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When the beast prowl


Kashmir the paradise on earth! The land which attracted and impressed people to such an extent that someone once said, "if there is paradise on earth, its here, its here, its here." However, the eighteen years old conflict has pushed Kashmir into the darkness of suppression and human tragedy. The continuous violence and subjugation has ended the calm of people.
These cataclysmic changes have compelled many people to survive on the terms and condition of dominant forces.

Here everyone has his own tragic story to narrate. Some people cry, some carp while others bear the agony in silence and solitude.
Recently I met one such bruised soul Abida, 28, resident of Baramulla. When Abida was seventeen, she was compelled to take a consequential decision of her life and that left her crippled for ever.

It all started when Sajjad Abida’s brother joined a militant outfit in early 90’s. He was overwhelmed with the zeal and enthusiasm for doing something for Kashmir and soon he became a part of a leading militant outfit. Though his parents and sister never wanted him to be a militant but Sajjad clearly told to his parents that he knew what he was doing and nothing can stop him.

As it happens in insurgencies, the counter insurgents always lay traps for such individuals and one such trap was laid against Sajjad and his family. Sajjad fell into a police dragnet. He was definitely a big catch but was not immediately caught because there was a reason and the reason was Sajjad's sister Abida.

As a part of the routine counter insurgency operation the army and police made it a point to visit the house of those who were involved in under-ground activities and hence Sajjad's house was always a target.

Exploiting the fear of Sajjad's family the police top gun (whose name Abida does not want to disclose as she fears for her parents now) made a ‘deal’ with his family. The officer offered not to kill or arrest Sajjad for which he wanted family to please him by offering Abida to live with him for one year.

It was a painful decision (words actually fall short) for Abida, as she was then dreaming of a prosperous and dignified life. Propitiating her chastity, on the alter of fear was the worst thing that could happen to her. Her brother was her life and how could she let him slip into the hands of death. So she decided to ‘trade’ herself off for her brother and stayed with the police official for one full year.

Sajjad was still under the watchful eyes of police officials. He never came to know about the ‘deal’ being made between his sister and the police officer - the ultimate sacrifice that his sister made for his freedom.

For a year police officer kept mutilating the innocence of the girl and she, with no other alternative, went through the torture. Every night she went through a physical and psychological trauma. This type of torture did not end fast and for Abida each day was like a never-ending pain. But finally when the ordeal did come to an end she was set free and allowed to go. May be they no longer needed her.

But Abida was not the same as she used to be. She had been mauled by the beasts. But somewhere deep in her heart there was a feeling that her sacrifice could save the life of her brother.

When she reached home, her brother Sajjad was puzzled to see her. He wanted to know where she was all the year. No doubt it was hard to tell him about this painful reality but Abida did it. She explained him what the year had been to her.
Sajjad stood paralyzed after hearing her sister. He did not know what had hit him. He never expected that any sister in this world would under go such horrible thing, just to save the life of her brother.

Two days later when Sajjad left home for some work, while walking through a narrow lane of his locality, some unidentified gun man came and shot him in the middle of his skull from his back. The game of his life was all over in a minute.
Soon the news spread that Sajjad has been shot dead. Abida first could not believe it. When she ran towards the spot, she saw her brother lying in a pool of frozen blood. Her entire world collapsed. It was a frightening end of the game that destiny had played. The memories of the terrible and the horrifying year came rushing to haunt her. That moment Abidaa lost all - her brother, her sacrifice and her honour…


Jensine's picture

Terror tale

SHazia -
I almost could not bring myself to comment on this story because there are no words to describe the feeling of having this tale of terror hit your insides. And yet, you have brought it to light with searing poetry for that I commend you. It is a priviledge to hear your voice here. Thank you.

Jensine Larsen
World Pulse

Shazia Khan's picture

Terror tale

Thanks Jensine for listening me and for your kind words.

Corine Milano's picture

Shazia, Thank you for sharing


Thank you for sharing your words with us, and for providing this devastating glimpse into Kashmir. I hope you will decide to share this same post in the Hope in Kashmir: Sharing Our Stories group, found here:

That group is linked to from our editorial coverage of Kashmir (, so by sharing in that group your piece will gain even more visibility.

Again, Shazia, thank you so much, and I do hope you will continue to provide these important glimpses into Kashmir on the ground.

In solidarity,
Corine Milano
World Pulse

Ila17's picture

thank you

Thank you very much for sharing this story. I am grateful that these stories are told and not kept silent, this is the only way things will change.


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