Community Update

Digital Empowerment Toolkit Now Available!

At World Pulse, we recognize the need for ongoing learning—for you and for your community! Our toolkits aim to provide the resources you need to advance your social change work.

We are excited to introduce our Digital Empowerment Trainers’ Toolkit, a dynamic resource to help you bring the benefits of connecting online to women in your community. Check it out today! »

Today I've Decided to Kill a Woman

Today, after reflecting a lot about it, I've decided to kill a woman. Murder can be as complicated as living so, following my habits, I prepared a list of things that will help me to do it more effectively.

10 Things I Need to Do to Kill The Woman I am

1.- To kill a sluggish woman, I will take an emetic to shake myself a little and make me see that the way in which I have lived so far has been pleasant, but insufficient. My achievements has put me in a comfort zone where my talents are easily to manifest and I forgot to challenge myself. I'll follow my intuition and let me flow to new books, places, people and patterns.

2.- To kill a proud woman, I'll exorcise the demon of pride that lives within me, crouching in the shadows, occuping the gaps of my soul, waiting for a moment of frustration, vulnerability, misunderstanding or full adulation to go out and devour others. I'll fill those gaps with humility, patience and temperance, because everything in life is fleeting.

3.- To kill a fearful woman, I will summon the ghosts of my past. All of them. I will open widely to them the door of my life, to see the lessons they bring me under a bright new daylight. I'll stop projecting my past fears on others and instead, I'll talk openly about my experiences, because in that way I can help others.

4.- To kill an insecure woman, I will change the magic mirror in which I have reflected so far. I will rescue the sweet, tender, spontaneuos, loving and caring woman sleeping behind the glass that separates the mind and heart. I won't say sorry again for the times my heart spoke out of control. Rather, I will empower the voice of my heart and master the art of speaking without words.

5.- To kill a severe woman, I'll break every bone with the hammer of flexibility. Thus, I will realize that I need not always be right, in control, have the correct answer, the day made. I'll give myself permission to be an unapologetic crazy lunatic in love with life, showing my weaknesses and contradictions and leaving no room for shame.

6.- To kill a unsatisfied woman, I will abuse the pills of gratitude. They are highly addictive. I will give thanks until my jaws hurt. Gratitude for what it was and what was not. Gratitute because everyone I've met in life me gave me something of his/herself, for those who stayed for a moment, a season or a reason.

7.- To kill a selfish woman, I'll electroshock the idea that the value of what I do, say and feel must be agreed for others. So far I have abused, perhaps unconsciously, of the patience, time and friendly feelings of some people. So I have become a person who was once lovable to one who's often annoying A discharge of 20,000 volts of humbleness every 6 hours should definitely kill this bad habit.

8.- To kill a procastinating woman, I will strangle lazyness with focus and accountability. Not enough to identify my potential and establish my mission, my duty is to take care of that and focus my attention on a plan to take me to expand my talents. If I want to contribute to a better world, I have to be able to make myself better, without quoting excuses.

9.- To kill a resentful woman, I'll mow the pain with forgiveness and acceptance. I'll leave the guilt and revenge. I will accept my soul, like all souls having a human experience, has dents, wounds and scars. I abandon the habit of blame. The greatest act of justice is to forgive and forgive myself. My honor lies in my ability to be honest.

10.- To kill the woman who is very hard on herself, I will throw myself to the deep vortix of compassion in a free fall without the rope of perfectionism, sustained only by my own strength.

Never forget to be always patient. There’s no perfect murder and probably I have to try many times until succeed

Comments

Emily Garcia's picture

Loving the Woman

Hello Vanessa! Happy New Year! This is the most creative list of resolutions I've ever seen, and I must admit I had a visceral reaction to the language you've used here, 'To kill the woman,' even though I know you use it figuratively. The personal aspirations you list are all admirable and beautiful. I can relate to each one of the negative traits you mention, and I too strive to be that better person who is not confined by these limitations, but I wonder if trying to rid oneself entirely of all negative traits or tendencies is once again that noose of perfectionism grabbing hold. We are all human, after all, each one of us with our own gifts and special quirks and with our personal challenges as well. I think it is admirable and brave to strive to be better, and it shows what a determined, caring and compassionate woman you are, but the reaction I have from reading this is to give you a big hug and say, 'You are perfect the way you are, even with these failings.' This is what I try to say to myself every day, as I too am a perfectionist who is very hard on herself.

Sending you much love and the warmest wishes for a happy and blessed New Year!

Emily

Emily Garcia
World Pulse Online Community Lead

LeanaM's picture

I so agree!

It seems like Emily read my mind and somehow managed to write all my thoughts in such a beautiful and powerful way. I echo her sentiments, and nasreenamina, I also echo this constant search for improvement and reflection. I also think that sometimes we are much too hard on ourselves and need to learn to accept the person that our past and present have molded us to be. What I'm not so sure about is how to balance all of that....the voice in the back of our mind to try harder and to better, and the other voice that tells us to accept ourselves and love ourselves. And speaking of love.....much love to both of you, Emily and Nasreenamina in the new year!

Soumya Vilekar's picture

innovative and true

You wrote the facts in a rather innovative and interesting way. The thoughts you have put are real and so genuine that they create a different effect when read such in thi spresentation.
Thanks for the new year resolutions which are really new and encouraging,
Best wishes,
Soumya

jacollura's picture

Love the woman you are

Vanessa,
This is a creative and thought provoking list. However, I don't think you need to kill the woman you are. You only need the strength, flexibility, and desire to learn and grow. By writing this list, you've proven you have just that.
Here's to positive growth and change in 2014!
With love and peace,
Julie

evan.darraji's picture

creative!

Dear nasreenamina
it is really smart & creative what you wrote up here.
also, rather than killing we can healing.
challenging ourselves is the first wall we have to cross to challenge & fight society.
please keep going writing such stuff. can I share it on my facebook?

Much love

Magazine »

Read global coverage through women's eyes

Inside Congo's Growing Sisterhood

Inside Congo's Growing Sisterhood

Community »

Connect with women on the ground worldwide

PAKISTAN: They Went to School and Never Came Back

PAKISTAN: They Went to School and Never Came Back

Campaigns »

Be heard at influential forums

WWW: Women Weave the Web

WWW: Women Weave the Web

Programs »

Help us train women citizen journalists

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

Blog »

Read the latest from World Pulse headquarters

Announcing Our Prize Winners!

Announcing Our Prize Winners!

Partners »

Join forces with our wide network of partners

Nobel Women's Initiative

Nobel Women's Initiative