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My Voice is a Chance for Change

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Back in USSR… I was born in the country which not exists anymore. In this fabulous country everyone was equal, so far that women here built railway lines, and one of them became the longest in the world. One of the main slogans from those times was “A Woman! Rebel against kitchen slavery!” And women rebelled. They not only made all housework, but also worked on house building, heavy and machine industry, etc. And everyone sincerely believed that women had equal rights with men. And yes, they had the right to work the same hard as men.

At one moment this huge country collapsed. Everything changed. But one thing did not. A woman here never had a right to be a feminist. In the times of the USSR to be a feminist was almost the same as to be a spy, in the same line with political crimes and betray of the country because surely you supported those evil American capitalists. Now to be a feminist means you are lesbian or that crazy one with sexual problems. I must confess I avoided this word also because didn’t want people think I am kind of sick. Because we live in European country, in 21 century, a priori it means women have all rights. Then what to do with those ones who suffer from domestic violence? Who live with alcoholic husbands just because they cannot divorce, better suffer than provoke rumors. A good girl must have only one man, if he hits you it means he loves you (is a proverb), you cannot find a good husband if you are older than 25 or worse –have children. I live in this world. I live in the nightmare of “And what our neighbors will say about your divorce?” or “I hope at least you don’t sleep with him?” and “Don’t get pregnant!” Last phrase I’ve heard from my mother when I was 33 years and married for the second time. My mother taught me that women should not enjoy sex, but must give all satisfaction for a man. I live in the country where opinion of neighbors is more important than your happiness, where men have right to have lovers and you don’t even have a right to divorce.

I lived more than thirty years in the silence. And now I have a chance not only to speak, but to shout! No one in this world can take your right to be happy! And yes, you are good enough to be loved and respected!

If I have a chance to be heard of World Pulse creators, I would say “Thanks a lot for this incredible opportunity and for my voice which raises above all prejudices. And I promise never stop! I want women understand they deserve to be happy just because they are women, just because they are human beings!”

Smile and do all to become happy! Give me your hand! We will walk together this beautiful road, because we deserve it!

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Comments

Sharontina's picture

Happiness!

Happiness and much much more we deserve Iryna, our rights, to live as what we are. bringing the status of your women out there really touched me. Though this is an endemic issue the feelings and pain each woman undergoes is unique is my opinion. Keep sharing dear.

And i wish you all best.

Love.

Merlin Sharontina

Iryna's picture

sharing

Is rather endemic sympthoms of a global disease. Every day I read words from different countries, opposite sides of the world, where I recognise myself. China, Congo, Mexico, Ukraine - everywhere girls grow thinking that men have more rights than women, just because they are men. And no one teach them that they were born not only give but also receive happiness.
I'm glad to find here friends and people sharing my vision. I like speaking about these issues.
Thank you, Sharontina!
A hug,
Iryna

Klaudia Mexico's picture

I don't think we believe men

I don't think we believe men have more rights than us, we're force to pretend is like that 'cause our mother have always thought that the way to be. I know it's very hard to understand. So, we must be the chance for change.
Well done
Klaudia

Klaudia González

Iryna's picture

responsible-irresponsible

It's a paradox, because with rights you supposed to receive also responsibilities. But most of irresponsible people I know are men. Mothers grow them as the biggest treasure, and often they stay big children even adult. I have a little daughter and I want she become first of all a nice person, then a good professional and in the same time a good mother and wife. Is not so difficult if you understand that everyone can do it.

Thanks a lot for the comment, Klaudia!

A hug,
Iryna

bhavna's picture

sure deserve it!

Dear Iryna, a very informative and a passionate piece. Nations differ but the suffering of each and every women is the same.The ideology of domination permeates this globe at various level, and it needs to be addressed with vigor you posses. Wish you to best to keep going.

bhavna

Iryna's picture

together

Thanks a lot for your support, bhavna! Some issues are difficult to talk about. And is very important to know that you are not alone!
Warmest regards,
Iryna

Cali gal Michelle's picture

silent no more

Your voice is heard, echoing through distance and time.
Your voice is heard, speaking from the page.
Your voice is heard, whispering in my ear.

Your voice is lifted, carried by your sisters around the world. Silenced no more.

With you in sisterhood,

Let us Hope together-
Michelle
aka: Cali gal

Listener
Sister-Mentor
@CaliGalMichelle
facebook.com/caligalmichelle

Iryna's picture

Thank you

This is so touching and inspiring, Michelle! Thank you for these words, they are amazing because so straight and so honest!
Warmest wishes,
Iryna

Cali gal Michelle's picture

some more comments...

Iryna- I wanted to give you some comments regarding this entry. I was immediately drawn in as you describe the rising of women in your country's history. You have written good detail regarding attitudes towards women, and provided a picture of the difficulties and injustices that exist. It is an evil thing that this attitude and treatment exists all over the world in a variety of forms. I would be interested to know what you would do to begin changing these attitudes in your country? Or what actions you could take or enlist other women to take with you? We are here to help you create a vision or action plan, and to stand with you in whatever you need.

Keep writing, keep speaking. We hear you!

Let us Hope together-
Michelle
aka: Cali gal

Listener
Sister-Mentor
@CaliGalMichelle
facebook.com/caligalmichelle

Iryna's picture

a part of change

Michelle, thanks again for your attention! I am happy to find in you a real friend and supporter!
I like World Pulse because I feel like at home here, comfortable and supported, a part of a big family of women around the world who believe, it's possible to work for better future.
And any little thing here works and helps to make changes. I sincerely believe that I'm doing my part. And with my examples, my view, sharing my experience, dreams and hopes, together with women who feel me as a part of the change, we will build a better world!

adeakins's picture

Thanks

Thank you for sharing your story! Keep making your voice one for change.

-Aaron

Iryna's picture

Together

Thank you, Aaron, for reading my story! Maybe one voice in nothing but all together we can change the world!
Greetings from the Black Sea!

I really admire your courage for standing up and sharing your story and the reality of your country with us. I know that people think that in other cultures women have had the free choice to become feminists. But in other countries, the roles women have were given to them by men... Like being able to be a part of the construction of a house or a railway. A man allowed for this to happen, but yet society is unable to let go of that stigma today and allow for women to make choices on how they want to live their life. I grew up with the same mentality of feminism, it hasn't been until I was in my twenties, living away from my country of birth that I realized how society itself pushes women down. Our mothers may not comprehend what we are trying to do but we must not give up! :-)
Please continue sharing your story with the world! :-)
Peace and Love,
Cynthia from Florida USA (born in Guatemala)

"I embrace emerging experience. I am a butterfly. Not a butterfly collector." - Stafford

Iryna's picture

To be or not to be

Hola, Cynthia, born in Guatemala, but living in the USA!
You are so right that these problems are not because of cultural difference, they are the same for the whole world. Men think they give us permissions to be or not to be. But our lives must be our choice. And we need to raise our voices so they hear, this is our right!
That's why we are here, even my mother would not support me in this!

Gracias por tu apoyo, Cynthia!
Saludos hasta Florida!

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