Community Update

World Pulse Toolkits Available!

At World Pulse, we recognize the need for ongoing learning—for you and for your community! Our toolkits are all available here.

We are especially excited to share our signature Citizen Journalism and Digital Empowerment Curriculum. Start learning today!

Narrative Essay: Strong Desire will Overcome Every Challenge

In the morning the sun rises, clearing the blanket of darkness and bringing the light of new hope among the people. This day’s birds dance and sing a song of freedom in the sky. The river beside my house flows, making a loud sound and encouraging men and women to get ready to go into the field. On one such day, I was sitting at the corner of my house enjoying the beauty and thinking deeply about my life. Suddenly, I heard a voice saying, “What will you do now?” I looked around, but again the voice came, “How will you fulfill your innocent father’s dream?” I shouted, saying, “Who are you?” I realized the voice was coming from my heart. I felt like a bird kept in a cage because I could not follow my mind and I had to obey my parents.

My small village with my family seems like a different world for me. I was not exposed to the outer world. We lived with nature, not with technology. I only knew what my responsibilities were and about my economic problems. My father was a drunkard. He misused all the money he earned. I still remember the days and moments when my drunkard father came home and beat my mother. When I used to see my mother’s rough hands that smelled of roots, her face covered with darkness, my eyes filled with tears.

We were alive just because of my mother. She worked like a machine in the field, ignoring day and night just to feed us. My past was dark; it could never give me joy, instead it took away my present joyful moments. My father was not responsible. I did not want to blame him because it was not his fault. It was the fault of the alcohol which made him drunk. My mother remained alive only for her small lovely and innocent children. She was alone with lots of people. I heard that god treated everyone equally. I wanted to know, why was there a huge gap between people? Why did god give my mother a troublesome life? Would I ever be able to get an answer to this question?

When I felt I was grown up, I made a promise to myself and god that I would struggle and I would give all the happiness to my mother that god had taken away from us. Days and nights passed with economic difficulties and family disputes, but my mother always encouraged not letting ourselves down. We were like an artists and our life was like a film. Everybody around us watched, laughed and some showed sympathy. I was a little innocent child. Nothing was in my hands. We were too small to understand those things. We didn’t know what was going on with us. Despite lots of difficulties life had to go on. We grew up. I completed my schooling from a normal school in the village. I scored good marks. My father loved us very much, as we were his blood, his children. Even though he was responsible for the suffering of my poor mother, I never blamed him for this because it was written in my fate. Thus, it happened. I believe beside every wrong deed there is a reason. My father might have had some reasons behind it. I knew I should not have forgiven him, but what to do? I am his obedient daughter. I do not have a heart of stone. I love him. No matter how he is, he is my father.

Time passed in such a way that I had to leave my house. I had to go to Kathmandu for my higher education. At first I was excited, because I was going to the capital for the first time in my life. I felt everything was new for me there. I was alone despite being surrounded by thousands of people. I passed my time crying like a small baby at the beginning. I also kept in mind the purpose that I came to Kathmandu. I joined college and started studying science on a scholarship. I completed two years. I always tried to do my best in my studies. I wanted to study medicine. I knew my parents could not afford to pay for my higher education. Dark clouds never went away from my life. I wanted to study, but I could not. My father grew older and gave up alcohol and that was the greatest day of my life. My parents were very supportive. They always encouraged me to study, but they were helpless and university was not affordable.

One fine morning, I made a decision that I would talk with my father about my higher education in medicine. My mother had already told me that my father was regretting not fulfilling our desires. I never wanted to give him pressure. I picked another topic and began to talk about my life in the capital. I always failed to say “father! I wanted to become a doctor,” because I already knew that he could not afford to pay my fee. I could read his unspoken words through his unconfident and slow voice.

I always remained obedient with my parents because I always thought about them before making any sorts of decisions in my life. For example, my father took my brother to the capital for his schooling. I also wanted to go and I asked my father but, he denied me. I remained quiet and studied at a normal school in the village. I always followed the path they showed me.

Sometimes I cursed god for giving me such a life, but sometimes I gave thanks for that. Hardship and scarcity always remain as great inspirations in my life. My condition encouraged me to work hard. I never made my parents pay high expenditure for my needs. Instead, I always asked them for education. I never did the work which could humiliate my parents. I never demanded more money for my own use. I struggled very hard not only for me but for my parents. I ignored pain and lied about being strong when I was weak. My dream always comes after my parents. I would never blame my parents for giving me such a hard life. Instead, I always praised them. If I did not have them I would not have got a chance to be a part of this wonderful world.

I never followed my mind. For example few months ago, after completion of my board exam of grade 12, I made a decision to go abroad. One fine morning, I went to my father’s room. I asked, “Father! I wanted to go to a European country for my higher education”. He remained silent for a while. Finally he said, “no my child! Try for scholarship in medicine in our own country”. By considering our economic condition, I made a decision to go abroad. My parents denied. I had to compromise again because I had to follow my parents, not my own mind. Sometimes I felt like going far away from all my people and home because I wanted to go away from sufferings and scarcity. I never did that because my wrong decision would affect my parents. Sometimes I felt I should have left home but my helpless, caring and loving parents never let me do so.

I struggled alone to give shape to my future. My parents were illiterate and there was no role model for me. I became like a fish without water. My dreams always inspired me to go ahead. Immediately, after completion of grade 12, I searched for scholarships at different universities. One day I went to my friend’s room. Why did I go to her room? I do not know but that moment became a turning point of my life. I knew about AUW (Asian University for Women). I applied for it and finally I got selected for it. I could not figure out how was it possible? Was it fate or a gift from god for my struggle? After coming to AUW, my life and my perception to view the world was changed. AUW gave me the chance to learn new things in every single second. I wanted to utilize time and grab opportunities. Here are lots of things to learn and experience.

In closing, when I compared my past and present life, I feel like I am dreaming. I would never forget the dark reality of my life. This taught me a lesson that there is always something to learn. I learned if you struggled hard, then the whole world conspired you to gain that thing. Now I can believe nothing is impossible. It only needs your dedication to make it possible. I feel like I am close to my dream. I don’t know up to which level I will reach, but I would never forget that I was an obedient daughter, I am an obedient daughter and I would always remain an obedient daughter of my parents.

Comments

Emily Garcia's picture

You are incredible!

Dear Binita.jirel,

Welcome to World Pulse, and thank you for sharing your story! You have overcome great hardship and I am awed and inspired by your determination and perseverance. Congratulations on your acceptance to AUW! I believe there are several women here in our online community who are AUW alumnae that you could connect with.

Are you still pursuing a career in medicine? It must be very difficult navigating your own path while remaining obedient to your parents. I hope that they see and appreciate what a courageous and talented woman you are. I also hope they will learn to trust you to make good decisions on your own, since you have shown that you are a devoted daughter and at the same time an intelligent and capable woman!

Thank you again for sharing, and I'm looking forward to hearing more from you soon.

Warm wishes,
Emily

Emily Garcia
World Pulse Online Community Lead

Binita.jirel's picture

Dear Emily, Thank you for

Dear Emily,

Thank you for your meaningful comment. I am not studying medicine because this university doesn't have that subject, but I think I will take Politics, philophy and economic as my major in future. I believe every single individual born for some reason so, I want myself to be a reason for change. Now i do believe that small change can make a huge difference in one's life. Thank you once again for your inspiring comment.

Regards,
Binita Jirel

jampa's picture

Amazing

Dear Binita,
Thank you so much for sharing such an amazing, moving and personal story with us. You are one the most passionate girls I have seen. I am so much impressed by your perseverance because every time our One Reach Five training session, I see you are the first person to come and participate all sessions without missing any. I am so grateful to you for your support to us and your passion for learning more always pleased us as well.

This story is an incredibly touching, through out the story, I can see your talent, faith and constant struggle for pursuing your dream. Your mother is absolutely a powerful woman who takes all responsibilities to take care of your family and because of her continuous hard work, you have this chance of exploring more today.

I can definitely connect my own experience when you say that you want to be an obedient daughter but at the same time you feel a bit suffered for living in parents' expectation but not with your own. Well, What I would suggest you is that you already have that power and passion born within yourself, I am sure that there is nothing wrong to follow your heart and keep doing things that you are personally passionate about. In that case, I am sure you can make your parents proud of you and you will be thrilled to see your own transformation and possibilities that you are creating as time goes.
You also mentioned that you were confused and filled with darkness before because you could not find any models for you to follow in your community. Well, you know what, you can be the model for yourself as well as the model for those girls like you in your community. You can be the first model who can not only change your own life, but also impact the lives of many women like your mom, sisters and friends.

As you said, you "can believe nothing is impossible. It only needs your dedication to make it possible," I like this. Please keep sharing your wonderful stories.
All the best,
Jampa

Binita.jirel's picture

Thank you

Dear jampa,

Thank you for helping us to find such an wonderful family.

Regards,
Binita Jirel

HeidiSB's picture

Beautiful

Dear Binita,

What an amazing world it is. You grew up in a small village, and are now at AUW, and join a group where you are encouraged to write your story. After you post it, a 42 year old mother of three, on the other side of the world in the United States, reads it and is moved to tears.

There are many differences in our lives, but in your writing what I see are the similarities. I, too, wanted to please others around me and had many of the same feelings about my father and my mother. I, too, had a transformative experience when I went to Scripps College for Women which was far away from my home. And when I started college, I never dreamed I would eventually earn a scholarship to receive a PhD! We never know what we are capable of until we get there. You said in your story that you lied about being strong when you were weak, but clearly, you are very very strong!

I am so happy for you, and know you will continue to study hard and learn much, and you will do something so amazing and wonderful with your life. I hope you include continuing to write in your future goals. You are a very skilled writer and story teller. Thank you for sharing.

Sincerely,
Heidi

Binita.jirel's picture

Highly Appreciated

Dear Heidi,

Really we never know what will happen tomorrow!! Thank you for your wonderful comment. It means a lot to me.

Love,
Binita Jirel

Magazine »

Read global coverage through women's eyes

Letters to a Better World

Letters to a Better World

Community »

Connect with women on the ground worldwide

womenspace's picture

CAMBODIA: Ordinary Women Can Make a Difference

Campaigns »

Be heard at influential forums

WWW: Women Weave the Web

WWW: Women Weave the Web

Programs »

Help us train women citizen journalists

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

Partners »

Join forces with our wide network of partners

Nobel Women's Initiative

Nobel Women's Initiative