to be actually waiting for it. :P

Anyways, dnt forget to let me know about what u think abt my published work! :D

Yours Truly,

Raisa

Keating's picture

You Go For It Girl

Dear Emily ..

Your story is inspiring !! Keep on keeping on .. Bullies- Hmmm ... I understand.

All power to you girl.

With love and respect to you

Robby

Edka's picture

Thanks so much

dear Raisa - for the this thrilling story! Like Emily, I'm going to have to trace your write ups+++
I'd thought I'd read only a few lines and dash off but lines became paragraphs and before I knew it, I'd read the whole of your journal!

I dare say, despite your clarification, that you are not arrogant. You're just a fighter who's aligning yourself to a promising destiny. You'll see where your "fumbling baby steps" will take you, believe me, and when that time comes remember this: ALL that seemingly bad stuff will have worked out together for your good.

thinking of you,
Edith

Edith

Raisa Ashraf's picture

Dear Edith, Thank you so very

Dear Edith,

Thank you so very much for the complements! :D And it is actually great to know that my writing does not turn people off after a couple of lines while reading it! :P But like what I told Emily, and I don't mind repeating it again, I can be VERY arrogant sometimes. And when it comes to the 'seemingly bad stuff' working out together for my good, I really hope that it happens! :) I have my fingers crossed.

Till then, I hope to keep working for my dreams! :) :D

Yours Truly,

Raisa Ashraf.

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