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i love my life

(this is an entry from my journal, a journal i keep to write how i feel and things that bother me)

i have grown up hating(i could use that word)my own life and somewhere i realized i had to change because i couldn't even let people close i had this wall created that not many brought it down but when they did they always hurt me so it became an issue and i had to stop and start just letting go of things and love me....i always believed that crying is a weakness and especially being a female that was weird because women are known to cry anytime any place but i never did...i have grown up mostly like men do hardened by life at a young age where you mature before your time/age and learning how sad n unhappy life can be at times...but last year i got a chance to come to Germany and in my heart it felt like a new start and i knew i was being given a chance..i have a friend who i hold close and i wrote him a letter to explain why i needed to leave home...i told him i have always felt like a failure and i needed that to change that i had to fall in love with my own life and just in case someone asked me who i was i would have an answer..he got mad at me for leaving but we cool..now life here in Germany hasn't been a cup of coffee but i cant complain....11 months later i sit here writing my blog sharing my life with the world but i am not the same person anymore...i have been through it all; pain, laughter and it can get a bit lonely without family around since they all each at different places but i have learnt to be a better person, a stronger one and at last i love who i have become and i love my life, i can love and let be loved knowing that even love can hurt but then again isn't that the way we appreciate love? i must say it has been a long journey but i look at it and i regret nothing because now i can laugh even when in pain because i know that makes me a better person if i chose to let all the experiences of life be my teacher.......i am a girl, a woman, a lady, a sister, a niece, a daughter, an aunt, a lover, a friend and someday maybe i'll be a wife, a mother, a grandmother but i am now proud of myself and couldn't be much happier.My time here in Germany is almost up but am glad because i have accomplished what i wanted and i can now say I Love My Life and i fall in love with it everyday.

Comments

JaniceW's picture

Karibu

Your words are so powerful and I believe that by you telling your story, one more voice may feel empowered to speak out and take a stand for herself. I encourage you to reach out to other members, or start a dialogue by commenting on another journal entry. We have almost 150 members from Kenya so you will find a lot of support and love from your African sisters. If you start to have doubts about the beauty of your uniqueness and spirit, just reach out of one of your sisters. Here, your voice will ring out and be heard.

I am so happy that you have joined our Voices of Our Future and Rafiki Club groups. You might also want to consider joining "Jambo, Hello from Kenya!" moderated by our beautiful Leah Auma Okeyo, who has brought together women from all over who brainstorm solutions, pose questions, test ideas and support each other's visions. It can be found at http://www.worldpulse.com/pulsewire/groups/1474.

There are so many amazing groups here, full of inspired and strong voices. I have no doubt you will find PulseWire to be engaging, inspiring and thought-provoking, and that in time, through their voices, you will feel empowered to stand up and shout "I love being me!!" Welcome to the sisterhood of rising voices.
Janice
PulseWire Community Director

dr edonna's picture

Your voice was wonderfully heard

Thanks for the honestly with which you wrote, I pray you cry more, shout more and speak more!!! Keep living it up and you will love it more!

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