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WEAVING MY WORDS AND WORLD ON THE WEB

As the usual practice, I finished the last poem, late into the night and immediately, I added it to the pile of poems in a folder under my bed. In a bid to catch up with some sleep, I turned to the other side of the bed and began to think, not sleep; my sweet sleep has eluded me in the past months, life seems gloomy; as if there is no headway to success.

The last poem is my 79th poem, written and kept under my bed.

It saddened my heart each time I read through the earlier poems. The pages had turned to brown, dirty and chipping at the edge. They are called manuscripts, which ought to give me joy, wherein I had expressed my inner thoughts and expose the reality of the voiceless women around me too. Reading them produces adrenalin that releases sadness into my blood streams. The imaginary pain has now developed into silent and unanswered questions; when will my poems see the light of day? When will my thoughts, scribbled into words be read and appreciated by any audience whatsoever? When will I reap the fruits of these sleepless nights and scribbling on my cold bed?.

I am a daughter of the universe, who sprang up from a solid ‘rock’ I was a green grass turning into a brown dead grass; I am not from a well-nurtured, watered, manure or fertilized origin. I was not born with a silver spoon, but with a wooden spoon from a farmer’s loin. I grew with no support; I have no godfather and godmother, who will push me to the limelight.
Therefore, there is no publisher who will publish the works of a ‘non entity’ without a name. I have done my best at searching for publishers and the simplest response amongst the numerous replies was, how many times have you spoken on the national Television? I never replied to such mails.

A fateful day, my life changed with the introduction to a website by my husband. He came into the room panting and announced; today, I was browsing the net and I just stumbled into a website filled with women of same mindsets as you. He said its www.worldpulse.com. I do not need to write the web address down, I just turned it the other way round; the web where the pulse of the world is felt. With that I could easily remember. That night, I slept without thinking.

The following day, a life-changing day in December 2008, I visited the nearest cyber café in Festac town to ransack the web for a place where the pulse of the world is being felt. That day, my life changed. I did not join world Pulse immediately, I began to study the website as if it is a university website and I am seeking an admission, after few months I logged into the website. The day has break and the poems must see its light.

What follows is interesting, I dust my poem books and began to publish, nobody asked if my godfather was the president or how many times I have appeared on national television. Posting my poem is not even as interesting as the comments and the inbox messages praising my poems. Each comment and message became the new blood flowing in my vein, the new energy oil replenishing my wheel and the new grease on my elbow. It creates god sisters for my life.

Yes, Now, I have god-sisters.

Like the flash of lighning, writing became my pastime, an activity that I look forward to joyfully, unlike the hopelessness hanging on my past "under the bed poems". Now, it is no longer just the poems but articles about myself, my pain, my experiences about my domestic violence, my sisters, especially my ‘voiceless’ or ‘preferred to be ignored’ sisters, my community and my nation. That’s not all, I became World Pulse's eyes, ears and mouth everywhere I found myself, in less than 9 months after my initial log into World Pulse, I was selected as one of the Voices of our Future correspondents and this was followed by free citizen journalism training.

That first log in changed my whole existence, it became from glory to glory, World Pulse became a home, community and opportunity shop for myself and every woman around me, it became a place of refuge and a place of learning. I do not need any editor, before my voice is heard and it became a channel to air our voices, without inhibition or fear.

This is my fifth year on World Pulse, its my best year on earth. The community became my extended family and a home inside my bedroom, my World Pulse sister became my best sisters.

The journey became so sweet and rewarding, enjoying it alone is anemic, therefore, I made a conscious decision to introduce world Pulse to every woman who can read and write in my community. I did not stop at that, I went ahead to solicit computers from my sister, she donated 4 complete computer sets to my organization and we organized free computer training for poor women alone in 2012.

We began the free computer training but electricity became a major challenge, everyone began to buy fuel powered generator, but we could not afford that and the internet to connect the computers was unaffordable to a young organization. Theref0re we had to end the training abruptly. The computers are dusted daily, there is no electricity or internet and there are willing women, although, with my personal laptop, I continued supporting women.

There is no single library in any of the riverside communities, therefore, I began the first story book library in Nigeria!!!!!The riverside children and I ensured that it is free for all serious students and women who can read and write. Presently, I have been able to purchase 450 story books without any financial support from any funding organization and we also have some women's books donated by sisters that I met through World pulse; aside the story books that I purchased.

In addition, one of the beauty of my story today, is that a sister, that I met on World Pulse, who so much believes in me has paid for a bigger office space (2 bedroom flat) at the riverside community centre for my organization, with that I can be of much support to my people. In the next week, we will move to a very big space that has a separate room for our library.

My story is unbelievable.

Our center is the safest place for any woman to access the internet in my community because our community is notorious for online scammers especially Festac Town. I can authoritatively say this because I once operated a cyber café for my cousin in Festac town. That major challenge is that the riverside community does not have any access to electricity at all, we will still rely on fuel powered generator, even if it is for an hour each day, women will access the web, it is the only world where women weave their desired world without sweating profusely with the world of gender competition and inhibitions.

What is my world without the web? I do not want to write about that, I do not want to imagine it. With the web, I could weave a beautiful world around me and my sisters, a world, I long for, a world I desire, a world where ever voice is count and can be counted without bribe or favoritisms. The Web is our new world, where every woman is considered human; respectable and can form formidable allies.

The duty of a good government is to ensure a safer community for the citizens, Festac town is notorious for cyber crime, therefore it is unsafe for women to surf the net in the public cyber café, reducing the cost of internet will make it affordable to all and improvement in electricity supply is a must.

It is worthy of note that Nigerian youths, especially young men have very high unemployment rate which has being termed the tickling time bomb of Nigeria, entrepreneurship should be included in Nigerian university curriculum so that our youths should not only focus on escaping from Nigeria but on building themselves and becoming better employers of labour. Idle hands is not only the devil's workshop, it is also the cyber crime mode for employing idle youths. The internet could become another source of gainful legal employment, if necessary energy is channeled positively towards utilizing the available opportunities online.

Moreover, it is not enough to introduce students to computer classes alone, the Technology, Information and Education departments should collaborate with secondary and tertiary institutions to provide trainings to students on how to access international opportunities for self development. I reiterate is strongly, that, It is not enough to provide computers to schools, using it in the right way and for the right purpose should also be stressed and enforced.

I am World Pulse, World Pulse is me. Ater five fruitful years; I am still standing, speaking strongly for myself and my sisters, I am storming the World of gender inequality with full force because a wall made of sisters stand solidly behind me like Gilbrathar.

Imagine a World where all my sisters at the riverside communities can access the internet and tap into all the available positive opportunities. How beautiful would such World be??? A world where all women can drop down the Loom of words and weave on their World wide web.

This story was written for World Pulse’s Women Weave the Web Digital Action Campaign. Learn more »

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Comments

Carrie Lee's picture

Beautiful!

A wonderful story of the power of women joining together, supporting and encouraging one another...As World Pulse has taught us, this is a power that can change the world!!!

Thank you for sharing. I felt the same when I first found World Pulse.

Warmly,
Carrie

olutosin's picture

Thanks for commenting

I believe that the essence of World Pulse is connecting and transforming women. It is following that path and we are moving together; forward forever. May God bless all of us. Amen.

Thanks.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Y's picture

Synergy is a much

Synergy is a much misunderstood word, but this is the beauty of what is created with WorldPulse. Blessings to your husband for finding a way to share your many talents with the world, and blessings to you for your willingness to share them..

Y

olutosin's picture

Synergy

When created with and in love; synergy becomes another word for collaboration for sustainable development. Thanks, my husband introduced me to World Pulse. Its worthy of mentioning.

I promise to share all the talents and skills; free of charge.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Cali gal Michelle's picture

Olutosin- You have eloquently

Olutosin-
You have eloquently woven a story which I find to be true over and over within this community. Your story is a powerful one, and conveys such hope. There is power when we connect together, and can influence and change one another's life with a simple word or act. You have done so much on your part, which is also a testament to what one woman can do when she feels she is heard, and when she has such a community to lift her up.

Thank you, god-sister!

Let us Hope together-
Michelle
aka: Cali gal

Listener
Sister-Mentor
@CaliGalMichelle
facebook.com/caligalmichelle

olutosin's picture

god-sister

Thanks god-sister! Wherever we turn to in Nigeria, we are constantly asked who our god father or god mother is, political, employment or even social class. On World Pule, no one ever asked me for anything!!!!!
If I need bank statement, reference letter or monry or how well I could write to be accepted on World Pulse, where will my poems or articles be hidden today? Under my bed in my small room.

I usually share my stories to prove to sisters that we can do much more when we come together to transform our world. Yes we can.

Thanks for stopping by to read and comment.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Cali gal Michelle's picture

Your comment made me cry.

Your comment made me cry. I'd like to quote you on my other social network pages if I may. Perfect picture of what WP is.

love and blessings-

Let us Hope together-
Michelle
aka: Cali gal

Listener
Sister-Mentor
@CaliGalMichelle
facebook.com/caligalmichelle

olutosin's picture

Thanks again and again!!!

My sister, thank you for reading the comment. Nobody will believe my story except sisters like Jensine Larsen, Jade Frank, Jennifer and Jacqueline, they can literary say, we know how she started with nothing except her words.

Last week we were discussing about a young graduate in Nigeria, after paying an equivalent of about 1,500 U.S dollars bribe in order to be employed in a government institution in Nigeria, he was also asked to produce a god-father. If you ask the officials, they will say its a lie, but those who understand Nigerian issues, know what I am writing about now. Even to be accepted as a teacher in a government school in Nigeria, the candidate needs to 'water' the people concerned. Its the truth.

Sometime last month, an idiot with an online organization, sent a mail to another of our World Pulse sister, that their online organization is unlike World Pulse that accepts all women, they do not accept people who cannot edit their articles over and over again after being corrected by their website editors. I told my sister who is writing for them, to ignore them, every organization has its goal and WE WILL WORK WITH WORLD PULSE TO ACHIEVE ITS GOAL, WHILE THAT ORGANIZATION WILL REMAIN FOREVER ON THE BACK SEAT.
World Pulse is the best, it is better if other similar organizations who professed to be working for women carry grassroots women along. We the grassroots women are the majority. We are dedicated and goal getter.

Thank you for listening to us and not saying that we are 'bush women eh eh eh eh' we are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

LeanaM's picture

Power of the Internet

Thanks for sharing your journey, Olutosin. You mentioned the community center that is safe for women to get online. Would you mind adding it to the map here? https://safespaces.crowdmap.com/

That way we can make a catalog of all of the safe places for women to get online!

Thanks

olutosin's picture

I will add it

Thanks for reminding me, I will add it now.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Nusrat Ara's picture

:)))) Thank you so much for

:))))

Thank you so much for putting your beautiful story into words Olu.It is wonderful.

Sending lots of love

Nusrat

olutosin's picture

Lots of Love to you my Love!!!!

Thanks for taking out time to read it my love. Its so long :)

I hate to suppress my emotion in a community where my voice counts, unlike some places where women's are not llowed to speak but t be seen :(

Love you my sister; I do.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

ikirimat's picture

Following your journey of

Following your journey of passion in using your voice to change lives has been very captivating, somewhere i found your story talking to me. Indeed a journey worth following. From paper to weaving the web is worth sharing. Sister tosin, you can not stop to make me happy and inspired.

I love this 'Ater five fruitful years; I am still standing, speaking strongly for myself and my sisters, I am storming the World of gender inequality with full force because a wall made of sisters stand solidly behind me like Gilbrathar'

You are such a great woman.

Grace Ikirimat

"It takes the hammer of persistence to drive the nail of success."


olutosin's picture

Thanks my sister

We are one, we evolve together and we are making the great change together too.

Thanks my lovely sister.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Celine's picture

Thank you Sister Tosin for

Thank you Sister Tosin for sharing your emotions and our photo.

Hugs.
Celine

olutosin's picture

Eh eh

We are one !!!

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Sweet Sis, once again, you make me proud. your words and voice touches my emotions. I could read and read and re-read this particular piece several times without feeling exhausted or tired of reading. For it would always feel like when I am watching some of the greatest speaker at TEDx speaking. you are one and definitely should be invited by TED. And those who wants to know how many TV interviews you have participated will see you that day.

What else can I say. I am drown in emotions by your words, as I see myself in you: with no 'god' father 'god' mother but here at WP, we are one another's 'god' mothers/aunties. Here we have redefine the concept of god parents.

Thanks dear sister for sharing

Stay Blessed

Zoneziwoh

Blog: http://zofem.blogspot.com/

facebook: Zoneziwoh

twitter: @ZoFem

olutosin's picture

Thank You!!!

Love love love you my darling sister, we are godsisters to one another. That's enough for us.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Kika Sylvie Katchunga's picture

Votre articles ma sœur est

Votre articles ma sœur est magnifique, tout ce que vous dite et vrai, car et moi aussi je suis reconnaissante en vers cette Site WORLD PULSE. C’est bon ce que vous été ente de faire pour les femmes en Nigeria vraiment C’est un excellent travail. N’arrête pas ma sœur continue et courage
Je suis très heureuse d’apprendre que je suis partie de tes meilleures sœurs

sylvie

olutosin's picture

Thanks for your comment sister

I appreciate you sister.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Soumya Vilekar's picture

courageous and enthusiastic

Dear Olutosin,
To go through your story was an experience in itself . Through the living odds and through the fight for survival amidst the unlawful environment ,your efforts to create a place where the women could live a life of enlightenment for few hours and get connected to the world is phenomenal. Your interest to start a library for the nearby people ,your interest to invoke the sense of independence amongst others is highly commendable. I salute the zeal in you and your courage to stand up against all the odds and infuse life in your poems through your inner feelings and pains ,where you illuminate the heart of yourself and others with this ray of hope .
Extremely touching share !
Best wishes for all your endeavors,
Soumya

olutosin's picture

I appreciate your comment

Thank you my darling. I appreciate every words in your comment. I promise to do more.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

It's good to know that there are awesome people in this world. Women who started Library, who opened a safe cafe for women. Internet changes the world. When the world changes we also need to change. And now you had helped your community to change,to weave a web for women.Your effervescent character made and will make you a good public speaker. Each of your word touched my heart,its like a determination,which came from the heart. Your gracious behavior makes you the woman whom everyone want to. You are a great example for the everyone.
Great work....Keep going sister....We all are with you....
Love
Shilpa...

olutosin's picture

Appreciation

Thank you my Darling! I appreciate everyword. We are the change that this World desperately needs.

We are the agents and catalysts of change.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Millie Banda's picture

TO MY GOD-SISTER OLU....

You will never know what reading your posting has done for me.....right now I am overcome with alot of emotions that I must take time just to withdraw into my inner soul and find the right words that help me make positive and uplifting noise for not only my sake, but as you have shown me, for the sake of other women out there who do not have the voice...thank you Olu for sharing your story and by doing that inspired me to start telling my story again...I had stopped at some point because I was overburdened by lifes storms.....thank you for reminding me of what it means to be part of a world of websisters and yes! God-sisters!

positive millie

olutosin's picture

IT IS WELL WITH YOU MY LOVE....

All my close sisters here can testify to my secret cry, Yes, they can testify to it, that, before I came to World Pulse, and when I first joined World Pulse, I was living inside a shell. My tears were sweet, sometimes, I would be weeping and people beside me will think that I was sweating, yes, I sweat always, but in most cases, my sweat and tears always taste alike.

Come out my sister, there are thousands of sisters and WorldPulse who are awaiting your glory

All my love to you, We are one, in the spirit of Ubuntu.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Eliane L's picture

Olutosin, Thank you very much

Olutosin,
Thank you very much for your inpsiring tale. The power of the web is infinite, but often the web is inaccessible to women - due to many of the factors you list above, such as lack of access to electricity, lack of access to computers, lack of access to literacy and education. Your story shows that these don't necessarily have to be hurdles: we can bring the web to communities and connect women. Women's life experiences are extremely important, and can be a source of inspiration and action for other women and men across the world. Keep up your fantastic work, we are all here with you, working to increase the voices of women and children everywhere.

Eliane L
Burundi

olutosin's picture

Thank You so much!!!

I appreciate your patience to read such a long story and write so perfect comment.

Thanks again.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

milliej7's picture

Wow!

What a wonderfully written, personal story you have shared with us Olutosin. Thank you.
Your strength and vision come through in your writing and I was very moved by how much World Pulse has meant to you over the past 5 years. I love the fact that your husband told you about it and clearly supports your strength and our "mindset" - he heard about and the website and thought of you and your frustration.
Do you have a blog for your poems Olutosin? I would love to read some of your poems.
Jo.

olutosin's picture

Thanks darling sister

I appreciate your comments sister, thanks. Actually, I started a blog but could not maintain it because I am a woman with 16 chores and just too hands (Smiles)

If you can also go back to the begining of my log here on World Pulse, its my personal poems too.

Thanks.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

milliej7's picture

Ok great, I will do. Thanks.

Ok great, I will do. Thanks. I know what you mean about being busy!

olutosin's picture

Thanks my darling sister

I appreciate you sooooooooooo much!!!

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

olutosin's picture

Blog for writings

https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4098850795968902128#allposts
https://www.blogger.com/profile/03072917091547283252
Sister, I started this sometime ago, Smiles...

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

milliej7's picture

Thanks for sending me the

Thanks for sending me the links Olutosin, unfortunately Blogger wont let me access the page where your posts are, only your home page. I guess that's one of the down sides of technology- when it fails!!! Any ideas?

olutosin's picture

Ok, what about this?

THE PASSAGE

The mountains so glorious in beauty
Contrast to the gush of water on the seas

The sky so beautiful and blue is the best
While the leaves green as they blossom

The flowers they bear, colourful in splendour
As they manifest the works of perfect match

The sun is shining in glory with radiance
Incomparable to the snow in coolness

The fruits and crops come in their due seasons
And all the numerous animals as games for life

The architect of all creatures in His expertise
Created all these and more for our pleasure

The creation of mankind is to rule over all
And these creatures we enjoy effortlessly

But you limit my existence to an isolated world
Because you cramped me in a world of dreams

You trivialize the beauty in nature works to me
For my vision is distorted by unending tears

Tears of pain inflicted upon me by the motive
Of your secret closeness to explore my tiny body

The body you have ravaged in the presence of all
Yet nobody knows what I am passing through

Can someone cleverly cast a look at this channel?
To discover the secret agony underneath the false smiles

SUNRISE

When I cry
No one
Waved a hand

Drowning
Nobody
Lifted a finger

I stretched my hand
No one
Lifted me up

Groping in darkness
Nobody
Shine the light

In sickness
No doctor
Smiled at me

Only if I die
Everyone
Smiles at them

All because
I am
The scavenger

A name
I dread
The meaning
With a choice
I prefer
My original identity

While alone
I scribbled
My name

Another
Appellation

For me

I smiled
At their ignorance
Since I knew

My name:
Africa’s
Light

HEART

You are gigantic, so large
Yet so empty, tempting and willing

Spacious, ready to absorb
Waiting and calling out: room for all

Subtly and consistently, she calls out
Yearning for our responses

Stretching her hands to hold together
She is always welcoming even to strangers

She is praying for you to come back home
Enough time, enough love, enough resources

Be courageous, take that bold step
Match forward, in accords you conquer

Eagerly she awaits your return
Leave your hibernation, isolation.

She is warming, she is receptive
Enough of selfishness: take the leap

Are you prodigals? Are you afraid?
She pursues, she overtakes and recovers

Bringing them to herself, to her home
They all belong here, in unity we stand.

SEQUENCE
Writer, do not change my words, write in English
Marriage is an institution ordained by God, yes
It is holy solemnization, celebrated by men,
A union of soul and body of a couple
That is what they say.

It is to be enjoyed, for procreation too
My marriage is the exact opposite
Several institutions, with a man and plenty women
Unholy and enforced by my parents
United by parents endured by daughters

My uninformed consent does not even count nor sought
I feel so awkward among them; makes me cry night and day
A dirty marriage where I wash dishes daily
Fear of contracting AIDS, the beginning of wisdom,
Jealousy and rage I apply caution

My real mates learn Arithmetic and sex education
Present mates teach me sex copulation
My mates here, my grandma’s playgroup there
Their grandchildren are my mates at the civic centre
Do not belong here but left with an alternative

Learning how to please all, the best alternative
Living to be an instrument of enjoyment for old man
My life, my potentials, my future all in a dowry basket,
Or was it exchanged for a head of cow?
I was traded like a slave to papa

He was even present at my mother’s christening
My playground now is on the smelling mat
He digs into my cloth with hoe like nails.
The question is ready or not, I am here.
Married to a man nearer to the grave than the altar

Wonder at the offence that sentenced me to this agony
I live my life by the day
Plan less, purposeless, reasonless, and futureless
His daily activities are my “periods”
A culture that severed me from my future,

Relieving parents of their responsibility
Can I ever love my children?
To bring forth children when I am equally a child
They are brought forth in sadness and agony
To be trained by others, due to my incapability

I cannot differentiate between umbilical cord and radio cord
Et toi papa, et toi mama
You released me to an unknown future
Very sure of my widowhood before adulthood
Abrupt end to my childhood stage

Enduring sex, enjoying weeping
Secretly awaiting my vesico vagina fistula
Praying daily that night would not come
Dawn brings darkness into my soul
Sentenced to a life of perpetual ignorance

I can neither read nor write
Although I recognize my father in a picture
Peeping, waiting for mate to put my thoughts in letters
I dictate inner feelings could not wait in Dictation class
Looking for a writer at my age to dictate my intents

A child should be a child all over the world.
I was made to jump two steps at a time
You expose me to things I could not comprehend
My duties exchanged for parental responsibilities
Your burden became mine to carry at this tender age.

I know there is a government,
Even if it is a management one
I have a sister now she is twelve years old
Parents are running out of patience
Basket of dowry or head of cow
No breast, no menstruation, no developmental growth

All these and more will meet at the old papa’s house
To be traded for a dowry without her consent
The boys belong to the state during the war
To be recruited against their wish, is it only during the war?
Don’t girls belong to the state?

Management government, put age before marry
Coinage of agemarry is better
Mother suffered this, I am in agony
It is my sister’s turn, let it be agemarry.

YOUR LIGHT MY DARKNESS

I bear this pain alone, the pain of deception
The secrecy is excruciating
To carry a cross that is heavy by perception
The story of my life is infuriating
You were present at my conception
Now, waiting silently for my extinction

My honour gradually desecrated
Due to your lack of self control
You openly profess to cherish
Between you and I, a poison to my soul
How can my honour be reprieved?
When you continue your secret desecration

I cry to sleep, I fear to wake
Your presence a piercing dagger to my heart
The small secret world, a solace to my war
Your utterances venom to my soul
Mother cannot see though very naive
Life is slipping out of the girls hands

Crude and deceptive relative
Sacrificing trust at the altar of urges
A pervert in translucent skin
The revelation about you in little me
Will surely send a saint to sheol
And a transparent soul to recession

Endurance comes to a halt today
Listen to the little secret on air
Read your acts in the dailies
You opened me up, I open up today
The gate opened for you time to eat beans
End of impunity

BECKON

Raped, battered and bitter
Feelings is of rejection and humiliation
They say it is ----------- disorder
I feel dirty, used and spent
Nobody to turn to except me

There are choices for me
To live or to die, that is the question
To die and not to relive those moments
Agonizing, traumatizing and killing
Living in my lonely and empty world

Nightmares the ruler of my new life
The rapist left a message
You demanded for it!
I was sentenced before the judgment day
Why me? Why me? Why me?

Do I have the right to be me?
Do I have the right of choice?
Can I choose who to or not to touch me?
Can I have a fair hearing?
Who do I turn to?

Where did I go wrong?
Who do I offend?
Who can I talk to?
Where do I go from here?
Respond to the voice of my cry?

No answers to thousands of questions
Questions, questions begging for answers
My big secret is driving me crazy
My attacker is now a freeman
A rapist let loose

How can you empathize with me?
When all you do is ask questions again
How did he do it? Where did he do it?
Reliving my nightmares in sentences
Or is it the open up and let me see?

And you called out, my dear come
Neither your fault nor your making
She stretched the hand of love
I grabbed it in pain but relief came
She pulled me out of the mud

Laying my head on her shoulder
Receiving love,Solace and relief
A needed succour in time of agony
My proceeds of healing and cleansing
A chance to live my life to the fullest

She says, this problem must not linger
Normal to feel ashamed and embarrassed
Now better to talk my way into my healing
I got the power to move on
Life is a gift, I must never loose it.

Talking about it now is soothing to my soul
The idea refreshed my body now
The support catapulted me, I came out better
I felt trauma syndrome and move on
Believing that, yes life is a precious gift.

NO ONE ELSE

Today I am in the room again
My daddy is doing it again
I begged again and again
But he showed me the gains

My mother is innocently knitting
My brothers in the dining
And I, am hitting
Hitting the bed

This is my story
An adult before being a girl
Raped and reaped by daddy
Mummy always engrossed in her knitting

Daddy says “it is my duty”
To ravage my little body
I must not reveal our little secret
Because the god’s will kill me

Who will believe my story?
Father and daughter, who helps?
Sleepless nights and fearful days
And I call you my father!

I came to this world before my time
Who do I tell it was daddy?
My friends say it is incest
I dare not say I am the victim

Everybody says it is an abomination
My daddy believes it is divination
I want to believe that it is my imagination
I will soon awake to the realization

I want to reveal my little secret
Will you believe me?
Will you save me from my daddy?
I want to escape from my daddy

Speak out little darling, help is near
Keep no such secret
We will follow you all the way
Your healing has come

Daddy in his daughter is a taboo
Come out of incest, God loves you
The apple of His eyes
Why will he then kill you?

Daddy needs the healing process
He is sick, keeping mute will kill him
Help yourself come out clean and refreshed
You are not alone

We are here with you
Help is not far away
Stretch the hand, we are always near
We will grab you, you are not alone.

MY TRAY

Mama sent us on hawking spree
Not knowing she is making us prey
Everybody needs to pray
For we are now the game to play

We hawk vegetables
Uncle called us that he is able
In obedience, trays placed on table
And he starts with his fables

Doggy doggy was watching a play
Innocently we joined them in this place
Not knowing we are the target of this race
Our innocence is needed for a raise

Excitedly he handed two pounds to me
A week’s hawking sales, given to me
Jumping happily into doggie’s arms
As it dugs into my time

Life is ruined, my time is spent
Few minutes the money is spent
While I spend the rest of my days
In secrecy with uncle’s dog

My narration is strange and ugly
But this ordeal is not strange to us
We keep our deals to ourselves
Who will believe I lay with dogs

I am the victim and the only witness
He is the rich and the perpetrator
Mama, the ignoramus and the spender
The world a container that cannot contain our story

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

I feel honoured that you have shared your poetry with me. It is powerful and has given me an insight into your suffering but also your strength. Keep writing and sharing, you inspirational woman!

olutosin's picture

Thanks my darling sister

Thanks

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

MariaAle's picture

You made my day Dear

You made my day Dear Olutosin,
Reading and feeling your passion to help your community and the results that you have achieve. The sky is the limit and grateful that you're voice has been share to the world.
All my love,
MariaAle

Maria Alejandra Alcaraz

olutosin's picture

Thanks so much,

I appreciate your comment.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Lwesso's picture

Quelle richesse poétique

Bonjour
Je suis particulièrement édififé par votre article qui est plein d'inspiration.Ton histoire rapporte tout ce que nous vivons au centre Médiatique Mama shujaa de Bukavu en R D Congo.Nous avons un cyber café où la connexion internet est la plus sûre de toute notre province.
Votre poème commence avec une expression de tristesse et de solitude.C'est une bonne introduction qui m'a conduit à comprendre votre parcours.Exactement world pulse vous a fait sortir de l'anonymat,du silence,de l'éloignement .....
désormais,vous êtes devenues une femme du monde,une souer parmi les soeur et une mère de multiples enfants.
Je decouvre que vous avez plusieurs noms:World pulse et world pulse c'est vous,vous êtes les yeux,les oreilles,la bouche,les mains de world pulse.Je me demande pourquoi vous n'êtes pas encore les pieds de world Pulse.

Ezechiel

olutosin's picture

Good morning

Thanks so much for the comment. Remain blessed.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Dear Olutosin,

What a fountain of hope and positive sunshine you are, my sister!! I read every word and felt something emanate out of the sequence of happenings in the course of your life. It is like a stream of water in a rivulet that replenishes me.More power to you, Olutosin and keep going. We all look to you for this fountain.

Love you most,
Urmila Chanam

It takes just one to change many

olutosin's picture

We are moving forward together

Thanks my Love!!!!

Love Love Love Yoooooouuuuuu

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

kellyannaustin's picture

Beyond Access

Olutosin,

I know you are so active with World Pulse already, but I'm writing to make sure you know about our World Pulse partner, Beyond Access, because your words about your library were so moving! You say, "There is no single library in any of the riverside communities, therefore, I began the first story book library in Nigeria!!!!!The riverside children and I ensured that it is free for all serious students and women who can read and write. Presently, I have been able to purchase 450 story books without any financial support from any funding organization and we also have some women's books donated by sisters that I met through World pulse; aside the story books that I purchased." Amazing!

Beyond Access is a global movement of people and organizations committed to the idea that modern public libraries help drive economic and social development. Beyond Access encourages dialogue, assembles a community, and facilitates partnerships. They also create and curate resources, and provide services and opportunities for libraries and community organizations, development practitioners, and to donors and all levels of government. You can find out more about them at this url: http://beyondaccess.net/members/

In order to be eligible for the opportunity to connect with others who support community development through libraries, you must submit to all three phases of World Pulse’s 2014 Women Weave the Web Campaign. You can find out more information about the campaign here, http://worldpulse.com/campaigns/www/how-to-participate It would be fabulous to have your voice join others as we think through issues around digital access in all its complexity. And the role libraries play in this question would be a good place to start!

As you may know, there is also a prize that will be awarded to an outstanding grassroots woman and visionary voice using digital tools to effect change and advance her community work. The prize will include the 2014 Lynn Syms Prize title, a $20,000 monetary prize to be paid out over two years to support her community based work, a feature profile on WorldPulse.com, and an all-expense paid trip to speak her message in New York City. You can find more on the website, http://worldpulse.com/campaigns/www/www-women-weave-the-web-campaign-prizes

The deadline to submit to the first phase is March 31st!

Wishing you peace,

Kelly

olutosin's picture

I am Aware

Thank you so much Kelly, I understand everything, and all what I wrote is the truth, last week, the children sat on the floor to read since there is not enough chairs in our centre. I will post some of the pictures here now, for you to see the library at the riverside and the school children

I will write all the three articles and do my best, I need the support more than anyone. It is my dream to provide GOOD story books for the children at the rural areas in Nigeria. Thanks

Now attached are some of our newest pictures of the library.

Thanks

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

olutosin's picture

More Pics

I have uploaded more pictures of our recent activities at Ibasa library and we will continue to add more books to the library and more libraries to the Library project. . Thanks

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Olutosin,

I'm so glad to hear that you'll participate! I look forward to reading your posts and I hope your dreams become reality.

Wishing you peace,

Kelly

P.S. I don't think your photos came through!

Kelly

olutosin's picture

I did

Thanks Kelly, peace unto you too. Its slow but it will upload cos I uploaded it. Just few.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

kellyannaustin's picture

I see now! Beautiful.

I see now! Beautiful.

Kelly

olutosin's picture

Thank You

Thanks.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

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