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Girls are not pieces of meat!!!!

At the age of thirteen, my breasts began to grow. As a trait that I inherited from my father’s family, and that I share with all my aunts and my cousins, my breasts were rapidly full, generous, and ample. I was a very shy and discreet girl at that moment, and to have a sexy bosom was not a thing that I was prepared for. It was even more than sexy. It was huge! I felt as if I was disconnected with this new body. At that time, dreaming and reading was all that I wanted to do. I wanted to become an author! But no one seemed to be able to see beyond this full bosom. Things got worse when boys and older teenagers began to have dirty comments behind my back. They considered me as one of those porn stars! It is very difficult when you want to be seen as an ordinary girl, and all the guys that you meet seem to only see in you a piece of meat to f***. Hey! Welcome to the women’s world!

At 21, I contemplated the idea of going through plastic surgery to get rid of those things that I considered as embarrassing parts. However, it was not possible because I had no money at all. I could have used those very feminine attributes to obtain something from all those men who were lurking around with their hungry eyes on my bosom, but I was raised to use my brain rather than my body. There were plenty of them. Young boys, young men, mature men…the last were the worst of them! They had this same glint in their eyes, the glint of lust. And worse, a glint that seems to say that they will never respect me as a human. I was just a body with no mind, a body that resembles to what they appreciate in those awful porn videos. But I knew better. I never allowed anyone to get close to me. However, I know for sure that other girls act differently, because they were not taught early enough that they could say no, and that they were worth respect.

I became rather uptight. No boyfriends, no dates. I was wearing very large shirts to hide my curves. And I completely immerged myself in my studies, and later, in my work. At 24, I met my future husband, a very sensitive man who respected me more than I could ever imagine. I fell in love and we got married. The end could be considered as soapy! But it isn’t. Because I will never forget those eyes that lingered on my bosom. I will never forget those hands trying to get a hold of one of my breasts when I was just innocently passing by, and it happened more than once. I will never forget those mocking laughter mixed with lust and disgust. I was a bitch, they seemed to say. No girl is ever a bitch. Even now, I can see how some men having difficulties to raise their eyes to meet mine; they’d rather be stuck lower! And it is disgusting. And it is more disgusting and disturbing when it happens during professional interactions.

Why do I need to share this story? I guess many girls and women around the world have the same trouble, and even more dramatic stories because of their body. Every now and then, we, women, are still struggling to be seen as human being who are worth respect. We are living in societies that still show women and girls as a mean for boys and men to satisfy their sexual needs, to take care of them in their everyday life and to bear their heirs. And because of this, rape is still a threat for women and girls around the world, inequality is considered as normal, and worse of all, we are still raising our little girls to use their curves to obtain a man’s attention, and our boys to appreciate the physical beauty of a woman rather than their spiritual beauty. Is this the world we want for our future? I don’t think so!

Now, as a mother, I know that I have to make sure my daughters know that they have to be respected, as much as they respect others, and I have to make sure that my boy becomes a respectful man. I know that they will have to go through their hormonal driven period, but they should never forget that the core of a true and healthy relationship is being equal to one another, and in every aspect of life. I believe we need more focus on how to help both parents to raise their children more efficiently, so that our future boys and men have more respectful behaviors, and girls and women are seen beyond their body.

Comments

MWINJA's picture

Thank you Madam

I am very glad to see that there are people who also happens in this situation
Me too at the age of 12 years, I had the breasts but it was not much, I was still in elementary school when the other girls laughed at me.
Now I see that there are those girls who have bigger breasts than me so they had it after me.
We must all respect each other and despite the physical training and that men do not take advantage of this training to use us women.
There is a lot of violence that we live here with us in our families, in our societies and even wherever we go.

Yvette

Mauri's picture

I might add, who in the World

I might add, who in the World (on female side) has never notice the same lust-blinking glances, or stares?

I fully agree with you, of the importance of educating our daughters to respect themselves, and our sons and daughters as well to consider that in every healthy relationship we should acknowledge in others their basic peerness to us, as human beings, with independent aspirations.

I would add that, at least in some cultures (Southern Europe certainly among them), a big effort (individual, by parents, and social through schools should be addressed to what I might say "sexual education" in an extended sense. All what done in secondary school is explaining boys and girls how their tubing is arranged, and what could it happen in case of misuse. I guess pupils already had plenty of suggestions about this from television and countless other parts.

What would be more valuable is, in my feeling, to educate youngsters to the "sentimental" part of life - an effort undertaken many decades ago, but then shut down after the years of "sexual liberation" (which in my opinion did a lot to "liberate" mainly low-level male instincts, and industrial profits, than more). Excuse me, if I sound conservative. But I feel strongly this is a very important point.

Education should also include establishing priorities. For example, we all are used to say of male "sexual needs". But: are these really "needs", or just urges? OK, they may come from spinal cord more than brain, but all people, males included, have a brain (despite many jokes) - and could use it. Today, for men and boys "acting" sexual and lusty, in casual and promiscuous way, seems a patent of bravery (a woman or girl doing the same would be labeled immediately a "slut", at best). But what, if culture changes enough to let people consider this form of "male bravery" just what it is, a sign of debauche, of inability to self control? I'm not saying boys should be educated to repress their sexuality: only they should be given the moral, cognitive and self-toughness support enabling them to look beyond their c*** and engage in mature, peer relationships.

Also, an education to diversity (tolerance of it, and celebration of own (inevitable)). Again, very much more on boys. Many of them are sensitive, and would express this natural, human aspect much more if "society" just celebrate this quality instead of dismissing it. The ones who are really lack empathy sine their first days of life would likely be diagnosed a serious mental health problem: "sensitivity", and longing for connection, are distinctive trait of humans and upper primates. Labeling sensitivity "just feminine" is part of a large de-humanization "program" boys, I see, are subject from the very beginning of their life. Sensitivity indeed is a sign of emotional strength. After all, only tough and self-reliant minds can open their hearts to others, and retain in the process their sense of self without diluting in some unhealthy relationship. This may be obvious to most girls and women (and a few "intrinsically strong and stable" boys and men), but I feel it may not be for many (most?) males.

So, thank you very much for having shared your experience and feelings.

Love

Mauri

Harisoa's picture

Thank you!

Hi all,

Thank you for your comments. It is always comforting to hear from other people around the world who share the same vision. Mauri, I totally agree with you when you speak about education's role to change the situation. And it is so true when you say that boys and men are also sensitive (I have a 10 years old boy and I know that he is a very sensitive boy) but social norms and culture practically change their inner ability to connect with others with emotion and show more empathy. With almost all political positions held by men throughout the world, it is no wonder why our world is such a mess today! But we can change this, if we introduce more thoughtful sensitivity, based on respect and tolerance.

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