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Women Vs. Women

Rajkumari brutally beaten for being witch

"You laugh at me coz I am different but I laugh at you coz u are all the same"

An elderly woman was stripped‚ beaten mercilessly and fed human faeces in Beladipur VDC of Kailali district, Nepal, for allegedly practising witchcraft. Raj Kumari was critically injured after the miscreants thrust a stick into her anus.

Another woman was burnt alive by her family for not bringing the enough dowry as demanded by her husband's family.

A young girl died because of the snake bite in far-western Nepal as she was sleeping in the cowshed during her menstrual period. Chhau padi is a practice of segregating girl from the house during the monthly periods and left to sleep with the animals.

Do you wanna hear more? I do have many such examples like a daughter in law killed mother-in-law or a mother-in-law burnt daughter in law etc etc.......

Now ask me Should I be proud of being a WOman? And who says men are problems?
The problem is not men; they were never a problem but a sub-ordinate. We are born with this malady of the spirit inherited from our orthodox norms and values. We have confined ourselves within the Plato's cave of shadows. As the saying goes, ‘Diamond cuts diamond’ women themselves are the enemy of each other, especially in the Nepalese society. We are busy back-biting, pulling one’s leg, quarreling almost till we survive. It’s our own mother who abandons us to touch our father, brother during our periods; it’s our own mother-in-laws who burn us alive for the sake of dowry;it's a woman herself who feed faeces into another woman accusing her to be a witch. The list goes on. And on top of it, wicked men continue to exploit our vulnerabilities. We need to go beyond the boundaries that we have made for ourselves. We need to start a fight against ourselves, our low mentality, jealousy any many other such characteristics that are hindering us to rise above.

Do you think its easy enough?
General characteristic of good daughter: study well, get good job, take care of parents, long dresses (the more complex the better), no parties no outings, no drinks, home by 5, talk less (lesser with boys the better), all house hold chores, mom's tears... dad's suggestion, brothers orders , no shouting, no loud laughter, ... marry at time ( earlier the better), no love marriage.... , bear child soon... take good care of child..................... and the list just doesn't end.... (in between doesn't even realize when a girl grew up and already became a women)..Oh, tough!
But still,
I am your daughter, sister, friend. I am young and have many dreams about my life. I know no boundaries, rules and regulation.I am like a flattering butterfly dancing here and there. I am your happiness, I am your future. So, please let me spread my wings, let me learn a lot in this lifetime, which may not be sufficient though.
Should women become like men in order to become equal with men and women or should both men and women become androgynous, each person combining the correct blend of positive masculine and feminine characteristics in order to be equal with every person? This is my fight, our fight against ourselves and against the discrimination, exploitation we are going through.

Worldpulse is helping me to build my army and I am sure I will succeed.No matter how hard the journey seems, we need to have faith in yourselves. We Rise! We Rise!!

The woman burnt alive for dowry

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Comments

Anita Muhanguzi's picture

Well said

Well Said my dear sister. You are the future and the change starts with you. You should have faith in yourself. Continue to post these touching stories. We are here for you my dear sister. God bless you.

Mrs. Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
Head of Legal and Advocacy
Centre for Batwa Minorities
a.kiddu@gmail.com
cfmlegal@gmail.com
Skype: mrs_muhanguzi

ansupokharel's picture

Thnx

Hey di(sister)

Thank you so much for the comment. I really believe that we are responsible for our own plight and we need to change.
Until we will fight with each other, we will be exploited by the opportunist men.

Anisha Pokharel

Nelly Bassily's picture

Dear Anisha, I don't believe

Dear Anisha,
I don't believe that women are their own enemies. As sad and harrowing as these stories you describe are, underneath them all is injustice. I'm not saying women are perfect. No one is. But, women and men (and others who don't adhere to the preset gender binary discourse of our societies) can equally be oppressed by the larger beast that is patriarchy. Underneath the story of the woman who was burnt alive for not bringing enough dowry as demanded by her husband's family is the larger problem of a system that imposes dowry. Questions can be asked as to why dowry exists? What is the purpose of it? And, does it keep women and men oppressed?
Dismantling the entrenched patriarchy within ourselves and our societies is a long and drawn out process.
But, change is coming. Bit by little bit, the women and men who rise against injustice are the ones making a difference. The feminist revolution is in the works... :)

Nelly Bassily
"We must become the change we want to see in the world"
(Mahatma Gandhi)

ansupokharel's picture

Irony

Nelly,
I do agree with you. Men are the problems but they are the sole cause. In our culture, sometimes men do nothing actually, I are encouraged to do so by a female either by mother or by wife. Hence, famous sociologist Lynn Bennet mentioned about Sacred Daughters and dangerous Wives in our society.

Anisha Pokharel

Lylinaguas's picture

A Different Side

You've shown a different side of how women tolerate or even participate in violence against other women. I too have read such stories and feel horrified that mothers, or female in-laws or other women can harm others like them for dowry, religious or cultural beliefs. There are many factors. But I am of the belief that both men and women should take the responsibility in making a difference in the world we live in. Make the change. It all starts with one who wants to create change to make the life of other women better. We would like to hear your stories as you create that change to other women's lives.

Lylin

loretta's picture

Furious!

I am 100% in agreement with you, think I once posted something similar, though it was about fraud, by a woman against another woman. It hurts when it gets like this, mostly with women, such abuse as you have mentioned stems from jealousy.

I have always wondered why mother-in-laws are so cruel, at some stage, she also was a bride. My friend even to this day, is not in good terms with her in-laws(with us the groom pays what you call a dowry, we call it lobola) for her husband having paid R4000.00, that was in the late eighties. The stories are endless.

I sometimes feel that these cruel actions by women against other women, defeats our cause. Because men seat back and watch us being cruel to each other. For what?

I am behind you sister, whatever idea or support, just shout. It took me days to have the courage to read your story to the end.

God bless you.

Loretta.

A successful woman is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks others throw at her. Author Unkown.

ola.mahadi's picture

Women may seel to be their

Women may seel to be their own enamy but deep down they are just standing for theme self not to be the next one being targetted by their community so they better show lowyality and stand for their community and culktural value even if the affected one are their own doughters it is complecated relationships.
Thank you for sharing this vision with us.
Ola

It is never too late to try make your way to your dream and left up your expectation.
Sudanes Women Building Peace
www.suwepmovement.org

Chinemu's picture

Touching

What a touching story it is, true women abuse list is endless and I totally agree with you that women themselves are the perpetrators of such abuse in the name of tradition. but some traditions just have to vanish. In our culture when a girl gets of age, she is confined to a house for a month or two, when she is suppose to in school. when a woman is getting married the emphasis is on her to taught on how to keep her husband and her home, what about the man? the woman is told of how to be submissive even when he is abusing the woman.
but these are slowly but surely changing with a few educated and informed women and World pulse is truly a place that we can change the world.

Bravo for being brave.

Keep your fire burning!

ansupokharel's picture

We ought to act

I am very much delighted by all of your wonderful comments. Ya, at first wwe need to change then only we can change others.

Anisha Pokharel

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