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violences sexuelles:femme battue quoi faire?

Le nombre de faits de violences volontaires sur les femmes par leur conjoint ou ex-conjoint est considérable. Cette violence vécu par les femmes, qu’elle soit physique, psychologique, économique ou sexuelle, semble pourtant toujours un sujet tabou, car très difficile à aborder pour celles qui subissent et elle est encore peu abordée dans les médias. Cette spirale infernale, peut continuer toute une vie ou s’arrêter un jour. C’est pourquoi il faut en parler.
Les femmes battues

Le terme femme battue fait référence en fait aux violences conjugales subis par les femmes. Les violences conjugales ne désignent pas forcément les femmes battues physiquement, elles regroupent aussi celles qui subissent des violences psychologiques, verbales (humiliations et insultes), économiques (la femme n’a pas accès à l’argent du couple) et sexuelles (viol).
Ces violences conjugales s’installent généralement lors d’une séparation ou d’un divorce, alors que le couple est établit. L’homme adopte progressivement à l’encontre de sa femme des comportements agressifs, violents, destructeurs, qui vont se répéter de plus en plus souvent. La femme a toujours l’espoir que cette situation cesse devant la promesse faite par son conjoint, de ne jamais recommencer. Mais la spirale s’installe, et la femme se renferme sur sa peur.
La vérité cachée

La violence psychologique faite sur les femmes prend du terrain dans les violences conjugales, car les conjoints savent bien qu’ils ne doivent pas laisser de marques (comme des bleus). Ces pourquoi, de plus en plus de femmes racontent qu’elles se font taper sur la tête, qu’elles sont réveillées en pleine nuit, qu’elles sont privées de nourriture, qu’on leur coupe le téléphone, retire les chéquiers,… et la liste est longue.
Mais ces femmes ont envie d'être à la hauteur, et généralement avec des enfants elles font tout pour que leur mariage tienne, mais aussi à cause de l'Entourage ou de la maison. Si elles échouent, elles se sentent culpabilisées et ont souvent peur des représailles.
Un phénomène de société

Beaucoup d’études sont faites, seulement depuis quelques années, afin de comprendre qu’elles pourraient être les causes de ses violences conjugales (qui touchent aussi les hommes dans très peu de cas). Bien entendu, dépression, alcoolisme, mal-être sont les premières de la liste (mais ce qui ne les excusent pas pour autant). Ensuite, certaines ont mise en avant le fait que la femme dans la société actuelle, est toujours représentée d’une façon sexiste, et que l’inégalité hommes/femmes peut peser dans la balance. Le fait que l'homme soit toujours montré comme dominant, pourrait jouer un rôle dans les cas de violences conjugales.

En France, aujourd'hui, 8 femmes meurent chaque mois sous les coups de leurs conjoints, et quand on sait que cette violence, qui s'exerce dans le cadre familial, tue aussi des enfants, il y a de quoi faire froid dans le dos.
Comment tenter de s’en sortir ?

La spirale de la violence qui est installée entraîne souvent un sentiment de culpabilité chez les femmes battues. Elles ne se voient plus comme victimes, et finissent par se dire qu’il y a bien une raison valable à tout ça. Elles ont peur et honte à la fois. C’est cet engrenage qui fait que certaines femmes, subissent des violences toute leur vie, car il est très difficile pour une victime de s’en sortir. Elles s’enferment et vivent avec la violence. Et une fois que le silence est installé, il est difficile d’en sortir. Avant de même imaginer pouvoir s’en sortir, les femmes victimes de violences conjugales, vont devoir elles-mêmes se persuader que tout doit s’arrêter, que la situation est dangereuse pour leur vie, qu’elles doivent partir.

Le premier conseil pour se sortir de cette violence conjugale est d’en parler : soit à votre entourage (mais qui parfois ne comprend pas, car le conjoint agit bien entendu tout autrement avec les autres), soit à une personne de confiance (un médecin, un Avocat ou une association, qui donnent de très bons conseils.

En France, un numéro existe : le 3919. Ce numéro est mis en place à l’intention des victimes et témoins de violences. Des assistantes sociales, éducatrices spécialisées et psychologues, répondent (en français, anglais, arabe, espagnol) à vos questions et peuvent vous aider et vous expliquer les démarches à suivre si vous voulez entamer une procédure judiciaire.
Les démarches

La première chose à faire est de signaler et consigner par écrit les violences. Pour cela, il est possible de déposer une plainte à la Police ou à la gendarmerie. Pour celles qui ne le souhaitent pas, elles peuvent déposer une main-courante au commissariat ou faire un procès-verbal à la gendarmerie.

Par contre, il est important de faire constater les violences par un médecin, au plus tôt. Le certificat médical de constatation est un élément de preuve utile dans le cadre d’une procédure judiciaire, même si celle-ci a lieu plusieurs mois après. Ce certificat peut être établi soit à l’hôpital, soit par un médecin généraliste.

Si vous le voulez, rassemblez les témoignages et déclaration de vos proches, amis, voisins, …. Ceux-ci permettront d’appuyer votre déclaration et, éventuellement, d’engager des poursuites judiciaires. Les témoignages écrits doivent être datés, signés et accompagnés d’une photocopie d'une pièce d’identité du témoin. Enfin, vous pouvez bénéficier de différentes aides financières (prise en charge des frais de justice, APL, ASSEDIC, allocation familiale…), et de mesures d’accompagnement. Renseignez-vous.
La campagne de l’ONU

C’est pour réduire l’ampleur de ce phénomène que l’ONU lance une campagne de sensibilisation « Femmes et hommes unis pour mettre fin à la violence à l’égard des femmes et des filles ». Prévue pour être diffusée de 2008 à 2015, cette campagne appelle les gouvernements, la société civile, les organisations de femmes, les jeunes, le secteur privé, les médias et l’ensemble du système des Nations unies à joindre leurs forces pour faire face à la pandémie mondiale de violence à l’égard des femmes et des filles . L’espoir de l’ONU étant que d’ici à 2015 tous les pays du monde aient une législation punissant toutes les formes de violence contre les femmes. L’ONU exige, dans le même sens, la prise en compte des violences sexuelles dans les situations de conflit dans toutes les politiques relatives à la paix et à la sécurité

English translation by community member MESSA

The number of wilful violence against women by their partners is considerable. No matter the form of the violence (physical, psychological, economical) sexual violence remains a taboo subject for the victims as well as for the media. This situation can either continue forever or end one day. That’s why; we need to talk about it.

Battered women

The above term refers mostly to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) where women are often the victims. This type of violence must not be physical, it could be psychological, verbal (humiliations and insults) economical (the woman has no access to the couple’s finances) and sexual (rape). This intimate partner violence often takes place during separation or divorce. The male partner becomes progressively aggressive and violent. Women most at times resist with the hope that the situation might get better after their partner apologises but things get worst and the woman gets isolated by her fear.

The hidden truth

Violence against women is more and more psychological since there are no physical marks. (Like the blue marks) More often, women complain being hit on the head, woken up late at night, they are deprived of food, they witness phone and financial cuts........ Just to name a few. But these women want to make it; they work hard for their marital home to stand for the sake of their children and for the sake of the household. When they fail, they feel guilty and fear reprisals.

Society phenomena

Several studies are made to find out the real causes of Intimate Partner Violence (where men are also victims in few cases). Depressions, alcoholism, are the main causes. Some have advanced the argument that the woman in the modern society is given a sexist representation thus a possible reason for female and male inequality. Also, the reason why men are often portrayed as dominant could have a role to play in situations of intimate partner violence.
In France today, 8 women die every month from Intimate Partner Violence. Moreover, when we think of the fact that this violence affects children as well, there’s reason to feel bad.

What’s the way out?

Battered women often end up feeling guilty. They stop feeling they are victims and give themselves reasons for their plight. They are both afraid and ashamed. That is the reason why some of these women decide not to open up and remain victims of violence throughout their lives. For these women to make it out, they must understand they are victims, they must decide to put an end to such a situation and understand that such violence is a threat to their life and that they have to let go.
The first step to gain assistance when suffering from violence is to talk about it; either to our entourage (who will not understand at times given the attitude vis a vis of them by the partner) or to a close relation (a doctor, a lawyer or an association which offers advises).
In France, a green number exists: it’s the 3919. This number serves victims and witnesses of violence. Social workers, psychologists answer questions in French, English, Arabic and Spanish and could give relevant advice on how to start a judicial case.

The way forward

The first thing to do is to report and record in violence in writing. For this, it is possible to drop a complaint at the police station. Another alternative consists of dropping a note at the police station or a minute at the police station.
However, it is important to have a medical check up as early as possible. A medical certificate is an essential proof in a judicial process even several months after. This certificate can be established either at the hospital or by a generalist doctor.

You could also take note of the testimony from close relations like friends, neighbours; this will be helpful to support your declarations during a judicial process. Written testimonies must be given dates, signature accompanied by an identification proof from the witness. Lastly, you could benefit from diverse financial aid (judicial bills, APL, ASSEDIC, dependents’ allowance...) and ways forward. Always ask for advises.

The UNO campaign

The UN seeks to reduce this phenomenon through its sensitisation campaign ‘’Women and Girls United to End Violence against Women and Children’’. This plan seeks to be implemented between 2008 and 2015. This campaign calls on governments, the civil society, women organisations, youths, the private sector, the media and the United Nations system at large to join forces against the world pandemic of violence against women and children. With this, the UN hopes that by 2015 all countries of the world would have legislations strong enough to curb violence against women. The UN demand that the cases of sexual violence against women in times of conflict must figure in all policies relating to peace and security.

This story was written for World Pulse’s Girls Transform the World Digital Action Campaign.

World Pulse believes that women's stories, recommendations, and collective rising leadership can—and will—bring girls greater access to education which will transform their lives, their families, and communities. The Girls Transform Campaign elicits insightful content from young women on the ground, strengthens their confidence as women, and ensures that influencers and powerful institutions hear their stories.
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Comments

Bonjour Princess,

Se fut un plaisir pour moi de vous lire tout en notant les conseils prariques que vous doneez aux femmes dans les situations de violences conjugales.

Merci aussi de lever vortre voix pour condamner ce vice qui mine notre societe actuelle dans laquelle tous les pays sont touches.

Esperons qu'a travers votre voix, les politiques tiendrons compte de ce vice et les inclueront dans les politiques publiques presente et futures.

Cordialement,

MESSA

Ghnadi un jour a dit, tout finira bien par s'arranger, et si tout ne s'arrange pas, ce que ce n'est pas encore la fin. Femme, garde espoir!!!!

Ghandi once said it will all get well at the end, and if it doesn't get well, then it is not yet the end.
Wo

BENEDICTE BULANGALIRE's picture

bjr messa

merci beaucoup à toi et j'espere que cela arrivera un jour. prenons courage. j'espere que vous allez bien

Bénédicte Bulangalire;
fille ambassadrice pour la paix

MESSA's picture

Translation

The number of wilful violence against women by their partners is considerable. No matter the form of the violence (physical, psychological, economical) sexual violence remains a taboo subject for the victims as well as for the media. This situation can either continue forever or end one day. That’s why; we need to talk about it.

Battered women

The above term refers mostly to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) where women are often the victims. This type of violence must not be physical, it could be psychological, verbal (humiliations and insults) economical (the woman has no access to the couple’s finances) and sexual (rape). This intimate partner violence often takes place during separation or divorce. The male partner becomes progressively aggressive and violent. Women most at times resist with the hope that the situation might get better after their partner apologises but things get worst and the woman gets isolated by her fear.

The hidden truth

Violence against women is more and more psychological since there are no physical marks. (Like the blue marks) More often, women complain being hit on the head, woken up late at night, they are deprived of food, they witness phone and financial cuts........ Just to name a few. But these women want to make it; they work hard for their marital home to stand for the sake of their children and for the sake of the household. When they fail, they feel guilty and fear reprisals.

Society phenomena

Several studies are made to find out the real causes of Intimate Partner Violence (where men are also victims in few cases). Depressions, alcoholism, are the main causes. Some have advanced the argument that the woman in the modern society is given a sexist representation thus a possible reason for female and male inequality. Also, the reason why men are often portrayed as dominant could have a role to play in situations of intimate partner violence.
In France today, 8 women die every month from Intimate Partner Violence. Moreover, when we think of the fact that this violence affects children as well, there’s reason to feel bad.

What’s the way out?

Battered women often end up feeling guilty. They stop feeling they are victims and give themselves reasons for their plight. They are both afraid and ashamed. That is the reason why some of these women decide not to open up and remain victims of violence throughout their lives. For these women to make it out, they must understand they are victims, they must decide to put an end to such a situation and understand that such violence is a threat to their life and that they have to let go.
The first step to gain assistance when suffering from violence is to talk about it; either to our entourage (who will not understand at times given the attitude vis a vis of them by the partner) or to a close relation (a doctor, a lawyer or an association which offers advises).
In France, a green number exists: it’s the 3919. This number serves victims and witnesses of violence. Social workers, psychologists answer questions in French, English, Arabic and Spanish and could give relevant advice on how to start a judicial case.

The way forward

The first thing to do is to report and record in violence in writing. For this, it is possible to drop a complaint at the police station. Another alternative consists of dropping a note at the police station or a minute at the police station.
However, it is important to have a medical check up as early as possible. A medical certificate is an essential proof in a judicial process even several months after. This certificate can be established either at the hospital or by a generalist doctor.

You could also take note of the testimony from close relations like friends, neighbours; this will be helpful to support your declarations during a judicial process. Written testimonies must be given dates, signature accompanied by an identification proof from the witness. Lastly, you could benefit from diverse financial aid (judicial bills, APL, ASSEDIC, dependents’ allowance...) and ways forward. Always ask for advises.

The UNO campaign

The UN seeks to reduce this phenomenon through its sensitisation campaign ‘’Women and Girls United to End Violence against Women and Children’’. This plan seeks to be implemented between 2008 and 2015. This campaign calls on governments, the civil society, women organisations, youths, the private sector, the media and the United Nations system at large to join forces against the world pandemic of violence against women and children. With this, the UN hopes that by 2015 all countries of the world would have legislations strong enough to curb violence against women. The UN demand that the cases of sexual violence against women in times of conflict must figure in all policies relating to peace and security.

Ghnadi un jour a dit, tout finira bien par s'arranger, et si tout ne s'arrange pas, ce que ce n'est pas encore la fin. Femme, garde espoir!!!!

Ghandi once said it will all get well at the end, and if it doesn't get well, then it is not yet the end.
Wo

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