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Hit me with the stones – I am a woman

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It was not a discussion. It was a classical bulling. I said something about journalistic ethic and that official newspaper cannot allow to itself use profanity words labeling people. I received in an answer insults, including from the chief editor of this edition.

The issue was about rights of gays. I should say that in Ukraine people, doesn’t matter of their social level, are very aggressive about such people. Well, they don’t believe they are people at all. The situation became incandescent in May. In the same time Ukrainian government was planning to discuss the draft of the law about gays’ rights and officially was announced that in Kyiv will take place the first Gay Pride Parade. A wave of aggressive demonstrations swept all other the country. Time passed and I saw and heard in 99% of cases very rude labeling and insults towards gays. Finally this wave calmed down. But couple days ago one popular regional newspaper published in facebook some article where the journalist used abusive words towards gays. It was not the first time when this newspaper allows using such expressions towards these people.

The article was about “What gays want from normal people?” And it described with great pleasure how these “animals” want to have a right to kiss on the streets. My patience exploded. I wrote that this was rude for the respectful edition. I received a comment from some reader with advices to go and learn Russian because these words you can find in a dictionary. Fortunately, I have University degree in Russian and Russian literature and I answered that this fact allows me to make assessment of the text. And these words are obvious from profanity vocabulary. Also I wrote that it’s very sad that we see the evil in gays and pretend that we are protecting “family values”, but from the other side we have highest rates on divorces, young families refuse to make more than one baby because we live in poor country. And shame is not to kiss on the street, shame to live in the country where you need to choose if you should save money for a washing machine or to make a baby.

It was late in the night. In the morning I received two bulling answers: one from chief editor, who laughed from me because of the word “profanity”. The other was from the journalist of this newspaper who even did not signed himself. He wrote that having a diploma not makes a professional of me, and his father for example was in Alps but it not makes an alpinist of him.

First I wanted to answer all what I think about this. It was obvious way of bulling because was not a discussion about the problems of the article. These “official faces” of the newspaper just wanted to abuse me because I am a woman and even diploma not makes me a professional and of course I cannot say smart things.

I erased all what I wanted to say to them, because understood I would be naïve don Quixote fighting with windmills. The only what I answered to them was: “Well done, guys! My regrets to your wives. You are the best examples of tolerance and respect to a woman”.

P.S. What I’ve learned from this experience. Yes, girls, we must to understand that sometimes we will receive humiliations not for our words but because we are women. I know it will not stop anyone of us. I just wanted to say, if a man is trying to abuse you like a woman it means first, he is coward, and second, he doesn’t have other arguments against what you say. Be strong! We are together!

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Tash's picture

thanks for sharing this, am

thanks for sharing this, am very passionate about gay rights and in my society most people don't get it, most times i will make a room awkwardly silent by just bringing it up.!
am surprised your only just having the first gay pride parade, we will be having a second one here in kampala soon, am sad i wont be here but it is important to educate people so their minds wont be clogged anymore! debate is good, it keeps people thinking and with thinking always comes reason , so keep speaking for these people.

Kind Regards,
Patsy.

Iryna's picture

Patsy, you are right, we need

Patsy, you are right, we need discussions to make people think for the beginning. This is the first step which will finally change people's attitude. We are not saints, and we don't have right to put abusive labels on people whoever they are.
We need tolerance and respect to each other. Yes, is difficult but I am sure we will find the way!
Thank you for your words!
Greetings from Ukraine,
Iryna

Leigh Anne Kranz's picture

Good for you!

Iryna,

I am stunned (but not entirely surprised) by the immature responses from these "professional" men. Your response was perfect! Humor and sarcasm can work wonders in these endeavors. :)

The U.S. is only NOW becoming more aware and respectful of the human rights of ALL people. It took brave and vocal people like you to make these changes here.

THANK YOU for your good work!

Leigh Anne

Iryna's picture

courage

People like you, Leigh Anne, give me courage to speak. Definetely I will not prove nothing to these guys, but even if just one person will read, think and change his or her mind it will be a victory for me. It already means attitude begins changing!
Thank you for support!
Warmest greetings,
Iryna

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