Bringing Up Boys
It is true that every girl has a story to tell, but what about the little boys?
Do we allow them into our womens' world, or send them to play with toys?
Do we, too soon, hand them over to older boys and rough, silent men?
Are we failing the future fathers by not teaching them to befriend women?
Underneath their bluster, they are as afraid as we of looking incompetent;
We must help them understand the sacred unions for which they're meant.
Instead of separating boys from mothers and sisters, we should include them,
Watching over both carefully as they learn how to be complementary friends.
When my son was born, I put into his arms a doll called Little Brother
So he could play at fathering while his sister played at being a mother.
He helped me cook; I kept him close until he was in his teens
He became one of the most compassionate fathers that I have ever seen.
Holding a woman's hand as she gives birth takes great bravery;
A father can't truly understand what he's not allowed to see.
Holding an innocent son or daughter as the baby takes the first breath
Creates a bond that, to break it, would put heaven and earth to the test.
Men are programmed very early to destroy what they don't understand;
To question and wait for the answer is the mark of an adult human.
We must focus on teaching all children to use their own words well;
Only then will they respect the stories that others have to tell.
Men cannot continue to create and destroy, then simply walk away;
When they face their own consequences, they'll learn to responsibly play.
They must learn about reproduction as a sacred rite of responsibility;
Only then will they be able to face the realities of family, fear free.