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A sister’s keeper is one mouthful from the sea

“I can’t do this anymore!”
Those were the words of my colleague and I looked up at her wondering “what now”?
She repeated “I cannot do this work anymore”. And that was when it dawned on me what she was talking about. I was trying to block it out of my mind and I even made to her a gesture of ‘block it” but I knew I was lying to myself. We had just had a brief meeting with a lady who visited our office. I will call her Hope, since that’s all that can help her live on. Hope had made a decision earlier in her life as to how she want to live, but when I was called and met her she was not living that dream. She was holding her 2 month’s old second born baby boy who seemed more interested in watching the lights, shades, and other colors than breastfeed. He is happy, and ignorant of circumstances around him.

Hope wanted to consecrate her life to God by living as a nun. People chose different vocations in life, and hope to find God in those vocations. It could be marriage, single life or religious life. She had chosen the religious life and she was living the best of what she could until it happened. One day, some man abducted and raped her, and took her to be his 9th wife! South Sudan has been at war for a while, until the Comprehensive Peace Agreement in 2005. The violence is not completely over, but to a large extent in most areas there is peace. But not for Hope! What does peace mean to this woman who was brutally raped, forced into marriage, ran away, was taken back and now has her second child from a man she hardly knows and fears. To make matters worse, the man tore all her certificates so now she can only say she has done some academic courses but nothing to prove. She has no resources to enable her travel to Uganda where she schooled to get some copies of certificates. She is now living with her mother and hardly able to fend for herself and her children.

How does one continue encountering these and remain sane? That was the question my colleague was alluding to. Her passion for women’s emancipation and more on gender based violence against women is an issue we have in common, no wonder she called me to also meet this young woman. As I listened to Hope amid tears that she struggled to control, the thoughts that crossed my mind were nothing hopeful. I was wondering how many more ‘HOPES’ are barely existing due to low self-esteem caused by such violations. Women’s violations during war are so common that one shudders thinking about these. Where will our sisters, mothers, be safe? This is not only in countries in conflict but common even in the so called ‘peaceful’ countries.

Last week I saw a clip aired on a Kenyan media house about gang rapes happening in some part of Nairobi. It is insane!! Why do human beings subject other human beings to such? When will women be safe? The helplessness that one feels encountering such women makes one feel like closing eyes very tight and assume it is not happening. It can get overwhelming, very sad, very draining. The saddest part for every woman knows it can happen to you, me, my sister, my mother…to any woman or girl. The ‘sadddestestest’ knowing that such perpetrators usually go scot free and continue causing harm all over.

When will it ever stop? Sometimes it feels like trying to scoop water from the sea. I am encouraged by the words of the Late Wangari Maathai, that like a humming bird I can do the little I can, everyone passionate about the cause can do something little. Get one mouthful of water from the sea. Sometimes it’s the least we can do, touch one woman’s life and be a sister’s keeper. Sometimes it is what one sister just needs.

Comments

Susan K.A.'s picture

Thank you for your piece

Thank you for doing the work that you're doing, Sophie. It must be totally overwhelming at times. There is so much insanity in the world--the horrors that are inflicted on people by each other is beyond imagining. It is frightening that the human heart can hold so much hate--can lack any conscience or tenderness. I agree that we all must do our own part (in ways large and small), in our own corner of influence, to be of service where we can. If we do this, love and healing will multiply. Thank you for being YOU.

Love, Susan

______________________________________________________________________________

"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being."
-Hafiz

Sophie's picture

love and healing will multiply

I like that "love and healing will multiply" if we all do our part in our own little ways where we can

Sophie Ngugi
Child of the Universe -www.sophiengugi.blogspot.com

Deqa's picture

Dear Sophie

My dear dear Sophie, speaking up and raising your voice for this young lady and many others like her is the start, and you are right, we start with the little we can do and then as Susan said "love and healing will multiply". I always feel hopeless when I cant find a magic wand to erase all the suffering and crimes in my country, but I just try to find a small shred of hope somewhere, and hold on to it so that i don't lose my sanity.
You and your friend are doing an awesome job being a sisters keeper and giving relief and comfort and a listener to our sisters who are suffering in war zones.
Keep sharing my dear, I always like reading your stories it keeps me focused and inspires me every time.
Love
Deqa

Sophie's picture

true...

True that sense of helplessness when one wishes to eliminate all the world's suffering!

Sophie Ngugi
Child of the Universe -www.sophiengugi.blogspot.com

JaniceW's picture

Inspired by your works every day

Sophie,

Oh, how I wish I could give you a hug. I know how overwhelming your work must be at times and how easily it would be to give up. But you don't. You are always there for your sisters no matter what is happening within your own life. You are such an inspiration. Your strength reminds me of a saying of Rabindranath Tagore:

"Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain but for the heart to conquer it."

You may not be eliminating all of the world's suffering but you definitely relieve some of the suffering of the women you touch every day. My heart and love are with you.
Janice

Sophie's picture

Hugs

Thanks Janice, I receive those hugs in the air..

Sophie Ngugi
Child of the Universe -www.sophiengugi.blogspot.com

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