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Raped shsssssssssssss

Rape is perhaps an under-reported crime in all schools across the country and in the Nigerian society in general. If the incident had occurred in a village school in the middle of nowhere, or away from the school premises in the house of the schoolteacher, where no one would listen to the girl's cries, it would have most likely gone unreported. There are many young girls out there who have been defiled by male teachers who lure them to dark corners, or to their homes. Out of fear or shame or a combination of both, the girls keep quiet forever, but the psychological scar remains. In co-ed schools, the villain may not necessarily be the male teacher, but the male student or a gang of male students who have formed a habit of raping their pretty female colleagues.

Married women are not spared. They are subjected to all kinds of irresponsible compliments on their looks and dressing. For example, "Madam, your husband must be enjoying oh!" (Enjoying what?). Or "Madam, you don't look bad at all, you don't look like you have been to the maternity ward" (So?). Or "Madam, I hope your husband appreciates what he has" (What if he doesn't?). Or "Madam, if you were not married, I would have given everything to be your husband" (Now that she is, what are you going to do, commit suicide?). Young girls are particularly vulnerable in the face of this widespread chauvinism. They can be easily overpowered. Poverty, parental negligence and the moral crisis in society have also all combined to make rape so tempting. Besides, rape is stigmatized. Very few women are willing to press charges for rape.

No Nigerian policeman would take such a case seriously. The woman is likely to be asked to go and settle with her husband. It is for this same reason that bigamy is a dead law in our country. Rape is equally difficult to prove in a court of law, the processes and requirements are humiliating for the affected woman

This sough is spreading far ,while some talk about it, some remain mute to this issues,and as long as this continue in the society,our children are in danger.

As a VOF 2013 applicant,it will be an honor to be selected as a Voice of the future correspondent, because it will avail me the chance to be trained by men and women of verse experience, which will mentor me on how to act and spread my advocacy for this cause, i know that this will be a stepping stone to help my project to grow and thrive, helping women and children heal from their wounds.

Comments

How difficult is for us women do not belong our bodies, our futures and our own decisions? You are very aware of these issues and how they are being neglected for religious or social reasons. I really hope you will be one of the voices of the future; we need your strong voice in the region.

Recibe un fuerte abrazo
Klaudia

Klaudia González

Myrthe's picture

Thank you

Thank you for sharing this. At the very end you mention your project. I wonder if you could tell us more about it. I'd be very interested to hear more about your plans and ideas!

nnenna's picture

Rape a No No

Thank you for your comment kladia, Women have gone and will still go through rape, but the facts still remain that without finding a common voice against this violation of the woman bodies, rape will still continue. The rape victims do not just go through the agony of being rape but against the psychological trauma that may linger on for a life time, most of the time the psychological effect is deeper more traumatic than the rape incident itself.

I was once rape,the sigma in my society couldn't allow me to voice out my pains,but over the years i learnt to deal with my pain, i now talk about it, lucky me, some will live and die never healing from the trauma, as you know, the psychological wound is deeper than the physical wound.

I want to fight this fight and need all the mentoring i can get, still praying that i will be selected for the voice of the future

NNENNA

nnenna's picture

Hi myrthe

Hi myrthe, thank you for reading my post, the trend of rape have continue to double over the year even though the advocacy against this surge have tripled ,but the underlining factor is that rape victims refuse to talk about their experiences and this have not decided much in persecution of the violators.
Most of the time we find that the wound left behind on those rape victims are even more traumatic than the rape itself, some live the rest of their life disabled psychological.

The punishment and persecution the offenders remain the highest priority, but this rape victims find solace in the fact that they will not be blamed for being rape,to find a friend to hold on to and listen to their stories, gives them hope.

my project is to create a center that will carter for the psycological and mental need of the rape victims through counselling, they need to speck out for proper action and continue advocacy against rape to continue, because physical wound heals faster but psychological wound last a life time

NNENNA

surfgirl-CA's picture

Hi, Nnenna

... your voice really comes through in this piece. I can hear the frustration, anger & disgust re. this topic. I did not know this about your area in Nigeria. It's true in virtually every culture, except N. & S. American Indian & Asian ones, that I have traveled in ,that men will harass women on the street UNLESS the society disallows it via law & enforcement. That seems pathetic, doesn't it, that one gender feels it can trespass the boundaries of the other gender so often? I really think in many cases that men have no idea of the trauma that they inflict -- they really need to be educated so as not to objectify women. The outright offenders need to be tried and sentenced in some fashion... THEN educated. We should have pity for the men/boys as well as the women/girls... they really tear down "half the sky." They have no idea how it hurts them as well. Good luck with you program. Good luck w/ VOF also.

surfgirl-CA --
When we come from the willingness to love, not fear, we will see the best and highest materialize in our world.
Quand nous venons à partir de la volonté à l'amour, pas la peur, nous allons voir le meilleur et le plus élevé se matérialise

nnenna's picture

lets break the rape silent

Hi surgirl thanks for your insight to rape, in Nigeria, rape is often not talked about, because the victim is always blamed for being rape, they tell you that your dressing make you vulnerable to rape,this society even blames you for being rape, the law enforcement agency even blames you for the rape, the victims become silent and deals with the bitterness, some overcome the trauma of rape,while most of the victim live the guilt, and psychological depression all their life, what a inhuman way to live but with proper counselling the victim heal from her wound and is able to recount issues and proper prosecution can take place.

I just hope the law would take it cause and our government will enact law which will hasting the cases in our law court.

NNENNA

innerdelight's picture

Courage to Speak Up

Hi Nnenna,

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes such courage to speak up when you have been violated, especially when society condemns you as a woman. I agree with you that it is so very important to heal the psychological scars. When women have a safe and sacred space where they can share their experiences and then have the support to release the ways this has affected them, these women come out empowered and will have a fire in their belly which will radiate from them, naturally forming an energetic boundary not to be trespassed.
This is tribal healing at its core... all the generations of women whose voices have been silenced.

The beauty of being able to connect online has made it possible for women to come together in their own tribes and receive and give the support they require. I can totally see you as tribe leader in this way.

What a blessing you are.Keep on shining your light and holding your vision for a future where women are honored and cherished and rape is a thing of the past.

I love how you see being a VOF will support you to share your vision: "...mentor me on how to act and spread my advocacy for this cause, i know that this will be a stepping stone to help my project to grow and thrive, helping women and children heal from their wounds."

joyful blessings,
Tina

nnenna's picture

Joyful blessings to you too

Thank you Tina for reading my post, i was scared for years,silent to my pains,my family knew nothing about my pain but i grew out of my pain, it was really hard i tell you, i hated dark places and men, and life was too painful, but i bless God that i was never pregnant or infected.

I healed from my wound but many never do,i know their pains,i have being there.
I tell my story to help heal my wound and the wound of others.

NNENNA

rozjean's picture

An Admirable Goal

Dear NNENNA,
Unfortunately, issues surrounding rape seem to be a common theme throughout the world. Just this morning I read an article in the Los Angeles Times that students and activists have filed "complaints against colleges and universities nationwide, alleging that schools have failed to follow federal laws, including those involving the reporting of sexual assaults and discrimination." Two of Californina's most prestigious universities were among those receiving complaints. Becoming an advocate for women who have been raped is, indeed, an admirable goal. I was interested to find out through your correspondence with Myrhe that you are planning to start a center that will care for those who have been victims of this insidious crime. I wish you the best of luck.
Warm wishes,
rozjean

Mila's picture

Thank you

Dear Nnenna,

Thank you so much for writing and sharing with us. It is sad to be reminded once again how serious a problem rape is around the world. You are a powerful writer. I really loved how your wrote the comments from men in quotes and then the response women would think in parentheses--so creative and effective. It would good to get to read your ideas for solutions when you answered other reader's comments. Next time, please include them in your writing.
All the best to you in your brave journey to improve women's lives.

We are supporting you!
Mila

nnenna's picture

Appreciate

Thanks mila, lets keep the flag flying

NNENNA

nnenna's picture

Appreciate

Indeed i appreciate your encouraging words rozjean,thank you so much.

NNENNA

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