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Filling The Well

A personal story is a well of great profundity, not filled with, “one water”, but with an abundance of distinctively shaped water particles connected, making up the whole. Together this myriad of unrelated complex traits, and experiences make a woman’s multifaceted story, defying classification. Her story does not define her… but her stories help her determine who she can be.
As her well overflows, others may come to drink from it.

As soon as I could speak, my mother worried. Incessant probing about the fates of the poor, and glue-sniffing street children my age became my themes of conversation. The consternation didn’t wane for the 3 year old, instead trauma turned inwards, the fate of being female became the hated cross to bear. A traumatizing, invasive male gynecologist visit led to the removal of a cyst from my 6 year-old ovaries. Regularly locking myself in the bathroom not long after, staring at the mirror until a white light enveloped me, I’d ask, “Why am I here? What is this body? Why am I a girl? Why wasn’t I a boy…” 26 years would pass before the premise of cultivating self-love and power and acceptance in being a woman became significant through sites like WP, answers began to formulate within me.

A young life marred by anger at the world’s injustices, loathing was turned inward again by the onslaught of grand-mal* seizures I began experiencing at 17. Three years later, with fear and frustration with a changing political climate and state of my country, I left for the USA to pursue education I hoped would help bring light to the darkness of the world. This outward focus was continually shaken by epilepsy and its related psychological side effects, a lack of self-confidence and direction.

However, my outlook changed after a seizure related drowning in a pool at the age of 25. The options: take charge of life and seek the light, or loose it completely.
Too long I ignored my ills and focused on those of the outside world, being easier to curse the dark than turn on the light. I choose empowerment through education and acceptance of my condition, the light-switch lay within me. It wasn’t until leaving an emotionally abusive relationship that I understood the tangible, direct correlation between self-worth, positivity, emotional wellbeing, community, and female health. And I found purpose in the Women’s Empowerment Movement online.
The lesson: Start with me. By healing myself I can help others.
Now, the great-ill* and the WP movement, light my road to self-realization, knowledge, compassion… it emboldens my desire to be of service and my determination to survive.

I am witness to the injustices in the global south, and overcame the personal struggles of living with a disability in the global north. By merging these, Voices of Our Future will guide me in developing my voice, helping me empower women from the inside out, as it is we, the empowered women who will courageously usher in the new world.

Comments

Sharontina's picture

Hi

Beautiful choice of words and so much power in the pen in combination i see in your writing dear. I wish your vision all success. Keep sharing more.

Love.

Merlin Sharontina

sallyf's picture

Hello Radiocami, You do have

Hello Radiocami,
You do have a way with words! I was immediately absorbed in your poetic, deeply personal story and felt really moved by it. What a lot your poor, young body had to go through!
I think you are absolutely right: if we do not start with ourselves and learn how to heal, we can never truly understand how to heal others. And in any case, where could we summon the strength to do so from?
Your metaphor of the well really encapsulates the complexities involved when history, relationship and identity merge to form a story. I find it so empowering when you say "Her story does not define her… but her stories help her determine who she can be." More more inspiring still is the idea of overflowing so that others may come to drink from your well.
Keep up the work, from the inside out (how else can you reach the depths?)
Sally.

sherises's picture

Thank you, Radiocami.

You seem to have a nice connection with water. Water is a wonderful metaphor for life's experiences: sometimes free-flowing, others turgid,roaring rapids or the darkness of the undertow. You have risen above it's capability to take you down - in many ways.

Congratulations on realizing the power of treating yourself well. The light you speak of will shine brightly as you continue to define yourself and your passion. The World Pulse community is an amazing resource and will serve you well as you continue on your journey.

Continue writing..... it is one of your great strengths.

Best to you,
Julie

every day go out of your way to do something kind

Speaking of water... your post made my eyes well up ;)

Thank you so much to you and everyone else who has responded. It was the first time I spoke openly and publicly of all these personal issues and feel so incredibly fortunate and grateful for any and all your feedback as it is the best way to improve and for your support as it keeps me going.

Overjoyed in California,

camila

valerie camila rhodes

ccontreras's picture

You have gone through so much

You have gone through so much in such a short life! But I am happy to know that you are here and you are sharing your powerful story with us! I have friends from Venezuela and I know how difficult the situation is in the country at the moment. There is a lot of uncertainty. But I am hopeful that your experiences can teach others that despite the personal troubles and the environment we grow up in, we can still overcome all of that and leave a mark in this world. :-) Te deseo lo mejor! x
Cynthia from Florida, USA.

"I embrace emerging experience. I am a butterfly. Not a butterfly collector." - Stafford

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