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violences sexuelles

Le cas de ce père de 39 ans dont le fils rapporte qu'il lui demandait de "pincer son sexe, juste pour jouer..." balaie une première idée fausse qui colle à l'image de l'agresseur sexuel : celle selon laquelle il ne connaît pas sa victime. Dans la plupart des cas, au contraire, il s'agit d'un proche, voire d'un membre de la famille de la victime. La moitié des affaires de viol sont des incestes.

Par ailleurs, l'image du sadique satanique, pervers avec un grand "P", est loin de correspondre au profil de l'auteur de violences sexuelles. Dans l'affaire de ce père présumé incestueux, le rapport d'expertise psychiatrique ne fait état d'aucune perversité. Ce qui n'empêche pas de blâmer son rôle de père non assumé. Comme le relève, l'air indigné, la présidente : "Son fils a été placé chez une assistante maternelle, car ses parents sont incapables de s'en occuper."
Pédophile et notable

Quant au stéréotype de l'agresseur sexuel pauvre et sans formation, il n'est pas davantage justifié. Cette forme de violence touche l'ensemble des couches sociales. On peut être pédophile et notable, avoir une vie hétérosexuelle "normale" et s'intéresser de près à la pornographie infantile.

Enfin, il est faux de croire que l'auteur de violences sexuelles a un problème psychiatrique : "Moins de 5 % des auteurs de violences sexuelles sont atteints de maladies mentales", précise Jean Cano, psychiatre au centre hospitalier de Tours. Ces personnes présentent en revanche des troubles de la personnalité qui s'organisent autour d'un narcissisme fragile. "Un délinquant sexuel est dans le surinvestissement narcissique. C'est soi qui compte d'abord, et l'autre, considéré comme un objet, vient après et doit nécessairement aimer ça", résume le psychiatre Philippe Prévost. À la difficulté de prendre en compte "l'autre" s'ajoutent l'égocentrisme, l'immaturité, l'absence d'estime de soi ou la difficulté de supporter des frustrations.
La femme objet sexuel

C'est la raison pour laquelle les auteurs de violences sexuelles "assument difficilement leur position d'auteur et ont tendance à attribuer le passage à l'acte à l'attitude de la victime", souligne le psychologue Alain Harrault. L'exemple type, c'est la femme qui se promène en minijupe dans le métro à 1 heure du matin. Pour l'auteur de violences sexuelles, cette attitude pourrait signifier qu'elle recherche une relation sexuelle. Et la résistance opposée par leur proie ne modifiera pas cette perception.

"On retrouve ce type de croyance chez beaucoup de violeurs de femmes adultes", observe Jean Cano. Mais la réaction ou l'absence de réaction de la victime peut aussi prêter à confusion et générer un malentendu légitime. "Beaucoup de filles sont si traumatisées qu'elles ne disent rien, et l'autre peut croire qu'elles sont d'accord, note l'avocat pénaliste Grégoire Etrillard. Je pense que la parole est essentielle dans ces affaires où les récits se contredisent. Plutôt que de chercher à savoir ce qui s'est passé au détail près, il est important de savoir exprimer ce que les parties ont à dire, leurs émotions, leur ressenti", fait valoir l'avocat.

La femme est d'ailleurs souvent perçue comme une source de conflits, de déception et de frustration. Considérée comme manipulatrice et provocante, elle est souvent réduite au rang d'"objet", et donc d'objet sexuel. L'approche des pédophiles est un peu différente. Ces derniers, détaille Jean Cano, "idéalisent les enfants, car ils ont des problèmes relationnels avec les adultes. Pour juguler, par exemple, une phobie sociale, certains interprètent les attitudes des enfants dans une logique d'attente et de désirs sexuels envers l'adulte."
"La victime l'a cherché"

Ces fausses croyances ou pensées erronées sont parfois sous-tendues par des "distorsions cognitives". L'agresseur banalise, diminue ou rationalise les faits délictueux. Il remanie la réalité à sa façon, selon sa propre grille de lecture. Il est dans le déni, et cette attitude se manifeste aussi dans d'autres situations de sa vie. "Le déni est inconscient, il joue tant sur les émotions que sur le comportement et implique un refus de prendre conscience de ce dont on est responsable", décrypte Ingrid Bertsch, psychologue au CRIAVS (Centre ressource pour les intervenants auprès des auteurs de violences sexuelles) de la région Centre.

Cela conduit les auteurs de violences sexuelles non seulement à nier l'agression, mais à en reporter la faute sur celle qu'ils refusent de nommer "victime". Après tout, pourquoi témoigner de l'empathie envers une personne qui par hypothèse ne souffre pas ? Il en résulte que l'auteur de violences sexuelles qui persiste dans le déni n'éprouve ni culpabilité, ni honte, ni empathie envers les victimes. "Je n'y peux rien", disent certains. "La victime l'a cherché", se défendent d'autres.

English translation by community member MESSA

The son of a 39 years old man reports pinching his father’s sex at his request during jokes. the image of the sexual harrasser is usually unknown to the victim. In most cases, it is either a close relationship or a family member of the victim. Most rape issues are incest.

To another extent, the image of this perverse does not correspond to that of a sexual harasser. In the case of this father, presumably incest, the expertise psychiatric report does not mention a perverse action, even though his role as a father remains questionable. The president indignantly reported that this son had been kept with a child minder given the inability of his parents to give him proper care; Paedophilia and traditional leader.

However, the actions of the perverse sexual aggressor cannot be justified. Such violence is felt at every class of the society. One could be a paedophilia and a community leader, have a normal heterosexual life and have a close or un interest to infant paedophilia.

It is wrong to feel that the sexual harasser has psychiatric problems. Less than 5% of sexual harassers suffer from mental disorder, Says Jean Cano, psychiatric at the Tours hospital centre. These people instead have personality troubles from fragile self centred needs in which they expect everyone to act the way they expect as stated by the psychiatrist Philippe Prevost. The difficulty of accepting the other is backed by egocentrism, immaturity, lack of self esteem and the difficulty to tackle frustrations.

Considering the woman as a sex object

This is the reason why sexual harassment authors are never bold enough to be responsible of their actions. They attribute it to the attitude of the victim as the psychologist Alain Harrault states. The frequent example is that of the woman at the metro at 1 am in miniskirts. For the author of sexual harassment, this attitude conveys her need for sexual relations, and the resistance from the victim, will not modify this perception.

This belief is shared among those who harass adult women. The reaction or the lack of reaction from the victim breeds in confusion and generate legitimate misunderstanding. ‘Some girls are so traumatised to report the act and this prompts some be believe the act was agreed as noted the penalist Gregroire Etrillard. The lawyer state that he believes that speaking out is important in rape issues where the victims speaks and contradict themselves. Instead of trying to have all the details, it’s better to listen to the different parties, their emotions, and their feelings.

The woman is often considered a source of conflict, disappointment and frustration. She is considered manipulative and prevocational. She’s often considered as an object, and most often, a sexual object. Paedophilias approach is somehow different. According to Jean Cano, the latter ‘idealise their children because they have interactive problems with adults’. In order to compensate a social phobia, for example, some interpret children’s attitude as the expression of sexual desire towards adults’.

The victim asked for it.

These are believes or erroneous thoughts which at times support discussions. The aggressor banalises, reduces or rationalise delicate actions. He modifies the truth in his own way, as it best suits him. He denies his acts which is part of his everyday life. His denial plays on his emotions and behaviour and implies he’s unconsciously responsible of his actions explains Ingrid Bertsch, psychologist at CRIAVS (The Resource Centre for the Intervention in the Action of Sexual Harassment Authors) for the South region.

This enables the sexual aggressor not only to deny committing the act but to put the blame on the person they refuse to consider a victim. After all, why feel sorry for someone who’s not suffering? It results that the author of sexual violence who insists on denying his act does not feel any regret, shame or empathy towards the victim. ‘i just can’t help’ shout out some of them. ‘The victim looked for it’ say others to defend themselves.

Comments

MESSA's picture

Merci pour votre mail

Bonsoir Benedicte,

ce fut un plaisir pour moi de vous lire et de comprendre votre attitude negative face a la pedophile en particulier et aux aggreesions sexuelles en generale. qu'a cela ne tienne, je pense que le monde est suffisament pervers pour la femme de se mettre en garde. elle est vulnerable, et sans vouloir ligitimer les propos des violeurs, la femme devrait se mefier, et ne pas se trouver seule dans des endroits malsains toute seule.

Merci une fois de plus de lever votre voix pour decrier les violecnces faites aux femmes dans votre communaute et dans le monde entier.

Cordialement,
MESSA

Ghnadi un jour a dit, tout finira bien par s'arranger, et si tout ne s'arrange pas, ce que ce n'est pas encore la fin. Femme, garde espoir!!!!

Ghandi once said it will all get well at the end, and if it doesn't get well, then it is not yet the end.
Wo

MESSA's picture

Translation

The son of a 39 years old man reports pinching his father’s sex at his request during jokes. the image of the sexual harrasser is usually unknown to the victim. In most cases, it is either a close relationship or a family member of the victim. Most rape issues are incest.
To another extent, the image of this perverse does not correspond to that of a sexual harasser. In the case of this father, presumably incest, the expertise psychiatric report does not mention a perverse action, even though his role as a father remains questionable. The president indignantly reported that this son had been kept with a child minder given the inability of his parents to give him proper care; Paedophilia and traditional leader.
However, the actions of the perverse sexual aggressor cannot be justified. Such violence is felt at every class of the society. One could be a paedophilia and a community leader, have a normal heterosexual life and have a close or un interest to infant paedophilia.
It is wrong to feel that the sexual harasser has psychiatric problems. Less than 5% of sexual harassers suffer from mental disorder, Says Jean Cano, psychiatric at the Tours hospital centre. These people instead have personality troubles from fragile self centred needs in which they expect everyone to act the way they expect as stated by the psychiatrist Philippe Prevost. The difficulty of accepting the other is backed by egocentrism, immaturity, lack of self esteem and the difficulty to tackle frustrations.
Considering the woman as a sex object
This is the reason why sexual harassment authors are never bold enough to be responsible of their actions. They attribute it to the attitude of the victim as the psychologist Alain Harrault states. The frequent example is that of the woman at the metro at 1 am in miniskirts. For the author of sexual harassment, this attitude conveys her need for sexual relations, and the resistance from the victim, will not modify this perception.
This belief is shared among those who harass adult women. The reaction or the lack of reaction from the victim breeds in confusion and generate legitimate misunderstanding. ‘Some girls are so traumatised to report the act and this prompts some be believe the act was agreed as noted the penalist Gregroire Etrillard. The lawyer state that he believes that speaking out is important in rape issues where the victims speaks and contradict themselves. Instead of trying to have all the details, it’s better to listen to the different parties, their emotions, and their feelings.
The woman is often considered a source of conflict, disappointment and frustration. She is considered manipulative and prevocational. She’s often considered as an object, and most often, a sexual object. Paedophilias approach is somehow different. According to Jean Cano, the latter ‘idealise their children because they have interactive problems with adults’. In order to compensate a social phobia, for example, some interpret children’s attitude as the expression of sexual desire towards adults’.
The victim asked for it
These are believes or erroneous thoughts which at times support discussions. The aggressor banalises, reduces or rationalise delicate actions. He modifies the truth in his own way, as it best suits him. He denies his acts which is part of his everyday life. His denial plays on his emotions and behaviour and implies he’s unconsciously responsible of his actions explains Ingrid Bertsch, psychologist at CRIAVS (The Resource Centre for the Intervention in the Action of Sexual Harassment Authors) for the South region.
This enables the sexual aggressor not only to deny committing the act but to put the blame on the person they refuse to consider a victim. After all, why feel sorry for someone who’s not suffering? It results that the author of sexual violence who insists on denying his act does not feel any regret, shame or empathy towards the victim. ‘i just can’t help’ shout out some of them. ‘The victim looked for it’ say others to defend themselves.

Ghnadi un jour a dit, tout finira bien par s'arranger, et si tout ne s'arrange pas, ce que ce n'est pas encore la fin. Femme, garde espoir!!!!

Ghandi once said it will all get well at the end, and if it doesn't get well, then it is not yet the end.
Wo

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