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VOF Week Two: (To write about me, tougher than it seems.)

So, gals, this is where I come from: the pain of growing up without my parents, as my father died when I was two and my mother migrated to work in the US leaving me with my sweet grandparents, doing a great job that would later prove its value and working harder than any man I know, to be able to by my mother and my father all along my life. I also had the pain of making a huge mistake by marrying a horrible human being who pretended to be a man by having a penis, who raped me to have my second child and left me on my own to raise my first and third boys when I decided he would not beat them anymore; the pain of feeling left alone in a world that showed me its worst face with an inflation of ten thousand percent, no job, no money, nobody to turn to and a whole bunch of shyness in my pocket.
Now that you got an idea of what not to do, let me show you what I did to overcome all this. I studied. The first time I crossed the university hall I was so afraid, that I did not look up. Not even once. But four years later I looked up proudly with my degree on my hands. This made the difference in my life. I had the guts to begin, but I had the endurance to finish the undergraduate school.
Through the good times and the bad, I can only tell you that I have been a rebel. I did not let anyone convince me that I was losing. Not even when a shrink I casually visited told me that: “we should not make comparisons. I cannot compare your results to the ones from my daughter, who has a wonderful marriage, finished a PHD, and has raised two fine kids, because you see girl, you have made so many mistakes in your life….” He took me by surprise with that statement, and made me think about every stage of my life, feeling that I had been called a loser. But after a while I said to myself that I should be proud, because I had to work hard to raise my kids, I suffered with a bad man, I had lots of bitter times, BUT I STOOD UP, got my profession, worked hard, finished various post graduate courses, and have been very happy raising my kids, my reason for living.
So, I am a winner, I am rich in all senses, and know I have gone places his daughter will never get to know, poor her, poor him, poor are the people who are soooo defined by their circumstances. I am not what happens around me. I am me. Always. I don’t need to have the best circumstances to be me. I am who I am no matter what happens around me. And I am proud and happy to be that way.
Sisters, don’t let anyone or anything define you, and be blessed with the joy of living in the wealth that God has prepared for you.

Comments

Carole's picture

Girl you are a star

Keep shining lady. You have walked your journey and will be a light to many lost ones. Reading your story really touched me cause I have a 10 year old daughter whom I have not been able to stay with fultime as I would have desired due to the nature of my work. So she lives with my parents but am praying that God will make a way so that we get to live together. I really want to be there for her. Thank you for your encouraging statement "I don't need to have the best circumstances to be me. I am..........."

Carol

jap21's picture

Thank you Carole

Dear Carole:

I will sure do my best to keep shining! Nothing can stop me, as nothing will stop you. Get your act together, go back to your kid, peacefully, gracefully and with lots of love.

Warm regards,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

Cultural Correspondent's picture

Wait to go!!!

Jackie,

I loved your entry! How powerful it is, and how empowered you are to stand up against all adversity and go forward with your head held high, not letting anyone or anything get in the way of your life's journey.

Your circumstances don't have to to define you, and I always say "it's not that you have challenges in your life, it's how you decide to face these challenges."

Your strong will and the possibilities you saw within yourself is what led you here today.

Keep it up, Lady! We're all cheering you on!!!

With love,

Jackie

jap21's picture

Thank you Jackie

Your comments make me want to always write some more. Thanks for cheering me!

Lots of love,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

Cultural Correspondent's picture

And you will!

Keep writing. It's good for the soul ;)

With love,

Jackie

Maria de Chirikof's picture

Very Inspiring!

A very uplifting feeling from reading it! I love meeting the strong and good woman on here who share their stories to inspire the rest of us. I really love the part that you are you whether you are rich or poor monetarily at that moment in time. That kind of peace inside yourself is one I hope we all find!

Thanks for sharing your story!

Maria

jap21's picture

Thanks Maria!

It is so good to hear that talking about something that I have inside can inspire good feelings in a woman like you, full of noble thoughts and desires.

I wish the best for you. May God bless you with the peace you are searching for!

Love always,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

katea's picture

Of course

But of course, no one can kill your spirit. No one can kill a woman's spirit. :)

blessed be,
katea

Poverty is man-made that we can undo.

jap21's picture

Right on the spot Katea

Thanks for reading me, Katea.

Cheers to the young women like you, who are ready to make this world shine with the beauty of their souls!

Warm regards,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

marietta64's picture

hi

very inspiring and full of senses

jap21's picture

Thanks Marietta

I am glad you liked it. It was hard for me to write it, as I do not talk about this stuff very often.

Warm regards,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

JaniceW's picture

Inspiring

The strength of your character reveals the beauty of your spirit in using your circumstances to better your situation, not fill you with hate or despair. I am so glad you were able to see, with such clarity, the ignorance of the shrink's words and how much richer you will always be because of who you are. Because you so clearly see that you are not a sum of your circumstances but a woman who understands all the potential that lies within her.

Be proud of who you are, proud that you are a shining example to your children and an inspiration to us all. Hooray for you!

jap21's picture

Thanks Janice

I am glad you feel the same way I do. Although I don't like to talk about this, I thought It might be good for some women, specially young girls, to know that it is possible to overcome every bad step in the road. I decided it was worth it to tell them that no matter what their circumstance, they will make their dreams come true simply because THEY CAN. I see myself as equal to everyone else. Nothing special. Just the willingness to make it. I am not the first to make it, and sure I won't be the last, but let me tell you, it took a lot from me to write this post (meaning there were even tears).

Best to you,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

enDhruva's picture

wow

I got goosebumps reading your entry. I can't fathom what all of those situations in your life must have been like but I am absolutely amazed at your resilience, determination, strength, courage and love for your children. I am completely humbled and inspired by you. I love the way you have written so matter of factly about it all and yet have still managed to convey the deep feelings and the severity as well as your strength and wisdom. I so look forward to hearing more from you.

-Erin
PS: Who in the heck gave that shrink a license???????

jap21's picture

The shrink studied in Harvard!

I am really honored to have reached your heart and soul. That was the purpose of this entry. To shake it up in all my sisters. I thank God for giving me the chance to write and let you know that you also are able not only to fulfill your dreams, but most importantly, to realize that YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A DREAM. Sometimes knowing that your circumstances do not define who you are, make the difference between your failure and your success.

Thanks a lot, but,,,, Dude... I ain't so good! jajajajajaja

Lots of love to you,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

Khushbu's picture

I am moved

Your story is to be read my every young girl....it gives me a lot of inspiration...I have everything and i still complain...we should learn from you...thank you so much for sharing your story with us and letting us know that we CAN if we think WE CAN!

Cheers

Khushbu

Khushbu Agrawal

jap21's picture

Dear Khushbu: I am overjoyed

Dear Khushbu:

I am overjoyed by your reply, as my intention was exactly to get to all youngsters who still have the time NOT to make so many mistakes. Keep living and succeeding in everything you do. And tell your friends about how they really CAN.

All the best to you!

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

enDhruva's picture

One more thing..

Hi Jackie,
I failed to mention in my previous post that I am one of your listeners for the Week 2 assignment for VOF. I wondered if you could tell me how you found World Pulse/PulseWire?

Thanks!

-Erin

jap21's picture

Through a listserv

I am a member of the UNIFEM community and receive their listserv messages. I am also a member of DELNET, the Internationa Labor Organization arm for Local Development, whith whom I am completing a post graduate course on Local Development with Gender Scope.

I receive a lot of information from them.

With warm regards,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

freesuukyi's picture

Honest and Uplifting

I loved getting to read your honest account of how you've gotten to where you are now. Finding the strength to overcome such a difficult past has led you to where you are now, with a wonderful education and family. Thanks for posting!

Megan

jap21's picture

Thank you Megan

I wrote this so that women in general, but young women in particular, would realize there is no need to be seen as a 'poor thing', and they can choose to be better even if it is hard, because IT IS WORTH IT. If I can get that messagge through, I will be grateful forever.

Thanks again for reading,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

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