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Introducing myself and my journal: picking up the pieces

About Me:

Hi i am a 56 year old married mother of six , all the kids are grown now and my husband and i made a dramatic move from pennsylvania to florida , i gave up my job plus benifits to make the move and realized once i got there i made a huge mistake we have no family there and i missed my children very much ,my situation with my husband was still the same as it was before we made the move controlling etc. Now going into menapose the whole move and the heat in florida made the menapose excalate and i started getting depressed so i packed up and left and i am torn between having left him and the fact that i really want my independence back after being with my husband for 32 years. I want to prove to myself and my children that i can be my own person and not be put down for who i am.

My Passions:
helping others, working hard ,swimming bicycling, yard work

My Challenges:
gaining self confidence, overcoming feeling guity, getting depressed

My Vision for the Future:
to set goals and accomplish them to be geniunely happy

My Areas of Expertise:
very domestic, waitressing ,driving, cleaning, caring for others

Comments

Susan K.A.'s picture

Welcome, Maggie May!

Dear Maggie May,

I am so glad that you have joined World Pulse! Now you are part of a community of women around the world who come together here to share their stories, as you just have done, and to give each other strength and courage. Together we can make positive changes in our own lives and in our communities; together we are so much stronger.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us and offering us a glimpse into your life. You have shown tremendous courage for standing up for yourself and I applaud you for it. This might sound funny, but I am deeply grateful to you for being there for yourself, for being your own best friend. You are an inspiration to me and women everywhere, for your honesty and for your courage to do so. It sounds like you have been through an incredibly tough time, emotionally and physically. I am glad that you are here and wish you continued growing self-confidence and happiness.

I'd like to share with you a link to the World Pulse Getting Started guide, which will help get you started networking with others here: http://worldpulse.com/pulsewire/about/guide

Again, a warm welcome to you Maggie May! I look forward to getting to know you better.

With love,

Susan

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"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being."
-Hafiz

maggiemay's picture

words that guide us

When we are spoken to in kindness and really listen when we have spoken there can be light amongst everyone.

Susan K.A.'s picture

Yes, kindness and truly being

Yes, kindness and truly being listened to are so powerful. Some days even a smile can be good therapy; it can give courage where before there was darkness. I have struggled with mild depression off and on through the years. I remember times when it was another's kind words or quiet, listening presence that ushered me into a more hopeful state. We need to know that we truly are never alone with our pain and struggles. We just need to reach out and remind each other of that.

______________________________________________________________________________

"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being."
-Hafiz

maggiemay's picture

yes we will keep in touch to

yes we will keep in touch to instill that positive feedback so we are not alone i did come back home to my husband with hopefully a better understanding from each end that we can be happy as long as we can learn to communicate and appreciate each other this time so as to move forward in a positive way and then with that said the positive will re-enforce itself into a better way of living peace always :) maggiemay

Susan K.A.'s picture

Best wishes

I think that's key--"learning to communicate and appreciate each other." I know from my own marriage that keeping understanding and communication open takes constant tending and careful attention. It's hard work! We can't take each other for granted, or things break down. And it's so true that little positive steps in this direction build on each other and lead to trust and a more solid foundation. Wishing that for you in your partnership, and in mine. Blessings.

______________________________________________________________________________

"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being."
-Hafiz

maggiemay's picture

right now having moved to a

right now having moved to a new area has brought things at a stress level that is a bit unbearable for me i am trying to find a job so as to get out of the house because his employment is home on the computer and i need my space away from him although he thinks he is a peaceful person i can feel his stress at all ends he was nice at the beginning but the true colors came out when i mentioned i was filing my own income tax this year because i have not seen a check ever he claims his expenses are greater than mine and i should not get any of that money and also if i claim on my own i will not get as much money the second part may be true however i was never thinking along those scales as you do when you are a child things like my dress is better than yours or i should have the better dress to me that is childish rubbish and i dont want to feel that i have to compete with anyone i always hope things will change but he seems to always have motives behind his kindness it is not genuine it really hurts because that is not who i am and i dont trust him still after 32 years i came back to keep the peace only it is destroying my well being and the sad part, is that those are his intentions so i am going to fight real hard to not let that happen thanks for your support maggiemay

Susan K.A.'s picture

prayers for you

Dear MaggieMay,

I'm keeping you in my prayers. Your life situation is really hard right now. I can see that. Do what you need to do to take care of your needs. I imagine that once you put down some roots, find work, and make some friends in your community, it will be easier. Without a support system besides your husband (who is evidently not capable of being very supportive at present) it is extra challenging. But this is where you are now. Take some moments out of each day to sit and breathe deeply. I hope you can reach out to your neighbors... Perhaps there is a community center where you could join a swimming or cycling class (I read in your profile that you enjoyed those things). Whatever you decide, I support you and am rooting for you to find some peace. Forgive yourself. You are doing the best you can. Love yourself, be extra gentle with yourself, no matter what. Hugs, Susan

______________________________________________________________________________

"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being."
-Hafiz

maggiemay's picture

Thank you for your morale

Thank you for your morale support that in itself keeps me motivated in the right direction. :)

Fatima Waziri's picture

Hey there! Welcome to

Hey there! Welcome to Worldpulse community!

It’s so exciting having you with us, I am sure you will have a fabulous time with your new online friends as well as find this to be a very positive experience. I encourage you to take advantage of the numerous resources and features available through our vibrant online community.

Welcome again to our global community and I look forward to hearing more from you.

Peace!
Fatima

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