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LE DIVORCE A BUKAVU

Le divorce est un mal qui frappe fortement notre société ici dans la ville de Bukavu;Est de la RDCONGO,
Les statistiques prouvent que trente pourcent de mariages de notre ville se transforme en divorce dans les trois à cinq années qui suivent,
Il est donc naturel de se poser la question de savoir qu'est ce que le divorce?Et pourquoi intervient-il que si peu de temps après l 'événement qu'on déclare être le plus heureux de la vie?
A mon humble avis je définirais le divorce comme étant la succession de plusieurs déceptions causées par :
-L'hypocrisie
-Le matérialisme
-Le mariage précose
-L'imposition du choix de l'epoux ou l'epouse
-Imitation aveugle
-Fiancailles à courte durée
En effet,dans notre ville surtout les jeunes filles se laissent intimider par leurs copines dans le cadre du mariage dans ce sens où lorsque celles qui sont mariées se moquent de celles qui ne le sont pas encore;celà les touchent vraiment d'autant plus que l'on considère les filles de plus de vingt cinq ans dans notre environment comme de vieilles filles.
sur ce, les filles désirent le mariage plus que tout pour éviter les moqueries des qutres filles.
D'autres par contre aiment le materiel ainsi même sans amour elles se jetent dans les bras des hommes riches croyant que le bonheur se trouve dans l'argent.
Certains parents qui aiment le mariage à excès marient leurs filles lorsque celles-ci n'ont pas encore assez de maturité par prestique mais dès qu'elles arrivent au foyer elles ne savent pas bien prendre soin de leurs maris et quand les enfants arrivent la situation s'aggrave encore.
Il ya aussi des parents qui imposent leurs garçons d'epouser telle fille juste parcequ'elle est de la même tribu qu'eux.
Ou encore d'autres paarents qui demandent à leurs filles de refuser un homme de tel ou tel critère selon leurs convenances à eux et non les différents choix de leurs filles;c'est de la didacture.
Dans bon nombre de cas aussi les gens sont fatigués qu'on les appelle célibataires et font tout pour se marier à tout prix;c'est ce que j'appelle l'imitation aveugle.Je profite donc par le biais de mon article pour dire à quelqu'un que être célibataire n'est pas une honte ou même une malediction.
Gardes foi en Dieu s'il t'a créer pour le mariage il t'enverra ton âme soeur au moment opportun.Ne te sens pas inférieur ou différent parceque tu es dans le célibat.Tu es important;tu es valeureux;tu as des potentiels en toi;ne te fais pas manquer la paix inutilement;les autres ont besoin de toi et tu peux impacter le monde tel que tu es.
J'aimerais dire à qui voudrait bien l'attendre que rien ne sert à courir;prends le temps d'observer ton compagnon ou ta compagne pour mieux le/la connaître.Certes que tu ne le/la connaîtra pas totalement avant le mariage proprement dit mais ait une idée sur lui/elle pour savoir si tu pourra le/la supporter par amour.
En conclusion tout un chacun doit savoir qu'on se marie lorsqu'on ressens un tel amour;une telle affection;un tel attachement à l'endroit de l'autre de sexe opposé qu'on voudrait à tout prix être ensemble sous le même toit,même sans enfant si cette stérilité vient de Dieu.Les autres critères ne sont pas important parce qu'ils sont changeants et celà avec le temps,l'âge,etc
Merci

English translation by community member liannareed

Divorce in Bukavu

The divorce is an evil that strikes our society in Bukavu, eastern DR Congo.

The statistics show that 30% of marriages in our city end in divorce in the first 3 to 5 years.

It is thus natural to ask the question: what is divorce? And why does it take so little time after the divorce to become happy in life? In my humble onion I define divorce as the succession of many disappointments caused by:

Hypocrisy
Materialism
Early marriage
the imposition of choice by the husband or wife
blind imitation
short engagement

Indeed, in our city young girls are left intimidated by their girlfriends in the context of marriage in the sense that those that are married mock those that are not yet married; those that are over 25 and are not married in this environment are considered spinsters.

The girls want marriage more to avoid the mockery from other girls. Others, however, like the material wealth that accompanies marriage and so without love they throw themselves into the arms of rich men and believe they can find happiness in money. Certain parents like the marriage for their daughters who are not yet of age for the prestige. But when they come home they do not know how to take care of their husbands and when children arrive the situation gets worse. There are also parents who make their sons marry just because the girl is from the same tribe as them.

Or still other parents ask their girls to refuse a man for this or that reason given their own convenience and not based on the choice of their daughters. It is dictatorship. In a good number of cases people are tired of being single and want to marry at any price. It is this that I call blind imitation. I therefore profit because of the bias in my article to say to somebody that is single isn’t an embarrassment or a curse.

Keep faith in God if he created you for marriage, he will send you a soulmate at the right moment. Do not feel inferior or different because you are single. You are important. You are valuable. You have potential in yourself. You do not have to miss out on peace. The others need you and you can impact the world in which you live.

I would like to say to those that want to wait that nothing happens quickly. Take the time to observe your partner to know your partner better. Certainly you do not totally know your partner before marriage but you should have an idea of him/her to know if you can continue the love through marriage.

In conclusion everyone has to know who they are going to marry and that they can love or have affection for someone of the opposite sex. You will be, at all costs, together under the same roof, maybe without children, if sterility comes. The other criteria are not important because they change with the time etc.

Thank you

Comments

liannareed's picture

Translation

Divorce in Bukavu

The divorce is an evil that strikes our society in Bukavu, eastern DR Congo.

The statistics show that 30% of marriages in our city end in divorce in the first 3 to 5 years.

It is thus natural to ask the question: what is divorce? And why does it take so little time after the divorce to become happy in life? In my humble onion I define divorce as the succession of many disappointments caused by:

Hypocrisy
Materialism
Early marriage
the imposition of choice by the husband or wife
blind imitation
short engagement

Indeed, in our city young girls are left intimidated by their girlfriends in the context of marriage in the sense that those that are married mock those that are not yet married; those that are over 25 and are not married in this environment are considered spinsters.

The girls want marriage more to avoid the mockery from other girls. Others, however, like the material wealth that accompanies marriage and so without love they throw themselves into the arms of rich men and believe they can find happiness in money. Certain parents like the marriage for their daughters who are not yet of age for the prestige. But when they come home they do not know how to take care of their husbands and when children arrive the situation gets worse. There are also parents who make their sons marry just because the girl is from the same tribe as them.

Or still other parents ask their girls to refuse a man for this or that reason given their own convenience and not based on the choice of their daughters. It is dictatorship. In a good number of cases people are tired of being single and want to marry at any price. It is this that I call blind imitation. I therefore profit because of the bias in my article to say to somebody that is single isn’t an embarrassment or a curse.

Keep faith in God if he created you for marriage, he will send you a soulmate at the right moment. Do not feel inferior or different because you are single. You are important. You are valuable. You have potential in yourself. You do not have to miss out on peace. The others need you and you can impact the world in which you live.

I would like to say to those that want to wait that nothing happens quickly. Take the time to observe your partner to know your partner better. Certainly you do not totally know your partner before marriage but you should have an idea of him/her to know if you can continue the love through marriage.

In conclusion everyone has to know who they are going to marry and that they can love or have affection for someone of the opposite sex. You will be, at all costs, together under the same roof, maybe without children, if sterility comes. The other criteria are not important because they change with the time etc.

Thank you

mayele's picture

thank

i just want to thank for translating my piece to enable english speaking people to undestand my story.
Thank You

Mayele , Maman shujaa and World Pulse volunteer

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