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What Women Don't Tell Each Other is the Truth

We now know that we must prepare our wombs to gestate a child in order to have the greatest chance of producing healthy progeny. What women don't tell each other, or anyone else, is the truth. We don't talk about how hard it is to give our bodies over to another human being growing inside of us, even before conception. We fool ourselves into believing that our bodies and the rest of our lives will revert to being our own once the baby is born. Human animals take a very long time to reach independence, and some never will.

We don't tell each other how our bodies are literally ripped apart as we wait for the infant to be born. "Don't push," the doctors say, but by that time a baby has a mind of her or his own. The baby will be born because the life of the child has now taken precedence over the life and health of the mother.

How many of us ever admit to the changes in the way our husbands respond to us sexually and how we feel about our own bodies after the growing child has stretched, not only our skin, but our vaginas, anuses, and our other organs?

Do we suffer from mass amnesia, or are we simply afraid to tell the truth?

I am very happy for the relatively recent move in the United States toward having fathers attend at the births of their babies, though I know that some are afraid that it will destroy the "romance" in the relationship. If romance is still dependent on the physical beauty of one's partner, the couple aren't ready yet for the grown-up task of being parenting partners.

It is not women's work to wipe up all the blood and other bodily fluids that the human race produces. If a man can attend at a birthing by a mare, a cow, or a sow, he can certainly attend at the birth of his own progeny. Attending to one's wounded partner on the battlefield in war is a life-long bonding experience, and is considered heroic. Why should men see attending to the partner with whom they have created new life any differently?

Do men feel helpless and guilty when they watch the fruits of their passions punishing the women that they love? Sex can be sacred. The passion to reproduce one's own genetics is a basic animal instinct which, as humans we are fortunate to be able to control in ourselves. Guilt and shame are inappropriate when both the male and the female have chosen the path of parenthood. Fear is not necessary when the birth is also attended by a professional in healthcare to take care of mother and baby if all does not go smoothly.

The first thing women should look for in a potential parenting partner is patience and the ability to wait upon a woman when she is not strong. It is worth it because when a woman is back on her feet she will pay her mate back many fold for having comforted her in her infirmity.

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