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And this is a letter I wish having received from a lover

A letter I wish receiving from a lover

How much of gender violence occurs by the hands of spouses, or close relatives? A lot. A huge majority of cases in Italy is perpetrated by family members.

Maybe, with the highly questionable justification (to use a bit of understatement) of "loving too much".

On instinct, the first thing we feel an urge to do as this happens is, "I will resist, and persevere, until he will change."

Then despite our best attempts (or maybe also triggered by them) nothing changes, at best. In most cases, things go worse and worse.

Clearly something is missing. A reciprocally shared definition of love, among other things?

Sure we can hardly change the mind of a present criminal.

But we can make a big difference, if we educate the new generations, of men and women, to respect, courage to put constantly oneself in discussion, communication.

In short, if in addition to deliver youth some cold technical education, we also get the chance of educating their hearts.

Beginning with love. Its meanings. How we figure it, to begin with the easy things. And to proceed, step by step, towards something deeper.

That's a lot of nice theory, however. If we really wish a better world we have to live it in advance, as Gandhi said. So, turning to practice, what kind of love letter you would enjoy receiving from your lover? You may find mine included here. But my hope is you too will write your own, and share it. Especially, with the ones you care more.

While (and if) this happens, you might have to be content of my

Love

Mauri

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courtmiller03's picture

The expression of love

It rarely goes unnoticed. Yet, so often does it remain unspoken. It is our greatest feat when practiced and our deepest void when forgotten. The expression of love is powerful beyond measure. May we all bestow its glory upon our younger generation and expose them to the endless possibilities and joy that love can bring to our lives.

Courtney Michelle Miller
Digital Communications Strategist and Multimedia Producer
http://courtneymichellemiller.org

Mauri's picture

Your beautiful words need no addition

Michelle, your beautiful words need no addition.

What I have seen is, love (or lack of it) permeates any aspect of life. You may see it even in the least expected places, like in academic papers: of many you can see they are dull, maybe very informative, but lacking any life - and poisoning bit after bit their readers - while someones shine. As Khalil Gibram would have said, they are baked in love.

The same is true of any human expression. Unfortunately, this connection is quite beyond the mainstream culture, and many other motivations seem to prevail. Like profit, or the desire to show others how clever/tough/... the author is, or ...

Would love be expressed, in its deepest form, the link would be evident. At least, this is my feeling ;-)

My best guess is, in thousand years of effort we have developed the words. But in this last decades we do not practice them. I'm thinking of how multifaceted love can be, from the sensual to the more spiritual forms, all of them inextricably connected, and resonating.

Maybe, if we want a less violent and more respectful world, we as a collectivity should write a "big" love letter, from this generation to the current and next ones. It could be quite monumental, I imagine - with contributions from Horatius to Hildegard of Bingen, large parts of most sacred scriptures and images, and many, many others.

But would help addressing young people to develop a dimension which can not be renounced. If this dimension is fully developed, then people becomes strong, and their choice between hatred and love, or evil and good, is more automatic to the second. This applies, in case of men, to how they relate with women. But more generally, it regards the whole of us, how we relate to the world, and a future we can't "design" completely, but we can surely make better or worse.

Love

Mauri

ikirimat's picture

Your piece of letter is a

Your piece of letter is a true reflection of what hapens even in Africa. It makes me ask, Is it a human thing?

In deed a wake up call. "But we can make a big difference, if we educate the new generations, of men and women, to respect, courage to put constantly oneself in discussion, communication". This statement is what we all need to do as we use other approaches to build a society of love and respect in a sustainable manner.
again , It was nice reading your love letter

Grace Ikirimat

"It takes the hammer of persistence to drive the nail of success."


Mauri's picture

Thank you, Grace, for your warmth

You are true, we all people of good will are the hope for the world we wish, and all of us devise.

I see how violence is just one (a big one indeed) of the troubles accompanying us in this phase. Just one, and not the only. There is a whole planet, the one who cares and nourishes us, which is in big distress. Now, maybe the first time in million years, we have the necessity to give back our mother planet all the "love" it gave us. And this can be made only within a culture of love.

Today I'm sad - Nelson Mandela has passed out: he was an incarnation of this culture of love. I know he's now looking at us all from the heavens, curious to see whether we'll go on. My wish, as yours, is this journey of transformation will progress.

In a sense we are "obliged" going on. The stake is hard. On one side violence, indifference, disrespect, denial of freedom. Extinction, of course of our species (life itself will continue, without of us). On the other, a future. In front of such a choice, I feel there is no doubt on where to go.

So thank you again, dear sister, and a hug.

Mauri

Dear Lovely Mauri~

I am deeply touched by your LOVE letter to the world, future generations and a reminder Love begins within each of us. A favorite of many statements by the Dali Lama is "Educating the Head and Heart" is something I take seriously as an educator. Knowledge and the intellect is wonderful but without the guidance of the Heart, how will you put to use your intelligence to better the world and humanity.

I envision you as a gardner, planting seeds of LOVE which takes root in the soul of people around the world. We must nurture the seed of LOVE so it grows beautifully and we can harvest it for many generations to come. THANK YOU for planting a garden of LOVE.

With LOVE and Gratitude,

With Gratitude,

Linda M. Ando

Linda, dear,

your image of love as a garden, which we all can contribute their seeds, is really beautiful. And inspiring!

Indeed, it's so true that love bears many similarities with life itself - and life processes. As life, love is better transmitted to next generations than just given back.

I feel we all, as humans, are gardeners of love. It's part of our souls, maybe one of those parts so suppressed, yet still there. And, is something we are built for, by eons of life history.

We humans can enact evil, and often do, in detachment, indifference, or self-concentration. But we also have a great potentiality to be actors of goodness, love as a driving force. I fully agree with you: as educators, we have to make all our best for making love-seeding possible, through invention of appropriate images. Of a language, which to date is largely missing, but we're in desperate need of.

I'm sure we'll find it. Day by day. Constantly. In "kaizen" spirit (pardon me the little word abuse). But relentlessly.

Love - and awe.

Mauri

aimeeknight's picture

Hi Mauri, Your beautiful love

Hi Mauri,

Your beautiful love letter reminds me of two quotes by one of my favorite authors and poets, Maya Angelou. One of them is: “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” For me, that is such a powerful sentence. I wish I had heard it a long time ago. I would have left an abusive relationship much sooner. Yes, people can change. However, sometimes our hope for that change overpowers the truth in front of us.

The other is: “When you wish someone joy, you wish them peace, love, prosperity, happiness... all the good things.” Your love letter is filled with empathy and compassion. Your wish is for all the good things.

Thank you for sharing your wish.

"One shoe can change a life" ~ Cinderella

Mauri's picture

Aimee, dear, my feeling

Aimee, dear,

my feeling is, "we grow". It is only by doing so, by living all the right steps, that we can really become aware of our own experience.

I admit, it took me a horrible lot of time to begin suspecting so. Oh, rationally I had "understood" all of it since sixteen years (more or less), after first "monumental life balance" (?) of a long sequence.

Or when 22 years old, on the second large-scale life balance (age had increased, and so the process took me two whole days, alternating between joy and cry ;-) More things to self-confess...).

Oh, I had a good cry, that's true. But the whole process was quite pointless: I had never really lived what I've imagined to be. It was just a matter of time, anyway. You may anticipate possible future, but cannot escape your real one approaching - or forming.

I am deeply thankful of these "real", largely unexpected experienced. I learned some people are like vampires of vital force, sucking it from you without mercy (and maybe without even realizing it); I've seen the Sun in others, no less. With others, I've lived enriching and thriving relationships, and with others more I've experienced abuse, dysfunction. This is something I can "name" today, however: when they happened, I noticed them intuitively, yet half unaware - lacking any real experience and some real wor(l)ds, from the soul, not the intellect.

On average, I'm grateful to all of these experiences, even the ones who left some scares. They helped me learn something. And in retrospective, the ones in their moment more terrible ended up in major positive breakthroughs.

It was so hard. And slow. And incomplete - I'm not a so different person from when I was 16, or 22. Yet, in very real sense I'm not the same person as before. (I'm saying "I", but guess hard a "we" could sta safely there).

In the process, the real loves and friendships survived - and this is so wonderful. They last whole lifespans, maybe even survive to us, through their resonance and consequences...

One of my dreams is, it would be really wonderful (maybe, wonderfully impossible) to "grow" with less pain.

Or, which would be more or less the same, embracing evolution as it occurs, in ourselves, in others.

My special wish (and certitude) for "you" (and "me" as well!) is, we ("all") can continue our journey, more and more aware of what has happened, what might happen, and, to some extent, why.

Love

Mauri

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