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Abortion: Silent Screams

ABORTION : Silent Screams

An egg and a tadpole came together to bring me into being one stormy night. The result of sweet nothings and false promises of youth. Sweet deceit and the folly of youth. A young innocent teenage girl born into poverty and the sweet promises of a Sugar Daddy. He had met her on her way back from school one hot afternoon. Sent out from school because her school fees hadn’t been paid, where would the money have come from? Her father had been sick for as long as she could remember and her mother managed her little farm and petty trade but that was not enough to support her nine children an extended family members. Her name was Hope and she wore a torn uniform an worn sandals to school.

Her meeting this older man who soon became her Sugar Daddy was a temporary relief, a bitter sweet temptation. After all some of her friends had these older men who bought them new uniforms , nice sandals, paid their school fees and helped their families in one way or the other with money an little gifts. Sugar Daddy was kind enough to help out. He paid her school fees and gave her money and little gifts in return for payment “in kind”.

From the minute the egg and the tadpole met , I was formed and could feel. I was alive, could breath and had a heartbeat. I loved to play around my little world which was my mother’s womb and sometimes would cushion myself in her protection patiently awaiting the elapse of 9 months before making my grand entrance into the world of mortals as I fed from my mother.

She found out about my existence and panicked to Sugar Daddy. He snapped at her and throwing money at her ordered her to “take care” of herself. “You are not the first girl to get pregnant for a Sugar Daddy, you should have been more
careful !” he scolded cursing her.

Sobbing she picked up the money with shaky hands, knowing this was the end of her financial relief and help for her family. Other girls with Sugar Daddies sometimes did this when the need arose, at their advice , she had been taken to a “quack doctor” .

She quickly resorted to tablets as prescribed which would cease my existence. I had a strong will to live and even though the drugs could have destroyed me, I kept on growing. Once again she went to face the man with whom she had caused me to be. Amidst tears and pleading, she had reminded him that he was a part of the life growing inside her. Starring at her kneeling and weeping, he shook his head. According to Sugar Daddy, she was but a child and had dreams yet to be fulfilled and now wasn’t a “convenient” time to bring a child into the world. Once again he had given her money and sent her away to “take care” of herself.

Glory’s case was different she had been raped by an uncle who lived with the family. When her father had found out she was pregnant , he had beat her and threatened to disown her for bringing shame and disgrace to his family and good name. But who would have believed her if she had reported ? The few attempts Glory had made to confide in her mother about the wrong , had met with scolding and accusation on the gravity bearing false witness and lying. When the after effect of the copulation had resulted in pregnancy, her mother had secretly rushed her to the “doctor” in the next town who was known to be discreet about such “things”. It had to be kept in the family and uncle had to “travel”.

In Pride’s case, she went to face the man with whom she had caused me to be. Amidst tears and pleading, he had reminded her of the love they had shared which had made both of them one and was growing inside her. He desired to put a ring on her finger. Starring at him bent on one knee, she shook her head. She explained she had dreams yet to be fulfilled and now wasn’t a “convenient” time to bring a child into the world. Blind to his tears, she had walked away and found a doctor who with vague answers and monosyllables convinced her that I was just lumps of blood and had no life.

Lying on the cold steel table ,their hearts beating fast as they watched the doctor pick up his forceps, I begin to shiver and scream. “ I am not just a lump of blood like they claim ! I am already a child . From the day of my conception, I had life !” No one seems to hear my screams as I dodge the cold forceps trying to find me. My mother’s womb which was once my haven has now become a battle ground with me as the target and the forceps the Leviathan trying to crush me. Was being alive due to no fault of mine, my crime? Did I deserve to die because it wasn’t convenient for my selfish Sugar Daddy Father, Independent mother or respectable family to nurture me? Again I scream as I run around my battle ground. I did not beg to be conceived and now you want to destroy me.

Again I try to hide but the forceps grab my two tiny threadlike legs and in a flash, rip them from my fragile body. The pain is excruciating and I can feel it. Placing the tiny ripped pieces on the sterilized tray the forceps return and this time ripping my little arms right to the back. Oh, the agony. My heart is still beating as the forceps return. This time I am too weak to escape as it grabs my skull crushing it with ease. My remains are flushed out of my haven as I breath my last.

Hovering above , I watch their faces as some pretend not to care once again and others weep at my loss. Would my blood forever be on their hands as they have deprived me my existence ? Or would the moment just past like one wrong move ? Would they ever wonder what I would have looked like if I had been born? Today I might have been a beautiful woman, a mother or even a free spirit .

P/S - This article is no authority but strictly my opinion .

Comments

While I agree that every woman should think seriously about this decision I firmly believe it is her decision alone to make. I am the mother of 4 daughters that I truly consider blessings from the Goddess and treasure them as such, I believe I also made the right decision before I had them or was married and had an abortion. It was not an easy decision to make but I do not regret it.

I always think this is a discussion that should wait until we are truly free and equal as woman in this world because there are too many other factors to consider otherwise. But I do value the woman who believe it is important to impress what a big decision it is to other woman. It is very important that we learn to value children and raise them to be honest and strong and free. But it is hard to do that when we are still fighting for these things ourselves.

I think when men treat woman fairly and equally then these things can be truly discussed and until then it is used as a tool to divide woman and keep us separated by this one idea. I think it is important to understand this even if it is not your intention to divide woman into a us/them situation because others who express this idea do believe and want this to happen. They know that when we join together as one we are limitless and can bring about real change in the world and will try anything to keep this from happening.

That said, I do applaud your belief that it is important to be discussed and thought about.

Maria

Carole's picture

What about..........

Your article was very moving but I still have many questions. For instance what about in those cases where an innocent girl is raped an d conceives? What of those family abuses where your own father, uncle, cousin, brother or any other relative sexually molests his own blood and she gets pregnant? Some situations are very complex to give a simple answer. We live in a crazy world with so much evil.

We listen to reports every other day of young girls who have been taken advantage of, infected with STDS and even gotten pregnant in the process. What do you tell such a child? Abortion may not be the answer but what choice do you give her?

Many countries are legalising abortion. What is your view on that? I hope one day we will come up with better solutions to solve many of these difficult questions.

giftypearl.abenaab's picture

Beautiful

OOLUSS,
This is a beautiful article. i love your tour style. It's unique and great.
looknig forward to reading more juicy articles from you on.

Have a a great day.

Gifty Pearl Abenaab
Founder
Greight Foundation
www.greightfoundation.org

TUMAINI's picture

Great Writing

This is a great piece Ooluss captuted my attention from the beginning, really well put. I too can't wait to read more from you.

jaygher's picture

I Beg to Differ...

I beg to differ. While I believe Ooluss is an effective writer and raises a contentious issue that is closely linked to women's and girls lives, this is not what I would describe as a "beautiful" article.

From my perspective, this article relies upon scientific inaccuracies to evoke an emotional/fear-based response from people. This article oversimplifies an extremely complex and nuanced situation. It also reinforces harmful misrepresentations of women who obtain abortions.

It is destructive to read articles such as this one without deconstructing the messages contained within them. In that spirit, I would like to point out that the female subject in this article represents “woman as oppressor” on every level—a reality far from true for most women on this earth. This female subject is a fiction. She is presented as inhabiting a world where there is true gender equality and where she has the ability to walk through life free of oppression and violence.

Essentializing the decision-making process of whether to obtain an abortion as simply--a woman wants nothing to do with children, is only interested in “convenience,” is completely disconnected from her body, and has a man professing genuine love and promising economic support for the end of time—is an affront to reality of most women’s lives.

Worldwide, women are subordinated economically, physically, socially, and culturally. Not all women live within a context where they can negotiate intimacy free of coercion and violence. Not all women have access to resources to care for themselves and/or their families and children. Not all women have the ability to avoid sexual violation. Not all women have access to education enabling them to navigate this world on an equal playing field with men and others in positions of power. Not all women have access to healthcare, much less reproductive healthcare, to survive pregnancy and childbirth. Not all women have men in their lives that impregnate them and subsequently vow support and love from that point forward. In fact, by way of example, 19 % of women in Nigeria said that upon learning of the pregnancy their partner did not want the child, claimed he was not the father or had left them. (Guttmacher Institute)

All of this is to say, that we must talk about the issue of abortion from a reality, fact-based standpoint, not from one which castes judgment upon women for the structural inequalities that exist in society and that ignore the myriad of factors that lead women to obtain abortions.

Jay4Rights

OOLUSS's picture

Where do I start?

Hello all,

Many thanks for taking time to read this article. As I mentioned at the end of the article, this is STRICTLY MY OPINION as I am pro life. Everyone is ENTITLED to their opinion as Abortion is a very complex issue in our world today.

Thanks once again.

Ooluss

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