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violences conjuguales maltraitances faites au femmes

Tabou, il y a quelques années, la violence conjugale est de plus en plus médiatisée. Pour cause, en France il y a des centaines de milliers de femmes qui sont régulièrement battues. Alors comment s'en sortir ? Quelles sont les causes qui entrainent cette violence faites aux femmes ? Quels sont les recours face à cet enfer ? Autant de question que nous essayerons de répondre sur cet article.

Quelques chiffres avant de commencer : En France, il y a environ deux millions de femmes qui sont confrontées à une violence au niveau de son couple, soit une femme sur 10. Chaque mois, on évalue à dix le nombre de femmes qui meurent à cause de la violence conjugale. Enfin, la violence faite aux femmes ne concerne pas une catégorie sociale précise. Elle sévit dans tous les milieux sociocultures. Depuis mi mars 2007, un numéro d'appel est mis en place destiné aux femmes victimes de violences conjugales (femme battue) et aux témoins. Pour cela, appelé le 3919.

La cause principale : Un problème de domination
Dominer l'autre, c'est le point de départ de toute violence conjugale. Pour se faire, l'homme ou la femme violent(e) usera de différents moyens pour écraser l'autre. Ajouté à cela, l'alcool, la drogue..., la violence monte d'un cran et on n'arrive plus à contrôler ses gestes.

Cependant, il est important de bien distinguer violence et agressivité. Se disputer, monter la voix, casser la vaisselle ne signifie pas qu'il y a une situation de violence dans le couple.

Par contre, faire du harcèlement, frapper son partenaire, là il y a acte de violence. Il faut donc réagir car si votre mari ou femme l'a fait une fois, cette situation se répétera avec le temps. Il est donc urgent de consulter un spécialiste.

La violence psychologique : le début de l'enfer
Généralement, au début, la violence conjugale commence par une violence psychologique qui se manifeste par des propos désagreables : dénigrements systématiques, injures, humiliations répétés. C'est ce que les psychologues appellent 'l'emprise". La victime est donc cernée, il perd toute confiance ; tout desir est effacé. C'est pourquoi certaines femmes qui sont dans le gouffre se suicident.

La violence conjugale
Une fois cette étape franchie, le mari commence à faire le vide autour de sa femme. Il l'empêche ainsi sa conjointe de sortir avec ses copines, lui impose des tenues vestimentaires, parfois il peut aller jusqu'à demander à sa femme de démissionner de son travail. De là, toute situation peut déclencher une violence envers la personne dominée, toute contrariété est sujet à des coups.
Le pire, ce qu'à chaque fois, votre conjoint viendra s'excuser en jurant de ne plus recommencer. Isolé, la femme ne sait pas quoi faire, de plus la honte empêche de réagir. Des études ont montré que les hommes violents ou femmes ont une personnalité immature, narcissiques. Ils ont aussi parfois dans leurs enfances subies des violences.

Comment sortir de la violence conjugale
La première chose à faire est sans aucun doute de se mettre dans un lieu sûr. Pensez avant tout à vous et à votre bien-être. Dans les villes, il y a souvent des cellules spécialisés sur les violences conjugales : infos : 01 40 33 80 60. Autre solution, proposez à son conjoint de se faire soigner afin de comprendre son comportement.

Des associations sont là pour vous aider notamment l'APMF (Association pour la médiation familiale, tel : 01 43 40 19 32) ou la fédération nationale de la médiation familiale, tel : 02 31 46 87 87, site Internet : www.mediation-familiale.org). Enfin dernière solution, porter plainte pour violence conjugale. Pour finir, sachez que 1% des hommes sont aussi de violences conjugales

English translation by community member heidigjr

Taboo, since a few years ago, domestic violence has been increasingly publicised. For good reason - in France, there are hundreds of thousands of women who are beaten on a regular basis. How does one escape? What are the causes that lead to this violence against women? What are the remedies for this hell? So many questions that we will attempt to answer in this article.

Here are few statistics to start off with. In France, there are approximately two million women, or 1 out of 10 women, who face domestic violence. Each month, an estimated ten women die because of domestic violence. Finally, violence against women is not limited to a specific social class. It is rampant in all sociocultural environments. Since mid-March 2007, a hotline is available for female victims of domestic violence (battered women) and witnesses. To call the hotline, dial 3919.

The main cause: the problem of domination. The domination of the other is the starting point of all domestic violence. For this to be accomplished, the violent individual (man or woman) uses various means to silence the other. When alcohol, drugs, etc. are added to this, the violence climbs up a notch as they are unable to control their actions.

However, it is important to differentiate between violence and aggression. Arguing, raising one's voices, and breaking dishes does not mean that violence is an issue in the couple.

In contrast, harassment, hitting one's partner - these are acts of violence. We must therefore react when the husband or wife has done it once, this situation will repeat over time. It is therefore urgent to consult a specialist.

Emotional abuse: the beginning of hell
Generally, at the beginning, domestic violence begins with psychological violence, which is manifested by unpleasant remarks: systematic denigration, insults, repeated humiliation. This is what psychologists call 'control'. The victim is thus surrounded, he/she loses self-confidence; all desires fade.
This is why some women who are in the abyss commit suicide.

Domestic violence
Once this step has been taken, the husband begins to create a vacuum around his wife.
He prevents his wife from going out with her girlfriends, he dictates her outfits, and sometimes he demands his wife to resign from her job. Any situation can trigger violence against the victim, any annoyance is subjected to beatings.
What's worse, your spouse will apologize every time, vowing to reform. Isolated, the woman does not know what to do, and her shame prevents her from reacting. Studies have shown that violent men and women have an immature and narcissistic personality. They also have sometimes suffered from violence in their childhood.

How to escape domestic violence
Without a doubt, the first thing to do is to find shelter. Think of yourself and your well-being first. In the cities, there are often groups that specialize in domestic violence. Info: 01 40 33 80 60. Alternatively, encourage your spouse to seek treatment in order to understand his/her behavior.

There are organizations to help you, including the APMF (Association for Family Mediation), tel: 01 43 40 19 32 or the National Federation of Family Mediation, such as: 02 31 46 87 87, website: www.mediation-familiale.org. Finally, the last solution would be to speak out against domestic violence. To finish, keep in mind that 1% of men are also domestic violence victims.

Comments

heidigjr's picture

Translation

Taboo, since a few years ago, domestic violence has been increasingly publicised. For good reason - in France, there are hundreds of thousands of women who are beaten on a regular basis. How does one escape? What are the causes that lead to this violence against women? What are the remedies for this hell? So many questions that we will attempt to answer in this article.

Here are few statistics to start off with. In France, there are approximately two million women, or 1 out of 10 women, who face domestic violence. Each month, an estimated ten women die because of domestic violence. Finally, violence against women is not limited to a specific social class. It is rampant in all sociocultural environments. Since mid-March 2007, a hotline is available for female victims of domestic violence (battered women) and witnesses. To call the hotline, dial 3919.

The main cause: the problem of domination. The domination of the other is the starting point of all domestic violence. For this to be accomplished, the violent individual (man or woman) uses various means to silence the other. When alcohol, drugs, etc. are added to this, the violence climbs up a notch as they are unable to control their actions.

However, it is important to differentiate between violence and aggression. Arguing, raising one's voices, and breaking dishes does not mean that violence is an issue in the couple.

In contrast, harassment, hitting one's partner - these are acts of violence. We must therefore react when the husband or wife has done it once, this situation will repeat over time. It is therefore urgent to consult a specialist.

Emotional abuse: the beginning of hell
Generally, at the beginning, domestic violence begins with psychological violence, which is manifested by unpleasant remarks: systematic denigration, insults, repeated humiliation. This is what psychologists call 'control'. The victim is thus surrounded, he/she loses self-confidence; all desires fade.
This is why some women who are in the abyss commit suicide.

Domestic violence
Once this step has been taken, the husband begins to create a vacuum around his wife.
He prevents his wife from going out with her girlfriends, he dictates her outfits, and sometimes he demands his wife to resign from her job. Any situation can trigger violence against the victim, any annoyance is subjected to beatings.
What's worse, your spouse will apologize every time, vowing to reform. Isolated, the woman does not know what to do, and her shame prevents her from reacting. Studies have shown that violent men and women have an immature and narcissistic personality. They also have sometimes suffered from violence in their childhood.

How to escape domestic violence
Without a doubt, the first thing to do is to find shelter. Think of yourself and your well-being first. In the cities, there are often groups that specialize in domestic violence. Info: 01 40 33 80 60. Alternatively, encourage your spouse to seek treatment in order to understand his/her behavior.

There are organizations to help you, including the APMF (Association for Family Mediation), tel: 01 43 40 19 32 or the National Federation of Family Mediation, such as: 02 31 46 87 87, website: www.mediation-familiale.org. Finally, the last solution would be to speak out against domestic violence. To finish, keep in mind that 1% of men are also domestic violence victims.

heidigjr's picture

Le stigma

Benedicte, y a-t-il un stigma contre la femme si elle trouve l'aide contre le violence conjugale ? Si c'est le cas, comment peut-on changer cette mentalité pour que plusieurs femmes sont plus confortable à chercher l'aide contre l'homme violent ?
heidigjr

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