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Gentle Parenting

Were you spanked as a kid? Did your parents use forms of corporal punishment? Mine did!

Let me tell you it did nothing for me!

I know, I know, "spare the rod spoil the child". But, "the rod" is actually what a shepherd uses to guide his sheep! We need to guide our children and teach them. When they get out into the world people aren't going to hit them when they do something wrong or run into a problem that needs to be solved, they will fix it through communication. We need to teach our children from a young age that communication is powerful. Parents have to keep calm (and we all know how hard that is!) because your child does hear what you say! They take things to heart, so if you yell or talk them down they are going to take note of your words and your manner of deliverance. It works best if you get down to your child's level, explain what they did right and what they did incorrectly, explain how it should be done very clearly, and let them resume what they were doing. If they do it again, tell them that you've already explained how it should actually work and ask them what you told them to do, if they answer incorrectly or don't know explain it again and then put them in a timeout and don't start the time until they are calm, if they answer correctly ask them why they didn't follow through then, after they answer place them in timeout and don't start the time until they are calm. If the action continues on revoke a privilege and explain they can have it back once their actions are proper.

The Bible tells us to treat others how we would want to be treated, that includes children! I would not want to be hit, I'd want to be taught.

We need to raise well disciplined but yet confident and happy children! Do not slack with the discipline even though it doesn't involve corporal punishment. Discipline actually means to teach, so through teaching our children they will become well disciplined. Discipline and punishment are two entirely different things!

Please share your thoughts and opinions! I love to hear other people's views!

Comments

Deqa's picture

Agree with you 120%

I definitely agree with you my dear. My whole society uses physical punishment. From home to school, its completely accepted in the society and I have hard time finding a way to abolish this awful act. In school we are beaten, i mean beaten with a stick so that the teachers will force us to obey them and listen to them. And across the country kids are beaten at home and its widely accepted. This definitely needs to be changed but it will take a tremendous amount of work and awareness campaigns to change this.
I for one never really responded to physical violence and I much rather if I was corrected and told what I did right or wrong. I have a strong threshold for pain and I would just take beating just to prove a point; the point being they cant make me do any thing by beating me. I remember one day the teacher was beating me so bad just to say I was wrong and apologize but I refused and he beat me real bad that i was swollen all over but i refused to say i was sorry, and eventually he got tired and said she is a stone. And imagine I was a good kid, straight A's, good discipline and everything and the reason why i did not want to admit defeat is because I did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing wrong and I was very sure that I was right but he just did not want me to challenge him.
I think children should not be treated like enemies and forced to obedience because that is not raising a kid or teaching them anything, that is just ABUSE. I always say I would never beat my kids and I work so hard to avoid the societal pressure in physical violence and punishment. I hope I can at least get support to stand up to this awful and shameful culture of punishment, because its never spoken about and nobody listens to me when I talk about the problems of physical abuse and its long lasting effect.
Our prophet never beat a child and people seem to think they are abiding by the religion to commit these crimes against children but truth is they are wrong.
My dear thank you for sharing this, I wanted to share my story about child abuse over here and I am glad you gave me the opportunity.
Keep sharing.. and again thank you for sharing this.
Love
Deqa

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