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la vie penible que je mène avec mes enfants suite aux violences de nos droits par mon mari

je suis mère de 11 naissances dont 9 sont en vie : sept filles et deux garçons. 2 autres étaient décédé.j'exerce un sevice noble"infirmière accoucheuse" depuis 1978 avant que je me suis marié; parmis ces filles il y a 5 qui ont terminés leurs études mais sans emploi notamment:
- la 1ère fille est licenciée en Sciences Commerciales Administratives et Informatique à l'Institut Supérieur Pédagogique de Bukavu en sigle ISP/BKV/RDC
- la 2e est graduée en Sciences Infirmière Accoucheuse à l'Institut Supérieur de Techniques Médicale"ISTM/BKV"
- la 3e est licenciée en Droit Public à l'Université Officielle de Bukavu "UOB/BKV
- la 4e est mécanicienne
- la 5e est D6 en Pédagogie Générale
Jusque là, elles dépendent de moi, le mariage aussi est bloqué car ici chez nous les garçons s'amusent en trompant la fille"je te mariérai" et cherche les maisons riches pour qu'on puissent l'aider en se mariant avec leur fille "le mariage par interêt" Maintenant ça devient un fardeau car chaque jour leur père provoque des querelles à mon égard sous pretexte qu'il est fatigué de vivre avec moi, j'avais mis au monde nombreuses filles, il ne voit pas l'importance de ma présence chez lui, il faudra que j'abandonne le boulot car le rendement du boulot joue beaucoup de rôle dans la famille pourtant lui ne se souci jamais de la famille, il croyait que nous menerons une vie très très difficile mais chose grave mes filles parviennent d'étudier, la seule solution est qu'il procède au divorce avec moi. ce qui m'étonne, il m'avait marié en étant deja au boulot comme infirmière accoucheuse. Il part le vendredi s'amuser avec les femmes prostituées pour rentrer le lundi soir, et déclare qu'il ne peut plus servir à manger car il est complétement fatigué de moi et mes enfants, il avait gaspillé son argent pour faire étudier ses enfants sans rien gagner. Il fait même les demarches qu'on puisse me revoquer au service, le malheur en est que la 6e fille était violée par un garçon inconnu dont jusqu'aujourd'hui les hommes juridiques n'ont pas eu le moyen de l'identifier mais par grace de Dieu, le Docteur Denis MUKWEGE l'avait pris en charge à 100% et avait accouchée entocyquement un enfant masculin de 3,300Kg en date du 18/01/2014 à l'HGR/PANZI. Vraiment je remercie le bon Dieu, le CENTRE MAMA SHUJAA qui l'a encadrée à l'internet et anglais et à travers lui on parvient de lancer nos problèmes on line, aussi l'HGR/PANZI sous l'appui de Denis MUKWEGE qui m'avait épaulé à ce lourde charge: CPN, ECHO-obstetrical, consultation Medecin et accouchement, restauration. Cette fille était en 6e entrant âgée de 17ans qui répond au nom de Betty BITONDO, qui continue à être traumatisée par l'irrésponsabilité et querelles de son père et le support de son enfant qui n'a pas un responsable. En bref, nos droits sont violés de tout côté, nous ne savons plus comment se tenir devant tous ces obstacles de la vie. Comme je suis accusé au Tribunal de Grande Instance (problème de divorce) il faudra que je cherche un avocat, pour lui payer quoi? et faire nourrir les enfants avec quoi? Que Dieu m'aide! surce, je demande une assistance.

English translation by community member bikesu

The Painful Life I Lead with My Children

I gave birth to 11 children, of which 9 of them are alive: 7 girls and 2 boys. 2 of my children passed away. I have been working as a nurse midwife since 1978. I began practicing long before I was married. 5 of my daughters have finished their studies, but they do not have have jobs so far.

-My oldest daughter got her degree in Commercial Administrative Sciences at the Superior Institute of Pedagogy.

-My second daughter graduated as a Nurse midwife at the Superior Institute of Medical Techniques

-My third got her degree in Public Law from the Official University of Bukavu,

My 4th is a mechanic,

-My 5th getting a diploma in general pedagogy

Until now, my daughters have depended on me, they have not married yet because young men here have fun by having girls think they will marry them, but in reality they do not intend to do so. They are looking for rich families to get married into, which is something we call "marriage out of interest". This is becoming a burden because their father (my husband) is fighting with me everyday because he is tired of living with me. I have given birth to many daughters, he doesn't see the importance of my presence at his house. I need to quit my job and participate more in our family life so that he doesn't doubt our family. He believes that we are living a very difficult life and the only solution is to divorce me, but the important issue is that some of my daughters are still in school. His decision to divorce me is shocking to me. He married to me when I was already working as a nurse midwife. He leaves every friday to enjoy himself with prostitutes, and comes back home on Monday, and he declared that he can no longer bring food home because he is tired of me and my children, that he has wasted his money on the education of his children without getting anything out of it himself. He has also taken steps to try to have my nursing license revoked. Unfortunately my 6th daughter have been sexually assaulted by an unknown male which authorities have been unable to identify even by now. God, with the help of Doctor Denis Mukwege, has given us a baby boy that weighs 3.3 kg on 01/18/2014. I really thank God, Maman Shujaa Center has internet and people who help us with English, and with those means we can talk online about the problems we are facing. I also thank Dr Mukwege who supported me through this difficult process. This girl is only 17 years old, in high school, her name is Betty Bitondo, and she has been traumatized by the irresponsibility and the quarreling of her father. Briefly, our rights have been violated in many different ways, we do not know how to keep fighting four ourselves any longer, against all these obstacles in our lives. As I have been called to the court for divorce, I am going to need to look for a lawyer. How will I pay the lawyer, how will I feed my children? God help me, I am looking for help.

Comments

Aurore's picture

Bonjour Kyembwa (si c'est

Bonjour Kyembwa (si c'est bien votre prénom?),

Tout d'abord, je suis impressionnée par le niveau d'études que vos filles ont atteint. Félicitations!! Vous avez du toutes beaucoup les encourager pour qu'elles choisissent des carrières si différentes et aussi intéressantes. Je suis désolée que votre 6ème fille ait du faire face à ce viol, et j'espère qu'elle et votre famille s'en remettent - avec une intervention du Dr Mukwege, elle a déjà eu droit à une aide médicale de très haute qualité...
Peut-être que cette ressource sera utile, pour elle et pour votre famille, pour l'aider à se reconstruire après cette épreuve: http://www.sosfemmes.com/violences/viol_consequences.htm

L'attitude de votre mari est déplorable; mais dites-vous que vos filles (et certainement vos fils aussi) vous ont eu comme modèle et que vous avez offert le meilleur à vos enfants.
Je vous souhaite bon courage avec votre divorce, pour vous et vos enfants.
Chaleureusement,
Aurore

Edka's picture

Votre demande d'assistance

Bonjour Kyebwa,

Ceci juste pour ajouter que concernant votre demande d'assistance, vous pouvez vous connecter au Resource Exchange sur:
http://worldpulse.com/pulsewire/exchange

Aussi le site Kiva pourrait vous aider.

Bon courage pour tout.
amitiés,

Edith Kalanzi

bikesu's picture

Translation

The Painful Life I Lead with My Children

I gave birth to 11 children, of which 9 of them are alive: 7 girls and 2 boys. 2 of my children passed away. I have been working as a nurse midwife since 1978. I began practicing long before I was married. 5 of my daughters have finished their studies, but they do not have have jobs so far.

-My oldest daughter got her degree in Commercial Administrative Sciences at the Superior Institute of Pedagogy.

-My second daughter graduated as a Nurse midwife at the Superior Institute of Medical Techniques

-My third got her degree in Public Law from the Official University of Bukavu,

My 4th is a mechanic,

-My 5th getting a diploma in general pedagogy

Until now, my daughters have depended on me, they have not married yet because young men here have fun by having girls think they will marry them, but in reality they do not intend to do so. They are looking for rich families to get married into, which is something we call "marriage out of interest". This is becoming a burden because their father (my husband) is fighting with me everyday because he is tired of living with me. I have given birth to many daughters, he doesn't see the importance of my presence at his house. I need to quit my job and participate more in our family life so that he doesn't doubt our family. He believes that we are living a very difficult life and the only solution is to divorce me, but the important issue is that some of my daughters are still in school. His decision to divorce me is shocking to me. He married to me when I was already working as a nurse midwife. He leaves every friday to enjoy himself with prostitutes, and comes back home on Monday, and he declared that he can no longer bring food home because he is tired of me and my children, that he has wasted his money on the education of his children without getting anything out of it himself. He has also taken steps to try to have my nursing license revoked. Unfortunately my 6th daughter have been sexually assaulted by an unknown male which authorities have been unable to identify even by now. God, with the help of Doctor Denis Mukwege, has given us a baby boy that weighs 3.3 kg on 01/18/2014. I really thank God, Maman Shujaa Center has internet and people who help us with English, and with those means we can talk online about the problems we are facing. I also thank Dr Mukwege who supported me through this difficult process. This girl is only 17 years old, in high school, her name is Betty Bitondo, and she has been traumatized by the irresponsibility and the quarreling of her father. Briefly, our rights have been violated in many different ways, we do not know how to keep fighting four ourselves any longer, against all these obstacles in our lives. As I have been called to the court for divorce, I am going to need to look for a lawyer. How will I pay the lawyer, how will I feed my children? God help me, I am looking for help.

bikesu's picture

Soyez Forte

Ma soeur,

Il est clairement visible que vous êtes une femme forte et intelligent. Votre mari ne vous merite pas du tout, je vous plaire de ne pas abandonner votre boulot pour lui. Je comprends que la vie est trés difficile pour vous maintenant, et je souhaite que avec l'aide de vos soeurs à Maman Shujaa et vos connections sur internet, vous trouverez de l'aide pour votre condition difficile. Je suis juste une étudiante, et je ne peut pas faire beaucoup pour vous aider, mais j'ai traduit votre article et je souhaite que cela vous aidera un peu.

Cordialement,

Biké

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