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Women's Condition in rural areas of my Society in Pakistan

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By Sister Zeph

Shama is a 40 years old lady with four kids, She has a very swear pain in her back bone now a days, She cannot sit properly. She was learning stitching from Zephaniah’s learning Center, but this pain has made it impossible for her to learn more, So now she has to take rest, unfortunately she cannot take rest too, because she has to do many things in her home, take care of her kids, husband, to cook food, to clean home, to wash cloths and other important duties being a house wife.
Today when I was coming to my office she came to me and said she wants to talk, so I sat with her for some time. She was looking very sad and hopeless.
I thought she was sick that’s why it was so, but there was something more painful that she was going to tell me.
She told, last night she got sick so much, she asked her husband to get her medicine. But he replied, he would bring her to the Hospital and he did not have extra money to spend on her.
She said, on this answer her heart was broken and she was feeling very hurt and alone, She said if he will not support her , who will take care of her, Her eyes got red due to crying . She had been crying in her bed, but he did not notice it.
She came to me, because she wanted to earn something herself. She wanted to be empowered; she did not want to depend on him anymore.
She lives in my neighborhood and I know her since a long time, Because we have a beauty salon training Center, so one day when she came there I asked her to allow us to give a good shape to her eye brows, but she denied because she did not want to do anything with her face without her husband’s consent. She is not living with him like a wife but like a goat. And all of this, she is doing to get his love and attention, and because she knows, she needs a home, food and clothes, that he provides her. But she needs his love too , that he does not give her, like mostly men do in our culture , they treat women like a slave, like a property and like a goat but not like a life partner , wife, human being and a lover.
But stranger thing is that women feel proud on this and they give themselves completely in men’s hands, and allow them to do any thing.
Is this a love? May be, but I thinks it is insecurity because women in my society do not have courage to take a stand for their rights, and its reason is that they nor educated neither empowered.
They are not aware of their rights, given by the state to them. They cannot move safely in the society without a man. Because there is no rule of law here
So what happened they have to give themselves to a man who is allowed to do what he wants to do.
And they become a patient of anxiety, women in my society remain angry on small things, they quarrel with each other all the time, with daughter in law, with mother in law, with sister in law. And this is very common her e.
Because they are unhappy, they feel insecure, they are not independent .

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Mukut's picture

Sister Zeph

You are an inspiration to us. You are doing so much for your community and women. And no, I don't think this is love that women feel for their men. It is the social conditioning instilled in us that it is ok to depend on our man for everything and in turn he can treat us the way he wants us to be. It is also insecurity, financial and emotional, that does not allow women to take stand.

I would like to wish the best in all your endeavors.

Lots of love,

Mukut Ray

zephaniah's picture

Glad to hear from you

Dear Sister Mukut I am very glad to hear from you. and you are right this is not love, women have to do it, because they can not get get any thing at their own because they are not educated or skilled .

Wendyiscalm's picture

This is a very very important

This is a very very important article. I hope it is educating others as it has educated me. You speak so well and your story is told so well. What is the answer? What small step could be taken now towards the right direction? What small step? I do not know.

We must never give up but it is a multi-leveled problem.

Thank you for the courage to speak out about this issue.

Ubuntu(I am who I am because of who we are together),Wendy

Wendy Stebbins
Founder/CEO
I AM ONE IN A MILLION Non-Profit Organization focused on helping street orphans and vulnerable children in Livingstone, Zambia Africa.

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