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Dancing Out of my Cell

This is a piece I wrote about my journey out of spousal abuse and into healing and freedom. Enjoy :) and God Bless.

Dancing Out of my Cell:

Too ashamed to tell the truth. Too alone to cry for help. Too wounded to know that I deserved to be loved and not to be hurt. Too afraid to make a change. I tried to make him understand, but my tears only made him angry. He had promised to love and cherish me, but instead there came violence and rage. I cried out to God, “please change this man,” but change never came. Before I knew what was happening, I was locked away in a prison cell of shame and fear.

The spirits of darkness were my prison guards. They lied to me everyday:

You are alone

God doesn’t love you

There is no hope

You have to stay

Too sad to eat and too terrified to sleep, I lay on my cot, waiting for death. One day a visitor came to me. The guards trembled at his voice and he silenced them with a word. He took the keys and opened my cell, but I didn’t make a move.

He sat on my cot and spoke tenderly to me:

Daughter you are free. Can’t you see that I have opened the door for you?

I shook my head, “I am too weak.”

He looked into my eyes, “but I AM strong.”

“I am too frightened.”

“I AM bigger than all your fears.”

“I am too ashamed.”

“I AM the lifter of your head.”

But I just wasn’t ready to believe him yet and he knew it. “Well, if you don’t want to leave tonight, will you at least dance with me?”

He stood and extended his hands to me and I noticed that they had been pierced. He must have seen my glance. “I hope you don’t mind that my hands are a little worn, I had a very important job to do and this was the result.” Even though I was nervous I took his hands and he lifted me to my feet. At first I just stepped side to side, but before too long he had me twirling and laughing, and for a moment I had joy. I thanked him for the dance and I returned to my cot. He promised to visit again. The next day, and everyday after that, my visitor returned and we danced. “Follow my lead” he ‘d say with a smile, and I would imitate him in my cell. The more we danced, the freer I felt. I inched my way closer to the door of my cell without really noticing. Dancing with my kind visitor and new best friend made me forget all about my shame and fear. I looked forward to his visit more that I looked at my circumstances.

And before long I was dancing out of my cell. Dancing my way to joy. Dancing my way to healing. Dancing my way to freedom.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy. Psalm 30:11

Comments

Jennifer, your's is a beautiful story of total freedom because beyond becoming free from what held you bound, you found healing. I could feel the new air of liberty around you as I read the last paragraph and lines. I know you have the will power to support many others who also need to experience your dance to freedom. Keep speaking sharing and reaching out because your voice echoes positive change.

God bless you always,
Greengirl

Jennifer Faith's picture

Thank You!

Dear Greengirl,

Thank you again for the words of encouragement. I actually would have never thought of posting this here if it had not been for you. I will keep sharing and reaching out and I really appreciate your support and positivity.

God Bless!
Jennifer

hanasazi's picture

Bless both of you!

It is so encouraging just to see the two of you encouraging each other, Jennifer Faith and Greengirl! I wish I could wrap my arms around you both right now...Love and blessings to both of you!

Jennifer Faith's picture

This is what it is about

Sharing and encouraging each other is what this community is all about. Love and blessing right back at ya!

Leina's picture

Yes yes,You turned my

Yes yes,You turned my mourning into dancing,you took my shame and gave me favor,you turned my misery into a ministry,my test into a testimony.I am dancing in the blood that gives victory!! Jennifer,you are a blessing!

hanasazi's picture

What a beautiful way to give

What a beautiful way to give thanks! Beautiful Leina, thank you! May Jesus turn every test into a testimony, and every misery into a ministry. It is overcoming that gives us this kind of joy, and the joy of the Lord is our strength. May we all use this strength wisely to make a difference together. ♥

Jennifer Faith's picture

So Blessed!

Thank you Leina for the beautiful words of encouragement! We can all dance together in the freedom that is ours in the unending, overwhelming love of our great God. You are a blessing And Hanasazi you are a blessing as well. All the best to both of you!

hanasazi's picture

I just read this post again...

And just wiped fresh tears from my eyes. What got me this time was your kind visitor saying "Follow my lead." He taught you to dance with him while you were trapped, and now you continue to follow his lead in many wonderful ways now that you are free. What you say is so beautiful, so profound and true: "We can all dance together in the freedom that is ours in the unending, overwhelming love of our great God." Whom the Son set free is free indeed, and the Lord and his joy are our portion. Before we were delivered from the pain this world inflicted on us, how could we have known that life could be so beautiful?! May the joy he has given you overflow to fill every woman whose life you touch, beloved Jennifer. ♥

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