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Missing my Son

I have taken a stand against my son and his father "joking" in a very derogatory fashion about women, including me. My son is now keeping me from his family. I attended a baby shower today for the first grandson of a friend. These are my emotions about my loss of my own grandson and son.

Fairness and Family
I knew that my upbringing was not the path I wanted to follow;
I could either seek a new path, or in my history's misery, wallow.
I chose to seek a way that made compassionate sense to me,
So I could bring up my children with personal responsibility.

The hardest thing I've ever done is to stay true to my spirit,
Especially when persecuted when anyone else would hear it.
I am one individual woman, with a determined place on our earth;
Told I must not question the rules under which I'd been given birth..

My parents followed, precisely, the rules in which they were raised.
At least the rules forbade murder; for that they should be praised.
I chose to push for faster progress in the path to full humanity,
Sooner than my siblings, friends, and their society could agree.

I have held fast, alone, to my visions of enlightenment;
This is not a path on which I'd have chosen to be sent.
It is simply the path that I received by my parents' default,
In looking for family that taught by example, not assault.

Will humans ever see that peace is brought on by example?
The stories of this leadership should be, at this time, ample.
The missions of Moses, Jesus, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King
All lead to earthly paradise that non-violent resistance brings.

When will we accept that killing only breeds more of the same?
War isn't a path by which peace on earth will ever be gained.
I have raised my children and helped with theirs; I'm now free
To stand in the way of abusers, so peace can finally come to be.

Do not take my grandson in your quest for supremacy;
I have more experience than the warrior you want him to be.
There is no greater power than a mother protecting her young;
This is the warrior's true song that must be, eternally, sung.

Do not try to convince me that God is a father of fury;
I am, as a mother, a more powerful lawyer, judge, and jury.
I will not banish my children, but I will stand firm;
They can't live in my home without the lessons I insist they learn.

This isn't a way to resist differences of cultures or opinions;
It's to stop us, from excitement of differences, becoming minions.
There are many things that intrigue us in our vast universe,
That we can and should explore in order to intelligently converse.

This is not, and should not, be meant to be an open invitation
To adopting or accepting these new influences in our nation.
These differences should be seen as possible spices in the mix
To a recipe that, from the beginning of our country, has been fixed.

The religion of my children is the Constitution of the United States;
This is the belief system to which I, before their births, could relate.
I will not return to the religion of my parents before me; and theirs.
The United States' freedoms are those to which my children are heirs.

I am very aware that the founders, in their leadership, were flawed,
But I know that they were greatly gifted humans, not completely gods.
We are uniquely, with the blessings bestowed on us by democracy,
From the patterns, of our parents and theirs, allowed to break free.

There are many in my country who, in their fear, want to go back
To the world of their parents in which much freedom they lacked.
I do understand the fear of change with all its uncertainty,
But, from the bonds of our parents' faults, we must break free.

We learn from their example, that killing leads to more of the same.
Do we want for our universal peace, on our human earth, regain?
If we want to live in harmony with our sisters and brothers,
We must listen and follow the cries of our suffering mothers.

We give birth to our children, risking the lives of our own;
Killing of your siblings is not the seed we wish to be sown.
Any father telling you to risk your sacred life for enemies of theirs
Is not promoting the sacred divinity in which you should share.

I am your mother, telling you to stand against oppression;
Not to join others in the vulnerable ones' repression.
I have never stood behind you to shield myself from danger;
It is time that you learn to channel your own outrage and anger.

The quest that you began for fairness when you were young
Is not a song that you should never have freely sung.
It is simply that, until you saw your individual strengths,
You couldn't understand the position for which you're meant.

I am no longer able to guide what you should become;
I know that my input, in fact, makes you from me, run.
I wait with open heart, mind, and spirit to welcome you
As part of me and my partner's values to which we're true.

I simply can't stay silent as you succeed at fitting in
By denying the love we share in the presence of other men.
I have lived my life attempting to break history's mold,
Working for the peace on earth that has been foretold.

This can only be accomplished through redefining men
As, not only protectors, but also as women's friends.
Why are you so ashamed to feel such love for me?
My spirit will live in you and your children for eternity.

I may die without your beautiful face and your family,
But the gift of your Sacred Spirit will, eternally, live in me.
How blessed I have been in life to be the vessel of your birth.
Your love for me has been part of my heaven on this earth.


Aurore's picture

Good luck

You write very beautifully. I wish your family could acknowledge this and that you could be reunited with your son and grandchildren. You must be very brave to defend women against your son and his father.
Warm greetings

Y's picture

Thank you for your kind

Thank you for your kind words.

They are not physically abusive, and each of them is a product of bullying by the men in their pasts. Until men stop treating each other as wild animals, there is only so much we women can do to combat their bonding rituals. I have always loved my father, my children's father, and my son. I simply won't allow them to bully me, especially in front of my children over whom I am given responsibility. This breaks down my authority, and I am powerless to protect or lead the children.

These men simply don't know how damaging anarchy is in any community or society. The animals attack the responsible, compassionate humans. Any who speak out against the animal behavior are rejected from the "pack." I am not brave, simply attempting to productively channel my great grief.


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