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Shut up! It’s My Life!

When I was a little girl, I was dressed in pink dresses and given dolls to play with. As I grew up and was old enough to make my own choices, I started to fill my wardrobe with black and play race car models with boys. “Pink was never my color, and I have never befriended with a doll!” I later told my mom. “Well, you know, that’s how a girl is supposed to be like” she said.

When I graduated from college, I became a professional woman with ideas and enthusiasm to prove myself. Then people started telling me how pathetic and unhappy successful professional women end up, and that the better life for women is to find a rich guy, get married and start a family before “beauty and freshness start to wither”. “I like my life now. I enjoy working, being economically independent and single for the time being”, I said. “It’s what women are supposed to do, and what others expect from them”, they said.

Despite of being different, I never stopped believing that my life should be in MY total control. It’s not easy, for the social environment is not always friendly. Yet I firmly believe that women should be given the right to choose their own path and live their own life.

The traditions dominating today’s society are created by men and serve the needs of men. Such traditions take women as accessories of men, and render no space for women’s own thoughts and voices. We are fed with what to do, what is supposed to be, what should be right for us… But have they ever asked what we want?!

Many talented, educated and able women have their dreams to become physicists, lawyers, politicians, or simply working ladies in any profession, alongside being wives and moms. But there’s always someone telling them: “A woman’s place is home.” As long as tradition persists, there will always be women facing the dilemma of being THE WOMEN they don’t want to be.

Struggling with thousands of others in the same dilemma, I turn to worldpulse community for power charge and tools to fight against the suppressing tradition. Instead of keeping “equal rights for women” a political propaganda, we sisters should unite and push for gender equality, a recognition of women being equals to men.

Shenzhen, the city where I live, has just past a municipal legislation to promote gender equality, the very first in China. It’s an enchanting start, yet still a long way to re-path a tradition so deeply rooted in a male-dominating society. I’m now writing a thesis on policy analysis of this legislation, and hopefully, after gaining knowledge from worldpulse community, I could make more effective and powerful recommendations to improve the legislation, and advocate for a change in the bigger environment.

This all starts with recognizing women’s rights as human rights. And yes, it’s our rights, our choice, our life! Anybody else please SHUT UP!

Comments

Iryna's picture

Support you!

Dear Christina, with both hands support you, and understand how sometimes is difficult to make changes. This is not only about legislation, this is so deep in people's mind. We need to change this.
I want to have a right for happiness and decide by myself what to do for this! And in this I completely agree with you!

Iryna

Chrisitina's picture

Thank you

Iryna, thx for your support! I totally agree with you on the fact that changes in ideas are never merely a matter of legislation. It's more importantly a process of civilization realized through education and sometimes bloody battles. But I know that all of us on World Pulse won't stop to fight even though it might not be a rosy path to take. This is already power and courage! And what I like about this community. Let's keep on!

Christina

Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.

Sharontina's picture

China!

Its great to see a wonderful lady from China. I appreciate the way you have brought out the bold and independent feelings describing your personality. Keep sharing dear.

Love.

Merlin Sharontina

Chrisitina's picture

Thank you Sharontina for the

Thank you Sharontina for the encouragement. I will keep up. But please understand that i have to be a bit discrete sometimes.

Sincerely,
Christina

Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.

bhavna's picture

Fantastic!

Dear Chrisitina, Many congrats to you for being a kind of person you so desired to be. Women of substance like you can surely bring about a change in the society. Keep up.

Best wishes for your thesis
bhavna

Chrisitina's picture

THanks bhavna ! I'm greatly

THanks bhavna ! I'm greatly encouraged to take more realistic actions to make a change after joining this community, and I'm so enlightened by and in awe of the those who have already done so all round the globe. Thank all of you!

Regards,
bhavna

Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.

ayodele emefe's picture

Hello Christina, Thank you

Hello Christina,

Thank you for sharing your story.

I once bought a pink bodysuit for my male child and was very surprised when a friend said "oh please don't wear him that anymore he is not a girl". I told her I liked it and so I bought it and not because my child was a boy or girl. So it is a common phenomenon associating pink with women and I still wonder why. Honda did not make it any better when they also introduced pink cars exclusively for women. what a world!

Please can you share with us how you came about world Pulse and what motivated you to apply to the VOF programme? I am sure that it will be a delightful read.

Cheers,

Ayodele

"You are a champion and a hero. Do not think yourself any less"

Chrisitina's picture

Hi Ayodele, thx for your

Hi Ayodele, thx for your comment. I agree that the color association is common everywhere and it's also a take-for-granted stereotype for girl and boy. Actually, "common sense" or "traditional practice" as such is also a reflection of the mainstream ideology, which is unfortunately not always in favor of females. And it's very hard to change. Personally, I'm very against such stereotypes, which set out man-made limitations for women, no matter it's the way we dress or the life we choose. It's interference into personal life, and an infringement of our human rights. Yes, some traditions need to be respected and followed, but that's up to us to make the choice. We have our judgement, and we are capable of making our own decision. What I don't like about the current situation facing women is that we're treated as retarded sometimes and told what to do. And hilariously, when people realize we're smart enough, they say that it's not productive for women to be too smart, and we should try to cover up our smartness... What a world! I guess it's these little things and the anger combined made me very upset about the plight women are facing, and that motivated me to apply to VOF, and hopefully make a change in my community. As for how i came about World Pulse, it's quite accidental. I just came across this website when I search for materials on women's empowerment. When I saw this VOF program, i was very excited, and although I'm unexpectedly busy during this whole process, I made a pact with myself to finish the 4 assignments no matter what. So, I'm also very sorry about this late reply. Hope it answers your questions.

Regards,
Christina

Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.

Aberamy's picture

Great one !!!!

it’s our rights, our choice, our life! Anybody else please SHUT UP! Should Shut UP!!!

Thank you for a wonderful writing Dear

Chrisitina's picture

Thank you Aberamy! Thx for

Thank you Aberamy! Thx for the support!

Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.

tracimichelle8's picture

Powerful Voice

You have a powerful voice and you write so well Christina!
I support you in making the changes you so deeply desire and these changes will surely benefit all of us.
I wholeheartedly agree that we all deserve the right to choose our own path in life free from oppressive traditions.
Joyfully,
Traci

Chrisitina's picture

Hi Traci, thank you very much

Hi Traci, thank you very much for your support and encouragement. So far, I'm overjoyed by the responses i've got from this fancinating community, and I already feel more empowered than i was before applying to VOF. I guess this is the magic of World Pulse and together we're sure to make miracles!

Sincerely,
Christina

Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.

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