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Introducing myself and my journal: The everyday life of a average girl doing not so average things

About Me:
I am a survivor.
At 15 i got pregnant by a stranger at a party.. I had scholarships lined up to go to school across the country to anywhere i ever wanted to go or could possibly dream of. I was ahead a whole year in school, proud and strong and sure of myself... and then I thought i could do all of this with this boy, right? He was kind to me at first, we worked together to help him finish his schooling and he went on to join the USMC.

I wasnt allowed to talk to my friends or go out with out him. Overprotective much? We'd fight over it really bad like i was wrong for wanting to go out and see my girlfriends or my best friends. It got worse and worse so i just stopped seeing them. unless it was at school.

I had his baby, my daughter Evelyn she's my whole world. Not even 40 hours after she was born i was back in the hospital with her. Her face was blue, she had a high fever and i didn't know if she was going to live or not... neither did the doctors. Two weeks we were in the hospital with no idea, i couldnt even hardly get out of bed after just being in labor a couple of days before. He didnt even get up to help me once and left us there in the hospital for 4 months i was all alone with a sick baby.

He came back after 4 months, about ready to go to bootcamp for the USMC and everything was as if he hadnt left. Like it was before i had Evelyn. I let him back into my life unsure about what i was really getting into. I got a job and my parents watched our Daughter for us while he was gone until i could move with him to his duty station.

I wrote him everyday, 91 days he was in training unable to communicate via text, calls, or internet. I got maybe ten letters back tops. We got married right after boot camp and then he went back to 6 more months of training.

Things were weird, he stopped telling me where he was or who he was with and everything. He told me i wrote him too many letters and to stop texting him so much because it was annoying. His wife was annoying. I brushed it off as his ego beginning to get too big. So we weren't communicating so much and he was being secretive.

After his 6 months of training i moved down there with him packed up and left my cozy city of Eugene made my way down to 29 Palms California. Theres absolutely nothing to do there, unless you drive out to San Diego, or to Disney Land.
We had a house on the base and it was perfect i love interior design all the colors matched the house was done all cute within the week of us moving in. Everything was happy, we went shopping for grocereys and he left for the field for the week. And then things started to get a little weird.

He was angry, and violent towards me but never actually hit me. Just scared the crap outta me. I couldnt sleep or hardly do anything without making him mad at me. I did everything i could to please him and if i did something wrong my dishes would be broken or my coffee would accidentally spill into my lap.. Our daughter had just turned 1 when we moved down there and she didnt even want to go to him. I kept thinking "this is going to work out he's just too tired" or "oh hes just in a rut"

In all honesty I was isolated in a new place without my family, no friends and no where to go. My husband abandoned me during the week and on the weekend i was humiliated. Yelling because we were out of dog food, we had one car (which he took with him) and i couldnt walk to the store from the opposite side of base with our baby on my hip. My neighbors would bring me a quarter of a bag full of dog food claiming theyre dogs were picky.. Lots of things like that

It took me 2 years to leave him. Im glad i did because he's getting help and we're working on things so that we are getting along for Evelyn. I go to counseling three times a week still, Evelyns about due for a second surgery we're not sure when.

But that's just me, my beginning to all of this.
Thank you for reading

My Passions:
Music, writing, blogging, my daughter, helping others

My Challenges:
Communicating, Facing the World with lost hope

My Vision for the Future:
The undoing of dehumanization towards young or teen mothers

My Areas of Expertise:
Teen Pregnancy, Young Mothers, Military Wife/ divorce, addiction

Comments

Klaudia Mexico's picture

Bienvenida!!!

Dear Beth!!!

I know life is very hard, but we´re here to support you. Don´t be afraid we´re here for you. World pulse is an amazing place to share, to learn and to empower us.
keep being strong,
cheers
Klaudia

Klaudia González

Bethany_mama2011's picture

Thank you

Thank you! I need the support <3

Klaudia Mexico's picture

We're here for you :D

We're here for you :D

Klaudia González

Aminah's picture

Welcome aboard :)

Dear Bethany

Welcome to World Pulse! You are now part of a thriving community based women leaders and supporters from 190 countries. See the pulse of the world Quick Start Guide to learn more about networking in our community: http://www.worldpulse.com/pulsewire/about/guide

Your story touched my heart deeply and I am glad you have started the journey of getting free from that agony. Your strength is commendable. Explore around on other people's posts here. There are so many wonderful people with such heartfelt stories we encounter here in World Pulse.

We all need to work together to make a meaningful change.
I hope to hear more from you.

Salaam (Peace be with you and me).
Aminah

VOF 2013 participant

Salaam
Aminah

Thank you (:
Its been a rough journey and its no where near the end
Its nice to have someone else around to say "your not crazy"

pelamutunzi's picture

welcome

hello,
thank you for sharing and being a part of this community. I must say your story brought tears to my heart and I am glad you found worldpulse because everyone here is selfless and looks out for each other. life has been hard but use this platform to share your stories with the worldpulse community and help others. sometimes it takes reading another's experience to find solutions and face life.

cant wait to read more from you

we may be powerless to stop an injustice but let there never be a time we fail to protest.
regards
pela

Bethany_mama2011's picture

Thank you I think i was in

Thank you

I think i was in need of finding World Pulse <3 I never would have thought i'd find so much support from so many different people

Lia@WP's picture

Good luck

Hi, Bethany.

We all make commit mistakes especially when we are young. We grow older and we learn. And when we learn we get wiser. I hope that the challenges in your life will serve as your road to a successful life.

Good luck.

Best,
Lia

lia

shahd's picture

our heats are with you

Your Story made me cry! I cant understand why some men act so jerk , sorry if I offended, but he doesnt deserve you. you are strong in nature darling. If you werent strong, you would end up homeless or drinking alcohol all day long, which is the case for so many single Moms but you have survived this and you will survive many more. Together we give you support, and we will be there to listen to you and pray for your daughter to get better.
All the Love and support from Iraq
Shahd

Bethany_mama2011's picture

Thank you Mostly I think my

Thank you

Mostly I think my husband (we're finally finalizing our divorce) just don't get along. He IS a jerk that made me laugh!
Women are strong, its in our nature, we are just now realizing that, thats why we're here (:

VITSAF's picture

Welcome Bethany

Dear Bethany,

With gratitude I welcome you to World Pulse!

You are now part of a thriving community of grassroots women leaders and supporters from 190 countries.

Really nice reading your story, I can relate with your story becoming a mother at such tender stage and the challenges you've been through, you are a strong woman, please never feel you are not good for your are.

I look forward to hearing your voice in the community especially as it concerns your interest area 'The undoing of dehumanization towards young or teen mothers! I love the fact that you are taking up a cause inspired by your personal experience.

Warm Regards and Much Love,
Ogo

Improving the Quality of Life of individuals (primarily women) living with vitiligo, skin imperfections altered images and autoimmune disorder!

www.vitsaf.org
www.25june.org
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